What is this present?

[Elfgore]

My friends are giving this kid in marching band a present for his birthday tomorow. It is 7 feet tall and is about 500 pounds. Do any of you have guesses on what it could be? I have no idea at all what it could be.

 

[Sinclair Solutions]

Shaquille O'Neil?

Or maybe a model of Michelangelo's David.

I don't know. You got me.

 

[Sassafrass]

Well, it's obvious.

They hate him, so they wrapped up The Big Show from WWE to kick his ass.

 

[Sticky Squid]

Well, it's obvious.

They hate him, so they wrapped up The Big Show from WWE to kick his ass.

My God it all makes sense now.

 

[FreakSheet]

If it was me, I'd put a $50 bill in there.

and I guess lots of rocks.

 

[Sinclair Solutions]

If it was me, I'd put a $50 bill in there.

and I guess lots of rocks.

Wait a minute...is this you?

Spoiler

 

[Dr Snakeman]

Someone frozen in carbonite?

No, that can't be it...

 

[omega_peaches]

A whole box of pennies?

 

[HumpinHop]

Holy shit! They're giving him MASTER CHIEF!

This is too epic a response to not be the OP.

I call /thread.

 

[FreakSheet]

If it was me, I'd put a $50 bill in there.

and I guess lots of rocks.

Wait a minute...is this you?

Spoiler

No no no no no no. Of course not.

My smile goes the other way.

 

[Dango]

A giant cookie.

 

[Biosophilogical]

Holy shit! They're giving him MASTER CHIEF!

This is too epic a response to not be the OP.

I call /thread.

Agreed.

OT: A box of rulers, measuring tapes and scales that use the metric system?

 

[thedeathscythe]

A bowflex or something? They're heavy and pretty tall. Could be maybe a piano? Like an older baby grand piano, those taller ones. They are only about 5 feet generally but who knows.