What is wrong with me?

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

Yesterday I started college(sixth form, but outside of my school) and I'd thought that I would be overjoyed; Year 11 was a long slog of exams and coursework, and by March, I was done with going to school; after I got my direct offer to the college I wanted to go, I was overjoyed that I could begin a new chapter of my life(albeit a short, two-year one).

But after two days of college, I feel strange; I don't feel happy about going to college, and when I am there, it feels like something is wrong, but I am not sure what.

I have a group of quasi-friends from my school that also got into the same college, so it's not loneliness per se(though I still feel like an outsider, but I have learnt to deal with that long ago).

It could be that I am tired, as I have to get to college every day by 9AM(save for Friday, which starts at 10AM), also for Monday, I had no lessons until the very last period, so I was also bored, but I don't think it is that, as tiredness just makes more bone-idle than usual.

So I have no idea why I get this strange feeling there; it's definitely not positive, as it feels discomforting.

So, fellow Escapists, do you have any idea why I am acting/feeling weird?

 

[Colour Scientist]

It could just be the change.

Sometimes it takes a bit of time to settle into a new situation, especially if it's a relatively dramatic life change.

It has only been a couple of days so I'm sure that after a few more days or weeks, you'll start feeling a bit more comfortable.

Hopefully, anyway!

 

[KarmaTheAlligator]

Maybe it's just you haven't started the course proper (i.e. what you want to do), so it's not very exciting yet. Give it a couple of weeks, see how it goes. It could also be that you managed to over-hype yourself on what college life is supposed to be like, and now you've seen that it's not all it's cracked up to be (for reference, it's not college I enjoyed, although that was OK, it's the time spent with my friends that makes college a nice memory).

 

[Catfood220]

And in time, you will find that the free time you have on a Monday and Friday will become very useful for you to work on any homework or coursework that you have to do.

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

And in time, you will find that the free time you have on a Monday and Friday will become very useful for you to work on any homework or coursework that you have to do.

True, but yesterday was still an incredibly long slog of a day.

Also waking up at the same time I would wake up for school(7:45AM, but the buses I take differ in transit time) is also a pain in the ass.

 

[farscythe]

snip

eh for the sake of being the pain in the ass old fart
you're what? 16 ish now? (im a bit rusty with my ages for college) how many of the things/places you really used to look forward to still feel right?

(hell in my case nothing felt right somehow) ... and on that note as i kinda forgot what i was trying to say...

i'll agree with the people above..give it a few weeks to get you're bearings.. it will probably pass and start being good

tldr : college is a wierd time of your life...it takes some getting used to

 

[Catfood220]

And in time, you will find that the free time you have on a Monday and Friday will become very useful for you to work on any homework or coursework that you have to do.

True, but yesterday was still an incredibly long slog of a day.

Also waking up at the same time I would wake up for school(7:45AM, but the buses I take differ in transit time) is also a pain in the ass.

In fairness, when you start working you will probably have to wake up to be in work for the same time every day anyway so its a good habit to get into. Most people don't like getting up early, I hate it myself.

And yeah, time is going to drag if you have nothing to do. I say give it at least a month or 2, once your classes pick up and you start to become friends with the people in your classes you will probably end up loving it.

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

And in time, you will find that the free time you have on a Monday and Friday will become very useful for you to work on any homework or coursework that you have to do.

True, but yesterday was still an incredibly long slog of a day.

Also waking up at the same time I would wake up for school(7:45AM, but the buses I take differ in transit time) is also a pain in the ass.

In fairness, when you start working you will probably have to wake up to be in work for the same time every day anyway so its a good habit to get into. Most people don't like getting up early, I hate it myself.

And yeah, time is going to drag if you have nothing to do. I say give it at least a month or 2, once your classes pick up and you start to become friends with the people in your classes you will probably end up loving it.

I suppose so.

This was just weird because this feels different to the "new atmosphere" feel that I thought I would get.

Thank you for your comments!

 

[shootthebandit]

A level was ok for me. I moved from scotland to england before my A-levels so i started with no friends. Its just the attitude you take. If you go in positively you will enjoy it. But then again i like change i dont like stay in one place for too long. You might be more affraid of change

 

[Stasisesque]

I can't really offer a solution, but I can say I felt exactly the same way as you when I attended college. There's just something about it that didn't sit right with me, I think it was the pseudo-freedom we got as students while still being able to be punished. It just didn't feel right. I tried college twice, and managed to stick it out just long enough the second time to get to the exams, but the entire time I felt completely out of place.

University suits me much better, if you are looking to attend University I would advise sticking with college.

 

[Erana]

There's this common phenomena, found particularly in bright and gifted individuals, in which they're so burnt out from going through an excessive system of education that, when they finally do reach something that's supposed to be at their level, they have a hard time giving a damn, if education ever interested them in the first place. I don't know as much about things outside of the American education system, so how this reflects your age and current educational situation is not my place to say.

No matter what, just make the best of it and, if you're getting bored or frustrated, find somewhere you can fit in. Try taking up some kind of club or extracurricular activity. There's something strangely soothing about being a part of something in college, but not having grades hanging over your head.

 

[Stasisesque]

I don't know as much about things outside of the American education system, so how this reflects your age and current educational situation is not my place to say.

College in the UK is not the same as college in the US. What we call college is separate from University, and would perhaps be more relative to community college in the USA. However, you can also take your A-Levels (I suppose similar to SATs?) at college rather than remaining at school.

 

[Dr. Doomsduck]

Yesterday I started college(sixth form, but outside of my school) and I'd thought that I would be overjoyed; Year 11 was a long slog of exams and coursework, and by March, I was done with going to school; after I got my direct offer to the college I wanted to go, I was overjoyed that I could begin a new chapter of my life(albeit a short, two-year one).

But after two days of college, I feel strange; I don't feel happy about going to college, and when I am there, it feels like something is wrong, but I am not sure what.

I have a group of quasi-friends from my school that also got into the same college, so it's not loneliness per se(though I still feel like an outsider, but I have learnt to deal with that long ago).

It could be that I am tired, as I have to get to college every day by 9AM(save for Friday, which starts at 10AM), also for Monday, I had no lessons until the very last period, so I was also bored, but I don't think it is that, as tiredness just makes more bone-idle than usual.

So I have no idea why I get this strange feeling there; it's definitely not positive, as it feels discomforting.

So, fellow Escapists, do you have any idea why I am acting/feeling weird?

Do you find your classes interesting? Is the subject-matter something that grips you? Because in my experience, that's very important (well, not 100% of them, but at least a significant proportion). It could very well be that you need to get used to a new rhythm though. Heaven knows I was miserable the first month during my first year due to homesickness, a lack of stability and a general inability to cook. I liked the people, but social interaction was very tiresome in the beginning (5 years down the line we're still close, so don't sweat it on that). My best advice is to give it a go for at least two months or so, and if it still feels like crap, start thinking about alternatives.

 

[TWRule]

Yesterday I started college(sixth form, but outside of my school) and I'd thought that I would be overjoyed; Year 11 was a long slog of exams and coursework, and by March, I was done with going to school; after I got my direct offer to the college I wanted to go, I was overjoyed that I could begin a new chapter of my life(albeit a short, two-year one).

But after two days of college, I feel strange; I don't feel happy about going to college, and when I am there, it feels like something is wrong, but I am not sure what.

I have a group of quasi-friends from my school that also got into the same college, so it's not loneliness per se(though I still feel like an outsider, but I have learnt to deal with that long ago).

It could be that I am tired, as I have to get to college every day by 9AM(save for Friday, which starts at 10AM), also for Monday, I had no lessons until the very last period, so I was also bored, but I don't think it is that, as tiredness just makes more bone-idle than usual.

So I have no idea why I get this strange feeling there; it's definitely not positive, as it feels discomforting.

So, fellow Escapists, do you have any idea why I am acting/feeling weird?

Well, loneliness probably is a factor here, but I have a question for you - do you have a really clear sense of direction that lead you to be in this program? I mean, do you have a clear sense of what your over-arching, long term goals are, and how this program is necessary to achieve them? If you do have such goals, do you have strong convictions about them, or are you kind of lukewarm, or maybe doubtful about whether they are worth devoting yourself to?

Doubts anywhere in here can lead to a sense of directionlessness and boredom/emptiness, which will in turn propagate loneliness. You need to reflect on these things and reach out to people you trust to talk them over, if you haven't sufficiently done so already.

 

[Angie7F]

i think you are tired from the change of environment.
Once you get to know the people and environment you might feel better

 

[akai]

OK, I am not familiar with UK colleges (in my country you graduate from high school and move on straight to university) but I can relate to what you are saying. My first days at university were not easy either, I was in a new city and I didn't know anyone, but pretty soon it got easier, so don't worry about that. A lot of people need help with their studies and they want to exchange information, so gradually they start hanging out with each other more and they get to know each other better; that's how I made some of my best friends. You can spend a lot of quality time with people between the lectures. Just being surrounded by people who are interested in the same things as you are is pretty great, don't you think? As for the curriculum, you just have to be a little patient, I'm sure you'll come to enjoy your lessons, just give it a few weeks, two days is way too early to draw any conclusions. I know the whole thing is a big change and that is definitely hard to deal with at first, but try to be open to new experiences and you'll come to enjoy your college years.

 

[Strazdas]

you were going to school full of exams and you said it was a "long slog of exams and coursework". in college, you have more exams and coursework. could it be that collecge simply isnt as good as you hyped it up for yourself inside your head? I know thats what happened the first year i went to Uni. and then i learnt to treat it as a place i go to get knowledge and thats it.
ALso since you got same friends from school, this coudl further attribute to the attitude of "nothing changed".
If your profile is correct, you seem to be 16. In my country you would continue to go to school for the next 3 years anyway.

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

you were going to school full of exams and you said it was a "long slog of exams and coursework". in college, you have more exams and coursework. could it be that collecge simply isnt as good as you hyped it up for yourself inside your head? I know thats what happened the first year i went to Uni. and then i learnt to treat it as a place i go to get knowledge and thats it.
ALso since you got same friends from school, this coudl further attribute to the attitude of "nothing changed".
If your profile is correct, you seem to be 16. In my country you would continue to go to school for the next 3 years anyway.

O kur tai butu? Lietuvoj? (translation: and where would that be, Lithuania)

 

[Strazdas]

you were going to school full of exams and you said it was a "long slog of exams and coursework". in college, you have more exams and coursework. could it be that collecge simply isnt as good as you hyped it up for yourself inside your head? I know thats what happened the first year i went to Uni. and then i learnt to treat it as a place i go to get knowledge and thats it.
ALso since you got same friends from school, this coudl further attribute to the attitude of "nothing changed".
If your profile is correct, you seem to be 16. In my country you would continue to go to school for the next 3 years anyway.

O kur tai butu? Lietuvoj? (translation: and where would that be, Lithuania)

As you can see from my profile - yes, Lithuania.
(Taip)

 

[TheKangaroos]

-Snip-

I don't think this is unusual at all honestly. I've felt the exact same way - sometimes for as long as a couple of months - going into a new situation such as starting college/uni/work/moving to a different city. It's perfectly natural and by now I'm used to it. It's a breaking in period and it'll soon dissapate, either because you'll become a little more socially active or at the very least, you'll naturally adapt to your new circumstances and it'll no longer feel alien to you.