What To Do When....

[ThePocketWeasel]

Your best friends girlfriend is a *insert expletives here*.
I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world in this situation right now and who's ever been in this situation.

She's just not a nice person at all, she bulls**ts so much she should hold some kind of world record. She's also started spreading rumours about me and her OWN boyfriend (he is unaware of this) none of which are true.

So who else has been in a similar situation and what did they do?

Part of me thinks have it out with her and make her look like the psychopath she is but another part of me isn't that mean, however I know this much; I cannot put up with her crap for 3 years at university. Nearly a year at college has been enough.

In advance; thank you for the help

 

[Galletea]

Some girlfriends just seem to go all weird. I'd been friends with a girl for years, and when she got with a guy who worked with my boyfriend she suddenly got all jealous and angry, deleting me off his phone and generally being horrid, even though we were friends for years before that.
Maybe it's an insecurity thing that makes them lash out, but it seems to happen a lot, that's just one example that happened to me, but I've seen a lot of it happening, girlfriends going through their boyfriend's phones and screaming at some poor girl who asked him for a light for her cigarette. You know, that kinda thing.

 

[ThePocketWeasel]

SNIP.

The insecurity thing makes complete sense, she's incredibly attention seeking.
As soon as they started going out I knew me and him being friends would cause serious problems and it has.

 

[BonsaiK]

Your best friends girlfriend is a *insert expletives here*.
I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world in this situation right now and who's ever been in this situation.

She's just not a nice person at all, she bulls**ts so much she should hold some kind of world record. She's also started spreading rumours about me and her OWN boyfriend (he is unaware of this) none of which are true.

So who else has been in a similar situation and what did they do?

Part of me thinks have it out with her and make her look like the psychopath she is but another part of me isn't that mean, however I know this much; I cannot put up with her crap for 3 years at university. Nearly a year at college has been enough.

Just be honest with her.

My brother was in your position once. He jsut sat her down one day and said to her "I really don't like you - these are the reasons why..." and proceeded to giver her a blow-by-blow description of why he didn't like her. She stayed out of his affairs after that.

 

[Darth Caelum]

Bring her Down. Whichever way is best is fine (as long as no legal or physical harm is done. Emotional is fair game.)
Since she will Probably continue being a *****, it's best to cut the problem NOW rather than when all your hair has fallen off and you keep singing "Daisy Bell" in your sleep.

 

[ThePocketWeasel]

Bring her Down. Whichever way is best is fine (as long as no legal or physical harm is done. Emotional is fair game.)
Since she will Probably continue being a *****, it's best to cut the problem NOW rather than when all your hair has fallen off and you keep singing "Daisy Bell" in your sleep.

Oh believe me part of me wants to make her look like the awful excuse for a person she is. Problem is I just know she's one of those people who will cause all the trouble then at the end of it make herself look like the victim. You know, those kinda people.

 

[Galletea]

The insecurity thing makes complete sense, she's incredibly attention seeking.
As soon as they started going out I knew me and him being friends would cause serious problems and it has.

The problem with your situation, as I'm sure you well know, it that you have to think of your friend first. Chances are you might never get on with this girl, but if he can't see how horrid she is, than you having it out with her is unlikely to help, you'll just alienate him too. If you think you could be civil about it, then talk to her and try to find out why she'd spread rumours about you and her own boyfriend, make it clear you've been best friends for however long and there's no hint of romance. If you don't think you can be civil, then it's probably best not to try and interfere, as I don't think it can end well if you start retaliating to her.

 

[Macgyvercas]

She's just not a nice person at all, she bulls**ts so much she should hold some kind of world record. She's also started spreading rumours about me and her OWN boyfriend (he is unaware of this) none of which are true.

Hang on, let me see if I read that right.

She's also started spreading rumours about me and her OWN boyfriend (he is unaware of this) none of which are true.

Yup. Read that right.

Ummm. Let's see. That just doesn't make any sense at all. I mean, I would understand girlfriends spreading rumors about a boyfriend's best friend (no offense, man. I'm sure you're a nice person), but about their own boyfriend??? That makes absolutly no freaking sense. I'd tell your friend what's going on, but be delicate about it. Some people can get defensive about relationships, and I don't know your friend's personality.

 

[ace_of_something]

You could do like most (young) girls and tease her about a percieved social/physical defect until she gives herself an eating disorder.

Or

Be a grownup and say 'look we're probably never going to be great friends. We both know it. But for the sake of not making (bestie's name here) go completely bonkers we should try to get along'

Or

if that's too straight foreward. Try your best to find a common interest with the girl and talk about that. Hopefully you can move foreward from there. (it's not as hard as it sounds) Make sure to do this with another person in the room. Preferably a neutral party. It tends to make it a lot easier.

 

[DazZ.]

Mudfight.

I can't really give advice without being hypocritical, I just take the piss out of people that annoy me (and she sounds like she would), plus rumours wouldn't work around my friend group.

 

[DoW Lowen]

If she is so bad, tell him to tell her it's over. Easy right? You're his mate, you owe it each other to be honest.

 

[Layz92]

Ummm. Let's see. That just doesn't make any sense at all. I mean, I would understand girlfriends spreading rumors about a boyfriend's best friend (no offense, man. I'm sure you're a nice person), but about their own boyfriend??? That makes absolutly no freaking sense. I'd tell your friend what's going on, but be delicate about it. Some people can get defensive about relationships, and I don't know your friend's personality.

I know a girl that does it, not pleasant.

On topic, if it were just general bitchery then I'd say live with it and move off when she turns up at parties and so on. However, rumor mongering, especially on your friends, is entirely unacceptable and I would call her out on it, disprove her in front of her friends and so on, or simply just tell her to shut up and be equally unpleasant to her. Some people just need to be given a clue they inspire hatred in many people.

 

[YouCallMeNighthawk]

Have it out with her, also get a few other people on your side who feel the same way as you do. That will show her what people really think of her and hopefully she will change her ways.

 

[000Ronald]

One of the hardest lessons to learn is that you can only help someone if they'll let you help them; I know from expirience. My advice, knowing these kinds of people, is that there's nothing much you can do, nothing that would benifit anyone. It sucks, but...

Apologies for...well, if I ruined your day...

 

[YoUnG205]

Leave it alone. You will only make trouble for yourself if you get involved.