What is the worst thing you have been accused/punished for when you weren't actually the culprit?

manic_depressive13

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Dec 28, 2008
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My grandmother is legally blind but still likes to pretend she can see. Once my mother gave her some money in case she ever needed to send someone on an errand to the nearby bakery for bread and milk or something, because it's a very small bakery and you can't pay by card. The next day my grandmother bursts into my room screaming that I had stolen her two $50 notes and replaced them with $20 notes.

Yeah lady, like I'm going to pull such an elaborate crime when I could have just taken all the money and claimed you lost it if I really wanted to. Which I wouldn't, because I have my own money. It doesn't seem like much but my grandmother's going senile and she kept carrying on about it even after my mother told her they were $20 notes to begin with.
 

Folksoul

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May 15, 2010
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I was accused being a rapist by some dumb b*tch I'd never met before, in a parking lot. It's actually kind of funny.

I had a benign tumor removed from my skull, just under my left eye. After I was released from the hospital I was at my local pharmacy getting some antibiotics and painkillers. The stitched-up incision still slightly bleeding and most of my face was swollen. I get my meds and start towards the door when this lady near me looks uncomfortable and starts speed walking away from me. Through sheer coincidence we parked next to each other. So I ask her what her problem is and she just SCREAMS
"I don't know what you must have done to that girl but you probably deserved it."

So I got the immeasurable pleasure of telling the "concerned women's rights activist" that it was in fact surgery to remove a tumor and not "getting what I deserved from some woman I had abused" using increasingly furious tone and vulgar words. Then I called her a judgmental c*nt and went about my business.
 

Veldel

Mitth'raw'nuruodo
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Apr 28, 2010
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so the police knocked on my door one day and wanted to take me downtown said I had beaten the fuck out of a small child so i was being charged with battery.

I never touched the kid. In the end he confesses that he let his brothers beat him senseless so that they could frame me and have me taken away... because they don't like me
 

V TheSystem V

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Sep 11, 2009
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When I was 10, I was walking home with my friend when a kid two years younger than us started pushing me around and pushed me into the road in front of cars coming down my road. I said jokingly 'You trying to impress my friend or something?' and he punched me in the face. I punched him in the face and he fell to the ground, whereupon I kicked him in the side. Unfortunately, his aunt and grandmother were in a car in front of me, saw it, and chased me to my house, where they bombarded my mother with lies about how I'd beat him up unprovoked and kicked him in the head. Took a lot of clearing up the next day with the deputy head (I was told that the police would have been informed if it wasn't for my mum and I going down the school to explain it all) and all I had to do was apologise to the kid.

Never been accused of a lot really, always have a solid alibi.
 

mortalsatsuma

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Nov 24, 2009
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Yesterday, for the first time ever, i knocked over a guys drink whilst cleaning yo a drink he had knocked over previously at the bar I worked at. I got him a fresh one, free of charge apologized etc but he began insisting that i had broken his phone's screen even though i couldn't have as the glass fell directly forward and the phone was directly to the right of it. After a bit of back and forth: "You broke it!" "No I didn't" etc, my boss steps in and the guy finally admits that it had already been broken before the spill. apparently he wanted to try and claim on the bar's insurance to get his phone fixed. Needless to say, My boss was not happy with him.
 

Cabo Setek

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Jan 3, 2012
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During high school, I was accused of plagiarizing a history report. The ONLY funny part about this being that so was the rest of the class. The ***** of a teacher even had the gall to start crying about all of us cheating, which was BS. I've never cheated on anything school-related in my life.

Afterwards, everyone was called to the vice-principal's office to explain themselves, but not like it helped. It was the c*nt's word against ours, and she was the teacher and we're a bunch of cheating no-goodniks.

The worst part of it all was, in addition to saturday detention and (obviously) an F, I, and everyone accused, received a -100 for the report. That's right, not only did she falsely accuse me of cheating, she went so far as to deduct points from my grade for it. After doing some calculations, I surmised that, at best, I would fail with a very high F.

Needless to say, I ceased caring about that class, never bothering to do the homework, pay attention, or attempt to pass a test. For the rest of that semester, I cursed her name under my breath, and constantly wished for her painful, torturous death. I had to retake the semester the following year.

The only redeeming part? At the end of the year, she had us fill out evaluation reports of the class. I took this opportunity to clearly and in no uncertain terms, insult, deride, and generally say horrible things to her. Do I regret that last part? Never.
 

Elgnirp100

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Jan 18, 2012
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Racism

I was reported for saying four racist comments to a colleague.
I will admit I did say two of them but the other two were utter bullcrap.
 

Phasmal

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Jun 10, 2011
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I'm not usually accused of much. I was accused of cheating by my ex, but luckily nobody believed him for long.

Also, in the last year of school I had written an essay I was really proud of and my teacher accused me of getting it off of the internet- because there was a word in the essay she didn't think I was smart enough to spell. The word was stereotyping. I got up and wrote it on the board and she said no more about it.
 

r3dc0br4

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Sep 12, 2009
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I was accused of being a terrorist and plotting to kill people at my high school. Obviously I wasnt actually going to do it, but some idiot started a rumor that had nothing to do with that sort of thing at all (this was my freshman year, mind) and eventually the teachers who overheard it twisted it into some plot to shoot up the school.

They sent me to a counselor without telling me why and didnt find out until a couple weeks later of what I was being accused of. The second my parents found out, I was pulled out of the school because the teachers were giving me crap and the administration was lying to me and my mother.
 

Gabanuka

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Oct 1, 2009
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Well recently someone's be spreading a rumour that I'm planning on bringing a bomb into school on my last day. For some reason teachers believed this and now my Mum is involved. I'm planning on placing some Pokeballs in my bag on the last day to really confuse whoever searching it.
 

Vamantha

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Aug 2, 2011
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Breaking another students leg in 4th grade. It was easily sorted out, but it scared the crap out of me. The principal was really nice about it. He was pretty awesome overall. Another girl had broken the kids leg and we just happened to share the same first name. Can't blame him for going to me first. I already had a very violent record by that point.
 

Vamantha

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Aug 2, 2011
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Gabanuka said:
Well recently someone's be spreading a rumour that I'm planning on bringing a bomb into school on my last day. For some reason teachers believed this and now my Mum is involved. I'm planning on placing some Pokeballs in my bag on the last day to really confuse whoever searching it.
Oh, no! Pok'ebombs! x3
 

redisforever

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Oct 5, 2009
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Stealing money, breaking shit, and so on. What actually happens: Mom loses a $5 bill, sister drops something, or cat decides to tackle a lamp. Yeah, boring life.
 

DaMan1500

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Jul 10, 2009
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I had an arguement with my college roomate, so in retaliation he told campus police I was planning to attack the school. Now I can't go to another college until 2013.
 

Heronblade

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Apr 12, 2011
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Illegally downloading about 500 GB worth of copyrighted porn.

Fortunately I was able to prove that the mac address on my computer did not match up with the one used by the creepily horny asshole who downloaded from my supposedly secure network before the suit went anywhere.

Gabanuka said:
Well recently someone's be spreading a rumour that I'm planning on bringing a bomb into school on my last day. For some reason teachers believed this and now my Mum is involved. I'm planning on placing some Pokeballs in my bag on the last day to really confuse whoever searching it.
bad idea. The people most likely to be searching your bag for explosives tend to have a cauterized sense of humor and zero patience for practical jokes.
 

SkullKing84

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Feb 10, 2011
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Accused of sexual harassment.

I reported my boss to HR, sexually harassing the women i worked with. The next week, i got fired for sexual harassment... exactly what I reported. After i got fired they questioned me about it. Turned out my boss was sleeping with half the staff... he got fired within the week when they found out. And no, i wasn't rehired.
 

RustlessPotato

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Aug 17, 2009
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I actually was accused of having taken advantage of a girl who is in my class when she was drunk... We had mutual friends that were going to this party. And they introduced us to eachother. We got a bit drunk (not smashed, just the feeling you get after a few beers, maybe the word is tipsy ?) and hit it off pretty well. Talked, she laughed at my corny jokes and I swear it was only 30% pitty.

We danced, I showed off my rock'n'roll skills =D and then I walked her home where she asked me if I wanted to go upstairs. I said yes and stayed the night. When we both woke up we had breakfast and then I had to go home to get some stuff for class ( We only had class from 12 o' clock). When we saw eachother again she freaked and accused me of those stuff :/. Luckily nothing serious happened like lawsuits
 

Gabanuka

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Oct 1, 2009
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Heronblade said:
Illegally downloading about 500 GB worth of copyrighted porn.

Fortunately I was able to prove that the mac address on my computer did not match up with the one used by the creepily horny asshole who downloaded from my supposedly secure network before the suit went anywhere.

Gabanuka said:
Well recently someone's be spreading a rumour that I'm planning on bringing a bomb into school on my last day. For some reason teachers believed this and now my Mum is involved. I'm planning on placing some Pokeballs in my bag on the last day to really confuse whoever searching it.
bad idea. The people most likely to be searching your bag for explosives tend to have a cauterized sense of humor and zero patience for practical jokes.
They're teachers not police. How do you think they'd feel about a goldfish in a bag?
 

Zipa

batlh bIHeghjaj.
Dec 19, 2010
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Mine is sort of gaming related.
I got accused of plotting to seize control of a MMO guild I was in and was booted from said guild for attempting to do so while I was on vacation in another country without reliable internet access.
Pretty funny really.

Other than that nothing worth mentioning.