What the hell, ladies!?

[mythlover20]

They might actually be there to be with their FRIENDS, not to be picked up by some random bloke.

Ever thought of that?

That said, I have the opposite problem, I usually end up in the corner sipping my own drink because no one would talk to me. And I LOVE dancing! Just look at my Avatar!!!

PS I'm female. And when i go out I go out to be with my friends. Mostly because we live so far away and we almost never get to see each other. That said, I'm the fat one in the group, so no one ever talks to me anyway. They always grab my friends, those rare times that we're in the same place at the same time. It's rather annoying.

 

[mythlover20]

Though I'm not sexist by any means, I just have to say it:

The world beyond the kitchen is a strange place.

ASS. >(

 

[Terminal Blue]

It's an etiquette thing.

Point 1: If people are not already dancing, you don't generally ask them to dance with you. Unless you're the hottest thing to walk the earth, it's a bit predatory to just approach someone and ask them to dance with you alone.

Contrary to many men's expectations, most women hate being approached out of the blue. It takes a pretty low self-esteem to be impressed by that, really.

Point 2: Speaking in generalizations, if someone actively wants you to talk to them they will at least try to make eye contact. If you haven't made eye contact with someone, don't assume it's cool to just go up and talk to them. I would go so far as to call this the golden rule of not being a predatory bastard.

If you like someone, make sure you glance at them a lot (don't stare) and see if your eyes ever meet. If they do, and she doesn't immediately break eye contact or flinch away, then it might be acceptable to approach her.

Point 3: Relatively few people actually like dancing with people they don't already know.

Heck, I love dancing and I'm actually quite good at it, I still hate dancing with other people unless I'm already quite relaxed with them. It completely kills the experience.

 

[TheDooD]

It's an etiquette thing.

Point 1: If people are not already dancing, you don't generally ask them to dance with you. Unless you're the hottest thing to walk the earth, it's a bit predatory to just approach someone and ask them to dance with you alone.

Contrary to many men's expectations, most women hate being approached out of the blue. It takes a pretty low self-esteem to be impressed by that, really.

Point 2: Speaking in generalizations, if someone actively wants you to talk to them they will at least try to make eye contact. If you haven't made eye contact with someone, don't assume it's cool to just go up and talk to them. I would go so far as to call this the golden rule of not being a predatory bastard.

If you like someone, make sure you glance at them a lot (don't stare) and see if your eyes ever meet. If they do, and she doesn't immediately break eye contact or flinch away, then it might be acceptable to approach her.

Point 3: Relatively few people actually like dancing with people they don't already know.

Heck, I love dancing and I'm actually quite good at it, I still hate dancing with other people unless I'm already quite relaxed with them. It completely kills the experience.

The first one is semi true only if point the 2nd works. Point 2 is basic school yard eye play and it works 60% of the time roughly. finally the 3rd a have quite a bit of experience with because I had a few GF's with a dance background and they're normally very shy about dancing out of the blue until it's with friends or a performance.

Yet I kinda agree with the OP clubs are loud, shit can jump off, fights can break out. It's kinda weird to just see somebody just sitting around and not doing something unless they're a bouncer scoping the area or a cop. Overall it's just weird that a good looking woman would just dress up to look gorgeous to go to a damp, musty, loud club just to stand around. Hell I seen girls dress up to go to the Supermarket and they strut their stuff. Hell that person that watching the cams basically gets a show. I find more reason for a reason to do this then the latter because they know they're gonna get seen. Back to the OP's point he been scoping many different woman that have been doing the same thing and as human nature he wants to learn why they're acting in such a fashion. I can't stand looking at a woman look bored and or sad. So I always try to strike up some conversation so I can make'em smile. If that's somehow wrong these days then well damn simply don't put yourself out there like that...

 

[ADDLibrarian]

Like many have stated, if you ask them and they don't want to dance, they don't want to dance. Just leave them alone. That's not "weird"; maybe they just want to hang out with their girlfriends. They don't owe you anything. If you're looking to meet people, a club or bar is not the place to do it. Try joining a class or find singles groups that do things together. Book discussion groups, churches, sites like gk2gk.com or fishinthesea.com-you have lots of options, man.

 

[shitoutonme]

I like how I received a warning for my previous post, and yet, the girl who said "fuck you" to me received no warning.

 

[shitoutonme]

I like how I received a warning for my previous post, and yet, the girl who said "fuck you" to me received no warning.

Awesome moderating, guys.

EDIT: Sorry, meant to click the edit button.

 

[Rin Little]

Why does this matter to you that much? Let them be miserable if they're being miserable and find people who actually enjoy being out and dancing at a club. There, it's that simple.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

The only time I go out anywhere near dancing is not normally by choice.

 

[funkzillabot]

@Shitoutonme
I'm a woman, so I'm going to explain to you how things work.

Women HATE whiny men!

Is that clear? It's unattractive and a total turn off. Coming back home and bitching online (on a gamesite) about how hateful women are, is pathetic. I'm more then sure that YOU walked up to the snobbiest group of the women in the whole damn place, didn't you? Each of them blonde, skinny, wearing the latest fashions -- Am I right? That is why YOU ARE AN IDIOT! There was no way of approaching a group of women like that and expecting anything other then a rejection of the harshest kind. They are under no obligation to speak with you, let along dance with you. Remember that.

1.) What did you say? Did you come up with something funny or cleaver? Or did you say something stupid and rude?
2.) How did you walk up to them? Did you walk up with confidence or did you have a chip on your shoulder? Or worst yet desperation?
3.) What were YOU wearing? T-shirt with stripes? Old smelly sneakers? Which sends a clear message to everyone that you didn't make much of an effort and don't care about your appearance.


Women want to see men make an effort. If you don't make an effort, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET LAID! Is that clear?


SO, WHAT COULD YOU HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY?

1.) NO WHINING (It's annoying and so unsexy.)
No bitterness, no politics, no religion, no attitude, no assholes, no bullshit. I personally cannot stand a man that whines. When I meet a man, the first thing that he says guides the rest of the conversation. If he's funny, cleaver, do we share a common interest? If yes, we're going to get along great. But, if he just came over to be an ASSHOLE or to prove some point -- that has nothing to do with me. That's childish and save that sort of behavior for your mom. Or go home and hide under the bed, because the world is cruel.


2.) CONFIDENCE
What do you want out of this? Do you want to meet women? Do you want a friend? Do you want to talk? Do you want to get laid? Once YOU understand what your own motivations are, then you can proceed from that point. Whatever it is YOU are looking for, women are already 10 steps ahead of you -- DEAL WITH IT! -- that's just how it is. That's why it's important to know what YOU want. That way, the confidence you display will make it clear to others who might be looking for the same thing.


3.) THE ART OF CONVERSATION
My God, the most important thing. If you cannot or don't know to speak well with another people in order to communicate your intentions, than be prepared to be SEXLESS and living with your mom for the rest of your life. When you deal with the opposite sex, for the purpose of "romance", you are basically making a non-verbal agreement between the two of you -- whether you know it or not. You are communicating to another what type of Person / Lover you are. So when you walk over to a woman (a total stranger) , with a fucking chip on you shoulder -- What you are actually communicating is? "I am an asshole. I am not worthy of your time. I'm not really interest in you or getting to know you. I'm just here to waste your time and act like a dick, until someone better comes along." Sound familiar, does it?

So next time. I want you, Padawan Learner, to apply these 3 things I've listed above, come back onto this forum site and show me SUCCESS. No more whining. Ok. I want to see Bold and Decisive -- now go get'em, kid!!!

/Class dismissed
(It's easy to blame others, but not look at the 3 fingers pointing back at self)

 

[TheSmokingFox]

What makes you think that every girl in a club wants to get with a guy? A lot of the time, a group of girls on a night out together will literally just be having a girls night out. We're socialising with each other, not with guys like you.

We don't have to dance with guys to have fun. I can't believe you're that stupid.

I'm sorry, this wasn't an attempt to be sexist, I (and i believe generally people) go to clubs to do something other than what they would do anyway, like dance, meet people and have a good time. These VERY SPECIFIC individuals (which are women) are not doing that. we hit on girls because thats what we are there to do and we assume that if you are at a club to then you are at least semi-interesting in talking to people you don't know and enjoying that. Assuming we believe that girls can only have fun by dancing makes you stupid, we are simply saying that at a club is it not fun/apropriate to try and dance with someone you don't know to have a good time.

We also go on guys nights out, we call them nights out. in which standing in a corner doing nothing is not a part of. please stop being so self-righteous and rude about things you clearly misunderstand.

Meeting new people and enjoying something done with them is good right? and is kind of the point in being in a public place designed for socializing I.E clubs, pubs, bars etc etc. Just because you are out with your friends doesn't mean you should avoid other people, if this is what you are going to do, don't go to a f*cking NIGHT CLUB!

If you can't stand people not talking to you when they have a perfect right not to, then get over it or don't go out in public.

You're the self-righteous one. Oh no, how DARE they go to a nightclub and not want to talk to a horribly self-entitled person like you! Can't just let them do what they want, that would be too much trouble.

Well, that was a little personal. I am sorry to see my comments making you so offended you think you can talk down to me like i am scum. I apologise if my comment sounded self-righteous or self-obsessed, my intent was not to offend. I'd love to reply to what you said but, i can't really see any point being made. Other than that i am a disgusting human being. I didn't think i said that any individual HAS to talk to any other individual. My point was that if you go to a nightclub, atleast try to be friendly and/or reciprocate any friendliness show to you.

And, erm, BTW I really couldn't care less about who doesn't want to talk to me. Besides if a persons idea of a 'Night out' is too go with a group of friends into a crowded place, and then speak only with those people, and then leave with only tohse people. i don't want to talk to them.

Sorry to make you so angry, but you may have gone a little far. You could try being a little less personal and full of hate next time, instead just make your point.

 

[TheSmokingFox]

@Shitoutonme
I'm a woman, so I'm going to explain to you how things work.

Women HATE whiny men!

Is that clear? It's unattractive and a total turn off. Coming back home and bitching online (on a gamesite) about how hateful women are, is pathetic. I'm more then sure that YOU walked up to the snobbiest group of the women in the whole damn place, didn't you? Each of them blonde, skinny, wearing the latest fashions -- Am I right? That is why YOU ARE AN IDIOT! There was no way of approaching a group of women like that and expecting anything other then a rejection of the harshest kind. They are under no obligation to speak with you, let along dance with you. Remember that.

1.) What did you say? Did you come up with something funny or cleaver? Or did you say something stupid and rude?
2.) How did you walk up to them? Did you walk up with confidence or did you have a chip on your shoulder? Or worst yet desperation?
3.) What were YOU wearing? T-shirt with stripes? Old smelly sneakers? Which sends a clear message to everyone that you didn't make much of an effort and don't care about your appearance.


Women want to see men make an effort. If you don't make an effort, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET LAID! Is that clear?


SO, WHAT COULD YOU HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY?

1.) NO WHINING (It's annoying and so unsexy.)
No bitterness, no politics, no religion, no attitude, no assholes, no bullshit. I personally cannot stand a man that whines. When I meet a man, the first thing that he says guides the rest of the conversation. If he's funny, cleaver, do we share a common interest? If yes, we're going to get along great. But, if he just came over to be an ASSHOLE or to prove some point -- that has nothing to do with me. That's childish and save that sort of behavior for your mom. Or go home and hide under the bed, because the world is cruel.


2.) CONFIDENCE
What do you want out of this? Do you want to meet women? Do you want a friend? Do you want to talk? Do you want to get laid? Once YOU understand what your own motivations are, then you can proceed from that point. Whatever it is YOU are looking for, women are already 10 steps ahead of you -- DEAL WITH IT! -- that's just how it is. That's why it's important to know what YOU want. That way, the confidence you display will make it clear to others who might be looking for the same thing.


3.) THE ART OF CONVERSATION
My God, the most important thing. If you cannot or don't know to speak well with another people in order to communicate your intentions, than be prepared to be SEXLESS and living with your mom for the rest of your life. When you deal with the opposite sex, for the purpose of "romance", you are basically making a non-verbal agreement between the two of you -- whether you know it or not. You are communicating to another what type of Person / Lover you are. So when you walk over to a woman (a total stranger) , with a fucking chip on you shoulder -- What you are actually communicating is? "I am an asshole. I am not worthy of your time. I'm not really interest in you or getting to know you. I'm just here to waste your time and act like a dick, until someone better comes along." Sound familiar, does it?

So next time. I want you, Padawan Learner, to apply these 3 things I've listed above, come back onto this forum site and show me SUCCESS. No more whining. Ok. I want to see Bold and Decisive -- now go get'em, kid!!!

/Class dismissed
(It's easy to blame others, but not look at the 3 fingers pointing back at self)

Thank you oh wise one, now i understand the female mind in it's entirety and will venture forth to have MASSIVE QUANTITIES OF SEX. Oh wait, i forgot, people are actually individuals. oh well, guess i better go and try what works. TALKING TO OTHER PEOPLE AS I WOULD EXPECT TO BE TALKED TO.

Also, asside from replying to be sarcastic. I have to say this was probably one of the best posts made in this thread, Cudos to you.

 

[TheSmokingFox]

What makes you think that every girl in a club wants to get with a guy? A lot of the time, a group of girls on a night out together will literally just be having a girls night out. We're socialising with each other, not with guys like you.

We don't have to dance with guys to have fun. I can't believe you're that stupid.

I'm sorry, this wasn't an attempt to be sexist, I (and i believe generally people) go to clubs to do something other than what they would do anyway, like dance, meet people and have a good time. These VERY SPECIFIC individuals (which are women) are not doing that. we hit on girls because thats what we are there to do and we assume that if you are at a club to then you are at least semi-interesting in talking to people you don't know and enjoying that. Assuming we believe that girls can only have fun by dancing makes you stupid, we are simply saying that at a club is it not fun/apropriate to try and dance with someone you don't know to have a good time.

We also go on guys nights out, we call them nights out. in which standing in a corner doing nothing is not a part of. please stop being so self-righteous and rude about things you clearly misunderstand.

Meeting new people and enjoying something done with them is good right? and is kind of the point in being in a public place designed for socializing I.E clubs, pubs, bars etc etc. Just because you are out with your friends doesn't mean you should avoid other people, if this is what you are going to do, don't go to a f*cking NIGHT CLUB!

If you can't stand people not talking to you when they have a perfect right not to, then get over it or don't go out in public.

You're the self-righteous one. Oh no, how DARE they go to a nightclub and not want to talk to a horribly self-entitled person like you! Can't just let them do what they want, that would be too much trouble.

Well, that was a little personal. I am sorry to see my comments making you so offended you think you can talk down to me like i am scum. I apologise if my comment sounded self-righteous or self-obsessed, my intent was not to offend. I'd love to reply to what you said but, i can't really see any point being made. Other than that i am a disgusting human being. I didn't think i said that any individual HAS to talk to any other individual. My point was that if you go to a nightclub, atleast try to be friendly and/or reciprocate any friendliness show to you.

And, erm, BTW I really couldn't care less about who doesn't want to talk to me. Besides if a persons idea of a 'Night out' is too go with a group of friends into a crowded place, and then speak only with those people, and then leave with only tohse people. i don't want to talk to them.

Sorry to make you so angry, but you may have gone a little far. You could try being a little less personal and full of hate next time, instead just make your point.

You're not saying anything new. I know what your point was. And it's pretty ridiculous to expect people to either be friendly instead of avoiding people or to follow your order of "don't go to a f*cking NIGHT CLUB!". No, they don't owe anyone a conversation and to say otherwise shows a ridiculous sense of entitlement.

as much as i have enjoyed this little back and forth, I think there is a phrase about banging your head against a brickwall that about somes this up. Nevermind. Have a good night out your way, i'll have mine.

 

[SidingWithTheEnemy]

I have never had this problem in a strip club. try that.

That I liked - even chuckled... which I thought impossible considering such a thread.

Dear shitoutonme,
what have you gotten yourself into?

Not only did you seem to have difficulties to notice that double-x-ed-chromosomed bipedal humanoids behave differently than yourself, but by posting it here you made it even worse. Misinterpreted Insults and Mod-Hammer-Warnings aside there has been so far no really palatable explanation. Statistically speaking, there is probably no explanation at all. Other than the simple fact that you already found out: They have two x chromosomes while lacking the very special other one. If that's not reason enough for you ignoring them, maybe the fact that they didn't want to dance with you, or any of your kind of gender maybe is.


Which brings us to my final conclusion, the utmost and important of all life-governing rules. The pinnacle of social interaction, the one thing that makes up for all the differences and difficulties people have had with each other for generations and eons of time.

The best of all people (or girls in your specific case) are those ones you are able to ignore.

In layman's terms: Don't give a sh*t.

An additional benefit is that it immunizes against bans, warnings and all other well meant advices and even keeps pesky mysandric racists at a safe distance.