I have an explicit plan.
Minutes 1-5: Have sex. We all know it won't last more than that anyway.
Minute 6: Stab some guy.
Minute 7: Run from the police in Assassin Creed style.
Minute 8: Still running.
Minute 9: Profess a belief in the power of Power Thirst, run harder.
Minute 10: Scream out the lyrics to "Still Alive" whilst mocking the police.
Minute 11: Still running, this time with pants on my head.
Minute 12: You know, this running thing is going to go on for a while.
Minute 13: Calculate Pi. All of it.
Minute 14: I mean motherfucking all of it.
Minute 15: Have sex with your mum. We all know it won't last more than that anyway.
Minute 16: Climb to the top of a tower and threaten to jump.
Minute 17: Dramatic pause.
Minute 18: Jump from said building, unveiling a cleverly concealed parachute ala James Bond.
Minute 19: Resume Assassin Creed style run from the police.
Minute 20: Punch a hooker in the face while screaming, "It's from Germany and you know the Germans make good stuff".
Minute 21: Take a deep breath before screaming, "LEEEEEROY JENKIIIIINS".
Minute 22: Resume Assassin creed style run from the police, this time with crowbar in hand.
Minute 23: Bash someone repeatedly over the head screaming, "This is what I think of your fucking lying sack of shit cake".
Minute 24: Do a barrel roll.
Minute 24:30: Do another barrel roll.
Minute 25: Do two barrels of crack cocaine ala Scar Face.
Minute 26: Dodge bullets like I'm mother fucking Neo.
Minute 27: Answer the question to life, the universe, and everything, including repeating the question to the answer to the life, universe, and everything, but very quietly and in Swahili.
Minute 28: Jump off of a pier on to a fishing boat, proceed to have a duel, stab someone in the head, and scream, "KABOOM, YE OLD HEADSHOT".
Minute 29: Sink said fishing boat and perform a reverse of the opening scene of The Pirates of the Caribbean, in the nude.
Minute 30: Slowly sink to the bottom, my lifeless corpse holding the middle finger until I disappear in to the water never to be heard of again until they make the sequel.
Fin.
Minutes 1-5: Have sex. We all know it won't last more than that anyway.
Minute 6: Stab some guy.
Minute 7: Run from the police in Assassin Creed style.
Minute 8: Still running.
Minute 9: Profess a belief in the power of Power Thirst, run harder.
Minute 10: Scream out the lyrics to "Still Alive" whilst mocking the police.
Minute 11: Still running, this time with pants on my head.
Minute 12: You know, this running thing is going to go on for a while.
Minute 13: Calculate Pi. All of it.
Minute 14: I mean motherfucking all of it.
Minute 15: Have sex with your mum. We all know it won't last more than that anyway.
Minute 16: Climb to the top of a tower and threaten to jump.
Minute 17: Dramatic pause.
Minute 18: Jump from said building, unveiling a cleverly concealed parachute ala James Bond.
Minute 19: Resume Assassin Creed style run from the police.
Minute 20: Punch a hooker in the face while screaming, "It's from Germany and you know the Germans make good stuff".
Minute 21: Take a deep breath before screaming, "LEEEEEROY JENKIIIIINS".
Minute 22: Resume Assassin creed style run from the police, this time with crowbar in hand.
Minute 23: Bash someone repeatedly over the head screaming, "This is what I think of your fucking lying sack of shit cake".
Minute 24: Do a barrel roll.
Minute 24:30: Do another barrel roll.
Minute 25: Do two barrels of crack cocaine ala Scar Face.
Minute 26: Dodge bullets like I'm mother fucking Neo.
Minute 27: Answer the question to life, the universe, and everything, including repeating the question to the answer to the life, universe, and everything, but very quietly and in Swahili.
Minute 28: Jump off of a pier on to a fishing boat, proceed to have a duel, stab someone in the head, and scream, "KABOOM, YE OLD HEADSHOT".
Minute 29: Sink said fishing boat and perform a reverse of the opening scene of The Pirates of the Caribbean, in the nude.
Minute 30: Slowly sink to the bottom, my lifeless corpse holding the middle finger until I disappear in to the water never to be heard of again until they make the sequel.
Fin.
