What is Love, really?

[TheLiham]

Love is like a mental illness. (cookie for reference )

But seriously,

Fuck no it isn't worth it, from where I stand it brings way more shit than it does happiness.

 

[Pyro Paul]

Love is a chemical reaction in the human body designed to create an attachment or affinity to a specific object or entity. This tie to that item, be it food, individuals of the opposit sex, or an action they do, is usually is designed to promote the well being of the individual through one means or another.

the way we interprete and react to this 'love' feeling that we have is as varied as the individuals whom feel it. And ultimatly, it is these reactions and interactions we have with this basic chemical reaction which dictate how we feel with it.

is Love worth it?
Yes it is, but one must always realize that Love, like Hope, is also one of the most painful emotions one can feel.

Love can easily make rational logical individuals blindly charge forward head strong and cock sure with out question or consideration. Its pure ability to simply over ride the most basic ingrained desires of the human mind and allow individuals to willingly suffer through untold pain for it can be scary at times. But the rewards people can be given for it are just as awe inspiring as the faults are intimidating, what with companionship, understanding, and a sense of belonging it can give people strength to trudge forward on paths not considered, overcome burdens which are normally impossible, and push forward to a future unknown.

 

[Supernovajake]

Sounds to me like you did more than you should have. Well no, as much as anyone who cared would have. There is nothing more anyone could have done.

Depression sucks. I know someone who has suffered and they have never been the same as when I first met them. Damn shame. I know fairly certainly that I've never been depressed. I've been down sure, but not depressed. I've come out on the other side with plenty confidence and happiness. Hopefully for those overcoming depression, this feeling is twofold.

As for love, why even bother trying to expain it? I can't.

 

[Ham_authority95]

A chemical reaction made for the purpose of keeping people together...?

I dunno, that's what this hopelessly romantic friend of mine keeps telling me.

Albert Einstein
"How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?"

Shit, took my answer.

OT: To compliment the above answer, I would like to say that person-person love is the hardest type to maintain and brings the most painful emotions, but is arguably worth it if you put enough effort.

 

[PorkChopXpress]

You wanna take this one Ray?

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[kypsilon]

How many cliche's do you want to live by? Did you love her? Or did you love the idea of loving her?

Whatever the case, in my own personal experience love fails because it must so that we can learn to love again. If love is the highest thing you aspire to have in this lifetime, then let it be for yourself and who you are. If you can't love yourself you won't be able to really love another.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Love: Is your brain producing happiness hormones triggered by your loved one or the mere thought of him/her, and it's intensity goes beyond any hardcore drug (cocaine or crack).
And once your special someone is gone it is a cold turkey detox, and it feels like you just lost everything of importance in your life, but you only really lost your happy pills.

Is it worth it... well it's a little like drinking, the night before you have some awesome fun and you chug a bit too many beers and the next day it's a train wreck, you are a complete mess, you regret ever going out, you promise yourself to never ever do that again,... but when the pain blows over and you get your bearings you realize there are some good experiences/memories you gained.

Word of advice, never dive too deep into your love life, always keep doing what you were doing before (family, friends, school,...), because love is unstable and extremely volatile, one word wrong and it could all go from the best time of your life to the worst possible, but there should always be a life for you to return too.
As for the depression, when you gave up all else to take care of your loved one you became the equivalent of a junky living in his own world where it's only bright when the happy pills shine, you really should never do that.

 

[Hader]

I think trying to describe it is useless; love is never the same across any population. No matter what it is, it will be unique to the persons involved.

 

[Project_Omega]

Bump. need more answers.

 

[Astoria]

Well there's a saying...don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, it hurts less. Despite being in a good relationship I have to say it's true. Love is somehow the best and worse feeling in the world but I have to say it is definitely worth every second.

As to what it is exactly, I don't have a answer but I think that's kind of the whole point. Anyway I really feel for you I can only imagine how much that would hurt.

 

[audiblemirage]

love is sacrifice, pure and simple, but it should never be without equal reward. been through hell with it, but now i have a beautiful wife and a newborn baby, i have never been this happy, nor felt this "secure" with myself or my life. whatever hardships i go through with her, it doesn't matter, if i don't like a friend or family member of hers, as far as she's concerned, i can go fuck myself, and vice versa. we are a team, we take the positive and the negative aspects of each other in stride and if we don't see eye to eye on something, we go with logic, the one who presents the most intelligent argument wins. we fight sometimes to be sure, but it's always over small things, whenever something really bad or big comes along, we work together without a conscious thought about it. i thought i was in love a few times before this, and i went through some horrible shit with relationships comparable to what you went through, things that make you question your own self worth, but i look back now and it was all trivial, just life experience. hope this helps somewhat, but if somebody puts you through things that cause depression and put you in therapy, than do you really think they love you, or ever did? sounds like you did anything and everything for this person, so why is it your fault that she would be shitty enough to put you through that? move on, be who you are, and let love find you.

 

[lee1287]

Love is never having to say you're sorry. Lol.

Loves something girls tell themselves to make them feel less slutty after banging a dude the first hour they met.

I was put on probation for that? Guess the girls at the Escapist get hurt by the truth. Tut tut.

 

[SckizoBoy]

Love can be classified by one of four categories (I'm citing CS Lewis here, in case anyone's interested).

Familial
Companion
Spiritual (or religious equivalent)
& Passionate

Think it should be fairly self explanatory.
'Passionate' is probably the type that everyone's going on about, seems like it from what I've perused, but oddly enough, probably the worst of the lot. Meh...

 

[pubbing]

Love is a decision, a choice made that you will live for someone else instead of yourself. Even if you don't feel "in love" with someone, you can, and you did, choose to still love them. Anything else is just a feeling, and feelings are created by chemical interactions in the brain; feelings never stay the same, always changing and vulnerable to outside influences. But the choosing to love, that is your choice alone. The pain comes when you give your love, but the other person just takes, never giving their love back; but the feeling of getting that kind of love in return makes the pain endurable, and the love worthwhile.

This is exactly correct. Take it from somebody who has been married for 8 years. That butterflies in love feeling is not real love. It is a human design made to make us mate. Real love is a decision that you make to be completely committed to another person. Even as that goofy in love fades and comes back again you have made a commitment to make your relationship work and keep things fresh. True love is not just a feeling, it takes a lot of work and practice.

 

[Jonluw]

I 'm of the "it's a chemical reaction designed to make us pass the species on" conviction.

As for whether it's worth it... I couldn't possibly tell you. I have never experienced it, so...

 

[MassiveGeek]

Love is essentially just a noun.

Love differs from person to person, it is impossible to pinpoit exactly what it is.
For me? Love is something that is impossible to miss, when you love someone you know, not necessarily feel, that you love them. You can't pinpoint it, you just know. And this can take many forms, it isn't limited to just romantic love. I love my family. I love my boyfriend. I love my friends. I love cats. And I'm absolutely sure of all of these.

I think the question "is love worth it" isn't really possible to answer. Is acting on love worth it though? Well, you don't know until you try. Don't hold yourself back, because "it's not the things that we did that we regret the most, but the things that we did not do."

That's probably a misquote and I can't remember where I saw it, but it was something along those lines.

As just a bit of advice... It is best not to dwell, not to let pain get to you. While pain is, from what I've observed, much more beneficial in the long run, it won't help much if you let it devour you. I'm not saying shut it in, no, I'm saying move foward no matter how much it drags you back. Just get up again, again, again, again and eventually you won't feel the weight - it will have no impact on you and then you're going to feel... well, free.

 

[Mcupobob]

You see over the last 1.3 years I have been deeply in love with a woman, she had her issues (being disabled in physical way, though her mind was brilliant) but I assured her that I would not leave her just because she is that way, I stood by her side at all times when she needed me. When her cat died, I volounteered to dig a grave, when she had a hospital appointment I was there with her, when her grandmother was in hospital I was there, when her abusive father came to visit I was there to hold her hand. We had lovely plans for the future, she was afraid of not affording university and not being able to go at all. I offered to give her the money, share some of the university money my grandad was meant to give me while insuring her its going to be okay. I gave up my friends, even my bestest friend, volountarily.

I suddenly fell into a depression, I do not know why I became so, I am speaking to a Psychiatrist to sort it out. I became weak both mentally and physically, I couldnt concentrate and all things like that. I took some anti-depression drugs which made me worse at the beggining and making me cold toward my love, I fought the feeling, tried to explain it to my beloved one as well. I thought of attempting suicide at a couple of times, falling in front of a train I took everyday. I decided to give up the drug, figuring out that this was the reason of my 'numbness' and I did. Slowly I reduced them and had strong enough will to stay off them, even during hard moments during college and returning feeling of doom and hopelessness. My depression made me think I do not love her anymore, while I stayed stubborn enough to know that I do. After I came off them I knew I loved her and felt it in my heart again. She said she does not want to take care of people, having to take care of her grandmother, being forced to in a way (but, dont we all have a choice?).

Now her also being in depression, her taking the anti-depression drugs she.... left me.... dumped me like an insignificant piece of rubbish. Over the phone, in a form of a text message. Out of all ways, letter, telegraph, bottled or even pigeon carrier. I shattered like a piece of glass, in shock at first, not even believing it happened at first. My friends that I have reunioned with have sided with me, volountarily, I have not asked them a single thing nor to break their connections to my once loved one. They have comoforted me and still do, as I am thinking I am falling into a depression yet again. However comforting my friends and family are, theres... theres something missing....

And now that you know my story, I am asking you this question....

...What is love...
...and is it worth it...

Love is a drug of the hardest degree. Its the hardest to accept and the hardest to lose. It keeps you up at night, makes your heart beat a little harder and your voice a little sweeter. Love gets thrown around a lot, and during our bleakest of times seems impossible. I'm sorry you lost her, and that you feel as if your heart as sunk into your chest. Losing a love is like carrying a scar for the rest of your life. It won't fully heal, but you feel happiness again. When you do it will feel like being alive once again. Its what makes us all human and is one of the many things that drives us as a species.

 

[Pyro Ghost]

Love is hard to explain. But from what I've seen, not a whole lot of people have experienced it. They either use each other, or are just infatuated with each other. Getting married is just something to obtain, like a new computer or a car. I've only ever met two couples that were actually in love. I've never romantically loved anyone. I can't trust anyone enough to have that kind of relationship, and because I know that, I've never tried.

 

[gg4u2]

As a cynic i would say its an overly romanticized chemical reaction in your brain
as or 'true love at first sight' i think its more physical attraction at first sight.

the concept of a soulmate is beyond idoitic in my oppinion

sorry or your loss dude but plenty more ish in the sea eh?

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

I gave up my friends, even my bestest friend, volountarily.

Now her also being in depression, her taking the anti-depression drugs she.... left me.... dumped me like an insignificant piece of rubbish. My friends that I have reunioned with have sided with me, volountarily, I have not asked them a single thing nor to break their connections to my once loved one. However comforting my friends and family are, theres... theres something missing....

You had me until you said you gave up your friends for her. Not cool. I had a friend who got married and just dumped all his old friends (myself included). It sucked. And that was just one friend. If she made you give up all your friends - including your best friend - no wonder you were considering suicide.

My partner (of 8 years) has never asked me to give up a friend. I have never asked my partner to give up a friend. That's just... wrong.

Love takes many forms. I love my friends. I love my partner. I love my family.

Someone who asks you to give up something you love to make them happy - they don't love you. Not really.

Sounds to me like you loved her, but she never loved you. People who love you don't ask you to give up your friends.

Note: I'm not saying she had to like your friends, or hang out with them, but really, you could have had a "guys day" and she could have had a "girls day" with her friends, and then everyone gets to keep their friends.

Anyway, sounds to me like you're better off. Stay strong, meet someone else, and good luck to you.

Edit: Also, chemical reaction people - yes, there is a chemical component to love. You know what - there's a chemical component to EVERYTHING WE FEEL. Neurons only function in binary, pure yes/no, like a computer. The hormones and chemicals in our brains are the source of all emotion. So yes, love is chemical. Just like pleasure, sadness, curosity, boredom, hatred, kindness, and everything else we feel. That entire line of reasoning is not helpful to the OP (because it sidesteps the issue).