I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for two years. To rectify this, I dumped him and now have a very good idea about what kind of guy to never get involved with again.
What is the greatest failure in your life and have you done anything to rectify it?
- Thread starter Shifty
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It involved a girl, it was back in 2004, and it was me essentially keeping two people in a relationship when she really wanted to be with me... and I'm working on it, like, right now. I haven't seen her for over five years, but all things considered, I might have a chance to fix everything within the next six months.
Well not a failure perse but still a very bad thing I did when I was 13, I think.
I didn't know how to act to a love letter a girl sent me. So I ate it in front of her face. Apparently making a girl cry is very easy.
I said I was sorry some years afterwards but apparently she didn't even remember that. Shows what I know.
I didn't know how to act to a love letter a girl sent me. So I ate it in front of her face. Apparently making a girl cry is very easy.
I said I was sorry some years afterwards but apparently she didn't even remember that. Shows what I know.
I flunked out of University a month ago.
I'm still in transfer Limbo, but I'm attempting to get into a different school.
I'm still in transfer Limbo, but I'm attempting to get into a different school.
I was the victim of a decent amount of bullying when I was a child, and my greatest failure was reciprocating that onto pretty much the only kid smaller and weaker than me in school. I don't believe in regrets, and I don't regret what I did because I understand fully why I did it, and for a child, the reasoning makes sense. To expect myself to have been better than that now is pointless. I've learned from it, and that's all that matters.
I would however like to apologize to the kid I abused. I don't even remember his name and I barely remember his face, but were I ever to see him again, it'd be the first thing I'd do. Not for me, because I've moved on from it long ago, but because I think he deserves the closure.
I would however like to apologize to the kid I abused. I don't even remember his name and I barely remember his face, but were I ever to see him again, it'd be the first thing I'd do. Not for me, because I've moved on from it long ago, but because I think he deserves the closure.
I failed my last semester of university because I didn't hand in three of my assignments. Uni is starting again in a few weeks but honestly, I doubt I'll put much effort in. I don't even know what I'm doing with my life. It doesn't matter what I study or what job I get. I don't enjoy anything.
Actually, my biggest failure probably happened that one time when I was younger and I was really depressed. I fell into this mindset where I couldn't imagine continuing my life. It literally felt like my chest was being crushed with despair. It was really hard to breathe or make myself do anything. I wanted to just curl into a ball and die. I came so close to killing myself that day. Then some shitty little voice in the back of my mind said "Sleep it out. You don't have to die to make this stop. Just go to sleep." I listened to it. Slept for about twenty hours and when I woke up it wasn't the end of the world anymore. I still felt pretty miserable but it wasn't manifesting itself as such severe physical symptoms anymore and I could think more clearly without feeling an overwhelming urge to just die.
Anyway, my greatest regret is not giving in to that urge. I could have killed myself then. I couldn't have given less of a crap whether it would hurt or how I would go about it. I missed my chance and, while I still want to die, now I'm all bothered about the technicalities and whether it's really necessary. Whether I won't cheer up just by making a few changes in my life, or by moving away. Fuck my pathethetic desire to cling to life. I should just die.
Actually, my biggest failure probably happened that one time when I was younger and I was really depressed. I fell into this mindset where I couldn't imagine continuing my life. It literally felt like my chest was being crushed with despair. It was really hard to breathe or make myself do anything. I wanted to just curl into a ball and die. I came so close to killing myself that day. Then some shitty little voice in the back of my mind said "Sleep it out. You don't have to die to make this stop. Just go to sleep." I listened to it. Slept for about twenty hours and when I woke up it wasn't the end of the world anymore. I still felt pretty miserable but it wasn't manifesting itself as such severe physical symptoms anymore and I could think more clearly without feeling an overwhelming urge to just die.
Anyway, my greatest regret is not giving in to that urge. I could have killed myself then. I couldn't have given less of a crap whether it would hurt or how I would go about it. I missed my chance and, while I still want to die, now I'm all bothered about the technicalities and whether it's really necessary. Whether I won't cheer up just by making a few changes in my life, or by moving away. Fuck my pathethetic desire to cling to life. I should just die.
Looking back it's hard for me to really regret anything. I have made a lot of mistakes, yes. But in the end they all come together and make me who I am today. Even the most painful memories have had something good come from them. As much as we sometimes wish some things didn't happen, they did and we just have to learn to grow from them.
Edit: cancel that, i'm regretting clicking the post button multiple times out of impatience and then seeing my post show up three times >.<
Edit: cancel that, i'm regretting clicking the post button multiple times out of impatience and then seeing my post show up three times >.<
Heh, sorry. I just like to spill my heart out here and since it's the internet I don't expect anyone to care or even notice. Thanks for your concern though. Don't feel bad.Mortai Gravesend said:
I am generally happy with where I am, so failure... really isn't the issue.
I suppose when I get older I will regret not going into my most passionate field of work which was to become an astrophysicist. The math intimidated me and you make shit pay. So I went into film/television instead. Which is fun, don't get me wrong. Its just, well its not very productive to society.
My younger self would of kicked my ass for knowing where I am today. Call me a leech upon the world for not doing something that betters the world.
Oh well, he was pretty judgmental for accomplishing nothing really himself anyway.
I suppose when I get older I will regret not going into my most passionate field of work which was to become an astrophysicist. The math intimidated me and you make shit pay. So I went into film/television instead. Which is fun, don't get me wrong. Its just, well its not very productive to society.
My younger self would of kicked my ass for knowing where I am today. Call me a leech upon the world for not doing something that betters the world.
Oh well, he was pretty judgmental for accomplishing nothing really himself anyway.
Wish I had transitioned earlier (mtf trans). Wish I had the courage of when I was in middle school to just start wearing dresses and not letting my mother cut my hair short when she was complaining that I looked like a girl. I was living in Texas so there was the very real possibility I could have gotten beaten badly, but people were already treading me bad anyway. Also I tried to end my life many times then so the will to survive wasn't very high.
The school also had a rule that crossdressing would result in expulsion (though girls could dress boyish without reprecussion). I'm sure I could have challenged it on the grounds of it being discrimination but being straight A student fearful of parents I was too much of a coward.
I would have made for a very cute and passing girl since I didn't really experience much of puberty till I was late teens.
Also I remember when my sister was pushing to have me dress as a girl for Halloween but I chickened out due to a) I was living in texas at the time (might have gotten beaten up or killed... well likely) b)my mom was standing right there and we had an argument over me wanting to be a girl a year prior c) my hair had been cut short. Funny how the dress she recommended that I wear I had already worn tons of times without her knowing. Still will never forgive myself.
I did start hormones at age 23 and look like your typical nerdy bookworm girl with glasses. So I did transition young but.... not young enough in my eyes.. wish I could have had my teen years to be myself. So I will never forgive myself to the day I die.
Also I botched early relationships due to being depressed, shy and clingy. A lot of this harkens back to forced to live as a boy.
This other one seems stupid but to me I am so angry at myself. I wish I took up piano earlier. I've been learning piano in my 20's self taught, trying to do at least an hour a day of practice but it nags at me how much better I would have been if I started when I was a kid. My parents just had the TV on all day and I watched tons of tv shows that I didn't even like back then. The comedies were never funny. The cartoons were never entertaining. But yet, I sat there watching garbage due to nothing else to do and parents not being able to afford piano lessons due to pumping out too many kids. I did read a ton and do a ton of writing, but still a lot of hours wasted on tv and playing really garbage games for upteenth time. I quit tv some years ago but I wasted so much of my life with it.
(My family was the sort that left the tv on even when no one was in the room just in case someone wanted to watch it. My mom is perplexed how could I ever give up tv)
The school also had a rule that crossdressing would result in expulsion (though girls could dress boyish without reprecussion). I'm sure I could have challenged it on the grounds of it being discrimination but being straight A student fearful of parents I was too much of a coward.
I would have made for a very cute and passing girl since I didn't really experience much of puberty till I was late teens.
Also I remember when my sister was pushing to have me dress as a girl for Halloween but I chickened out due to a) I was living in texas at the time (might have gotten beaten up or killed... well likely) b)my mom was standing right there and we had an argument over me wanting to be a girl a year prior c) my hair had been cut short. Funny how the dress she recommended that I wear I had already worn tons of times without her knowing. Still will never forgive myself.
I did start hormones at age 23 and look like your typical nerdy bookworm girl with glasses. So I did transition young but.... not young enough in my eyes.. wish I could have had my teen years to be myself. So I will never forgive myself to the day I die.
Also I botched early relationships due to being depressed, shy and clingy. A lot of this harkens back to forced to live as a boy.
This other one seems stupid but to me I am so angry at myself. I wish I took up piano earlier. I've been learning piano in my 20's self taught, trying to do at least an hour a day of practice but it nags at me how much better I would have been if I started when I was a kid. My parents just had the TV on all day and I watched tons of tv shows that I didn't even like back then. The comedies were never funny. The cartoons were never entertaining. But yet, I sat there watching garbage due to nothing else to do and parents not being able to afford piano lessons due to pumping out too many kids. I did read a ton and do a ton of writing, but still a lot of hours wasted on tv and playing really garbage games for upteenth time. I quit tv some years ago but I wasted so much of my life with it.
(My family was the sort that left the tv on even when no one was in the room just in case someone wanted to watch it. My mom is perplexed how could I ever give up tv)
Being unable to save a friend of mine from being raped.
Not really much I could do to rectify it, except help her move on from it, which has been fairly successful.
Not really much I could do to rectify it, except help her move on from it, which has been fairly successful.
Thank you all for adding to this thread. I can see its kinda coming to a close (as these things do) I will say I am a mixed bag after reading these posts. Many are sad but lots have a great deal of hope. I even recognized a few other mistakes I made myself in what was written.
Please feel free to add more and I hope you reading this now has seen that there is a bit of a light at the end of the tunnel and the world is not complete shit.
Please feel free to add more and I hope you reading this now has seen that there is a bit of a light at the end of the tunnel and the world is not complete shit.