What do you think the above users deepest darkest secrets are?

[C F]

Secretly obsessed with finding the meaning behind narwhals.

 

[JLML]

Believes that MLP:FiM is real, and that it is out there somewhere.

 

[Dango]

Is wanted for the theft of hundreds of garbage trucks.

 

[JLML]

Is the mastermind of said theft.

 

[mParadox]

Planned the theft in his head.

 

[JLML]

Was mind-read so that I could plan your plan in my head so he could mastermind it so I could execute it.

 

[mParadox]

Tried to do inception but ended up in a visit to Angel Falls.

 

[JLML]

Actually did that together with me, but somehow ended up at the magic bus.

 

[mParadox]

We had a magical night one afternoon.

 

[JLML]

Is the one coming up with all these weird captcha's.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Knows who Jack the Ripper really is.

 

[mParadox]

Would love for more coherence but I don't do sense.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Eats people.

 

[mParadox]

Provides them cheaper by the dozen.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Is the cheapest of them all.

 

[JLML]

Is just as cheap.

 

[C F]

You know things. Things you wish you didn't know, but haunt you every night.
(Also... something about a poodle? I'm not very good at predicting.)

 

[JLML]

Indeed... Though I'm not sure about the poodle... Though... My dog has a friend who's a poodle. That might be it!
EDIT: Also, they don't just haunt me every night... They prevent me from sleeping. Haven't slept for almost 40 hours at the time of writing, and before I slept those 5 hours before this I hadn't slept for 38 hours. <.<

Also, your secret is that you're actually my interwebz stalker. xD

 

[SmoothGlover]

Well as the person above me has already had their deepest secret revealed:

You know things. Things you wish you didn't know, but haunt you every night.
(Also... something about a poodle? I'm not very good at predicting.)

I shall simply expand on it. Those things that you wish you didn't know, but that haunt you every night. It was all because of a certain event. It happened on this night didn't it. 19th of January 1987. It was dark, rainy and generally rather grim. And it was the night that everything changed for you. Wasn't it... WASN'T IT!

I wont embarrass you by actually revealing it here. But you know what you did.

 

[C F]

Also, your secret is that you're actually my interwebz stalker. xD

Never. Just taking stabs in the psychological dark. Speaking of which, I'm not sure if I hit the nail on the head or if you're just humoring me. Your response might be evidence to the former, but I'm fairly certain that...
That I'm reading too much into this.

@SmoothGlover
You like coffee.
That's it.