Ando85 said:
I notice myself and a lot of others use the term "it" as a pronoun when referring to typically an animal or perhaps an unborn baby when the gender is not known.
As good as opportunity as I'll be able to get to use this quote again
Jerome K. Jerome said:
There are various methods by which you may achieve ignominy and shame. By murdering a large and respected family in cold blood and afterward depositing their bodies in the water companies' reservoir, you will gain much unpopularity in the neighborhood of your crime, and even robbing a church will get you cordially disliked, especially by the vicar. But if you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human creature can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby "it."
Ando85 said:
I asked her what I should say instead in the case of say a stray cat. She then says its better to just say he or her despite not knowing the gender, as being wrong about that isn't bad like saying "it" apparently is to her.
That's your problem? What to call stiff instead of "it"? I used to have some problems with using gendered pronouns in the past but my solution was to...avoid them. It's not
that hard in English - just use a different name that doesn't actually betray a gender. The stray cat can later be referred to as "the cat", "the stray", "the fuzzy one" or "the scruffy one" (depending on looks), "the feline", "the animal", "the trash muncher", "the fucking thing that scared the shit out of me when it jumped out of the garbage can" and numerous others that could even have more relevance depending on context. An unborn baby can be "the baby", "the unborn", "the child", "offspring", "little one", "little human", and so on. A born baby you don't know the gender of...I'll actually just let Jerome continue his thoughts
Jerome K. Jerome said:
Your best plan is to address the article as "little angel." The noun "angel" being of common gender suits the case admirably, and the epithet is sure of being favorably received. "Pet" or "beauty" are useful for variety's sake, but "angel" is the term that brings you the greatest credit for sense and good-feeling. The word should be preceded by a short giggle and accompanied by as much smile as possible. And whatever you do, don't forget to say that the child has got its father's nose. This "fetches" the parents (if I may be allowed a vulgarism) more than anything. They will pretend to laugh at the idea at first and will say, "Oh, nonsense!" You must then get excited and insist that it is a fact. You need have no conscientious scruples on the subject, because the thing's nose really does resemble its father's--at all events quite as much as it does anything else in nature--being, as it is, a mere smudge.
But there are others that can apply, as well.
I've not run across a situation where you can only ever use a pronoun and nothing else would do.
As for me nowadays - I still try to avoid using pronouns but not as much as before. When talking about somebody whose gender I know, I'd use "he" or "she"; if I don't know the gender I would sometimes use "they" or just avoid pronouns; for inanimate thoughtless objects, like a table or chair, using "it" is quite appropriate; if it's generally an object but for some reason has thoughts and/or feeling - be it anthropomorphic object in a story or maybe a self-aware robot, perhaps an AI, then I try to make a second judgement call to determine whether a different pronoun is more appropriate - if it's hard to figure out (takes more than few seconds to think about), then I don't use pronouns; for mostly everything else - I try to not use pronouns.
Seems to work for me and I've been using this tactic for quite a while now.
