What is everyones favorite Cave Johnson quote?
- Thread starter teh_v
- Start date
I got three that made me laugh extremely hard:
"Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction."
"Now, if you're part of Control Group Kepler-Seven, we implanted a tiny microchip about the size of a postcard into your skull. Most likely you've forgotten it's even there, but if it starts vibrating and beeping during this next test, let us know, because that means it's about to hit five hundred degrees, so we're gonna need to go ahead and get that out of you pretty fast."
"Just a heads up: We're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. Honestly, we're throwing science at the wall here. Best case scenario, you gain some superpowers. Worst case is you get some tumors, but we'll just cut those right out."
This game has forever changed me
"Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction."
"Now, if you're part of Control Group Kepler-Seven, we implanted a tiny microchip about the size of a postcard into your skull. Most likely you've forgotten it's even there, but if it starts vibrating and beeping during this next test, let us know, because that means it's about to hit five hundred degrees, so we're gonna need to go ahead and get that out of you pretty fast."
"Just a heads up: We're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. Honestly, we're throwing science at the wall here. Best case scenario, you gain some superpowers. Worst case is you get some tumors, but we'll just cut those right out."
This game has forever changed me
"The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I should stop making these prerecorded messages. That gave me an idea, make more prerecorded messages! I pay the bills here I can talk about the control group all damn day."
Well aren't you a kill joy.MelasZepheos said:
OT: Everything he said was gold, but I got to love the wheelchair bit.
There are so many great quotes. It's great how he slowly becomes more and more of a crazy jerk.
Anyway, my favourite quote has to be the speech about burning life's house down with lemons, closely followed by "that's 65% more bullet per bullet."
Anyway, my favourite quote has to be the speech about burning life's house down with lemons, closely followed by "that's 65% more bullet per bullet."
"Haha, I like your style! You make up your own rules, just like me. (Some name I don't know) said I couldn't fire somebody just because he was in a wheelchair. Did it anyway, ramps are expensive."Liberaliter said:
"Bean counter said I couldn't fire a man for being in a wheelchair, did it anyway. Ramps are expensive"
~Cave Johnson
~Cave Johnson
'Make Life take the lemons back'
'We have a better test. Fighting an army of mantis men.'
'Try and get near that baby, your funeral.'
Cave Johnson is just brilliant, I'm still surprised that the guy who voiced him (J.K. Simmons) use to be a sadistic Nazi rapist in Oz and here he's downright hilarious
'We have a better test. Fighting an army of mantis men.'
'Try and get near that baby, your funeral.'
Cave Johnson is just brilliant, I'm still surprised that the guy who voiced him (J.K. Simmons) use to be a sadistic Nazi rapist in Oz and here he's downright hilarious
The comment about missing astronauts was hilarious in context, also after greeting a load of guys he brought in off the street to be test subjects saying "We wanted the best and the brightest and you're it." *beat* *chuckle* "Nope, couldn't keep a straight face."
That said, why all this for Cave and no love for Wheatley? I'm going to attempt a manual override on this thread.
That said, why all this for Cave and no love for Wheatley? I'm going to attempt a manual override on this thread.
So did I don't worry, I also pictured him sitting on a desk smoking a fat cigar during Lab Rat.penguindude42 said:
And "Don't spend in a hurry. Caroline, what do these people buy? Tattered hats? Beard dirt?" or the best "65% more bullet per bullet!"
... I have nothing to say to this. At all. However, if i did have something to say to this, it would be something like:MelasZepheos said:
What's so bad about memes? If something becomes a meme in this game, more often than not it would be because it's comedy gold, and deserves to be repeated... Maybe not ad infinitum, but certainty once or twice. And these lines are not going to be memes. Memes are things that you can work into everyday conversation. Tell me how you can put the Lemon rant [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8ufRnf2Exc&NR=1] or Wheatley's brain damage talk into casual conversation. You can't. And neither can you with every single other quote in this game. This game is rather anti-meme. It has lots of brilliant quotes, but unlike portal 1, it's 4x longer, so there is a much larger quantity of good quotes, which makes remembering (and thus meme-ising) the same quote as someone else almost impossible. Thus, Portal 2 is very anti-meme. And due to the nature of the internet, for some reason "spaaaaaaaaaaaaaace" has become a meme... I'd just ignore it. I have absolutely no idea why they picked that phrase, probably because of the shortness, and i'd just ignore it as much as possible.
And how can you critique us about what we are doing without playing the game? "Oh, that looks like a booring game of [insert sport here], so i am going to be a **** and tell people to shut up when they start talking about the game... That i haven't watched."
Also, what exactly are you saying? I havne't played portal 2 (or portal it seems) and thus i am themaster of the internet and i dictate what or what shouldn't become a meme... Jesus, you sound like the "Mass effect is a porno" crowd... Listen to yourself... And go and play the greatest game that will come out this year. I don't care how, just play it. It will make you sound much less bigoted and stupid.
"Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There?s a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I?m serious visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction?