What's it like having 2 parents?

[anthony87]

Jesus...for a guy who can't remember his mother this thread is depressing as all hell . Seriously though, this is actually something I've often pondered to myself when I@m lost in thought or whatever, I was actually just thinking about it today.

I can't help but wonder if I'd be any different in terms of personality. Would I still be living where I am? Would I have the same friends? Would I have made the same choices about things? Kinda mind boggling really.

 

[cswurt]

One parent is bad enough.
Two is double-trouble.

 

[V TheSystem V]

Having two parents is hard to describe as I've never had it any differently.

Mum is the caring one, always willing to help and pushes us to do our best (even if we don't want to do what she is pushing us to do, like get specific jobs). By specific jobs I mean just part time jobs, not full on careers.

My dad is the sort who drinks and shouts a lot. He works really hard every day, so it's fair enough that he is allowed a drink and to be lazy when he gets home. But the language he uses towards my mother is sometimes just...no. He calls her so many things under his breath (which we can all hear) and she just tends to ignore it these days. We THINK he could possibly have Tourettes because he gets annoyed easily and just can't stop swearing, but it's still off-putting when someone calls for him and all you can hear is cursing. He loves my mum, definitely, but when they have full on arguments it's scary to be around him. He once lashed out at her in front of my grandfather (my mother's dad) because she talked back to him, and my grandfather was just shocked. You just don't do that sort of thing in front of your father in law.

So yeah, two parents? Not bad, but the stuff they say to each other when annoyed is just horrible.

 

[Nayr]

I'm very fortunate to have both my parents, and two parents who support me. The life lessons I got from having both of them is priceless. I know my mom showed me how to be more thoughtful and caring whereas my dad who never actively would teach me things showed me how to be more stoic and a hard worker and that education is the highest value thing to attain.

My dad was always more of a role model and somebody to aspire to be like whereas my mother was more nurturing and hands on. So I guess I would say having both parents is not only a blessing but if I didn't have one of them I would not be the same person at all.

Edit: Another thing I should mention that does not seem to be common in this thread is that I was lucky enough to have never seen my parents fight and have never really fought with them.

 

[R3dF41c0n]

*snip*

I understand where you're coming from. I was bounced around social services for most of my childhood and didn't have a consistence male figure in my life. I was eventually adopted by a couple but they divorced shortly after I graduated High School.

Looking back I realized I missed out on learning so many little things that only a father could teach. About a year ago I discovered a website called The Art of Manliness. It's a resource for how to be a better man. It helped me and it might help you too.

Your mom sounds like she really loves and cares for you. You're lucky to have her.

 

[MetalMagpie]

Until my early teens, my father was a mysterious figure who (for work-related reasons) I saw very little of. After he changed firms (and - I was to find out much later - priorities), we had a few very awkward "father daughter outings" while he tried to get to know me. But these days we're great friends, so I'm glad he made the effort.

The advantage of having two parents is that (in my experience) they usually have different strengths and weaknesses. My mother is good at helping me with anything to do with emotions, relationships, etc. Whereas my father (who I suspect would rather stick his head in boiling oil than talk to me about boyfriends) is fantastic at working through more "grounded" problems such as university choices and interview technique.

 

[Revnak_v1legacy]

I still live with both of my parents, and I'd have to say that it has been quite nice for me. My mother has always been the harder worker ever since I was born. She is always either at work, cleaning, or working on some kind of project. As a child I had my great-grandmother around and she spoiled me rotten, but she died a little before my 13th birthday. After that I startted spending a whole lot more time with my father, and grew to apreciate just how awesome of a dad I have. He understands that we have different opinions, and my occasional debates with him are where I have developed my belief that you don't really have an opinion on a subject until you can tell someone why you have it. My dad is funny, accepting, kind, and helpful. For basicly all of my friends who get to know him, he's been a second father, in one case he was the only father figure they'd ever had. My mother inspires me with how hard she works to support our family and how far she's come socially, as she used to be terribly shy and lacked confidence until my father started pushing her to stop underestimating herself. I really love both of my parents and would hate to imagine my life without either one.

 

[Andalusa]

Well.. when I still had two parents it was fairly crap. Mother and Father were always arguing and fighting. Though they did manage to hide it quite well when I was younger, but as my siblings and I got older we were able to see that there was actually a huge rift between them. When they finally separated they hated each other so much they couldn't even be slightly civil when they were in the same room.
I live with Mother, and she's been able to guide me through adolescence rather well, I think. We're good friends and get along well. I do still see Father occasionally, but it's always quite awkward.
long story short, 2 parents are good when one can at least tolerate the other.

 

[elvor0]

Right about now they sort of have shoehorned into my life, making it next to impossible to leave the house right now. Thinking of joining the military.

Joining the military because you don't like having people tell you what to do...wha? *confused*

OT: Only have one parent myself, my mother, although I've never had any desire for a two parent upbringing because it's just always been that way and I've got a pretty matey relation ship with her, in the sense that we can get wasted and smoke pot together and have a lot of the same interests, so if my dad had been there it may not of turned out that way, because it's just been us two leading to closer relationship. She's a bit of a tomboy and has a lot of life experience anyway so all in all, given the choice I think I'd prefer the one parent model.

 

[albinoterrorist]

Technically I have 4.
Should I be here?

Having parents is highly overrated, nonetheless.

 

[Genericjim101]

My dad was never intended to be a part of my life and isn't even present on my birth certificate, which leads to many lulz. My mother ironically raised me to be more headstrong and stand up for myself than most people with two parents, this is without compensating for not havign a man around and more her own attitude XD.

 

[JoesshittyOs]

Joining the military with the purpose of gaining freedom and autonomy? You might want to rethink that plan.

Joining the military because you don't like having people tell you what to do...wha? *confused*

Perhaps I should explain what I meant by being "shoehorned" into my life.

They are good people, yet they attached themselves to me. They own my car, the insurance payments on the car, and pay for me college, and they pretty much are trapped to me. I'm an adult living in their house like a teenager, and I feel guilty as shit for that. It's not because I hate them telling me what to do, it's because they feel the need to tell me what to do.... if that makes any sense.

The decision to join the military isn't because I want more freedom, it's because I want to live on my own and I think the tough treatment that you get in bootcamp and the all of that will be enough to wake me up and get me on my feet and actually get me in the right mindset to live for myself. Because as it's going right now, I'm going to be living with them till I'm 22, and no shitty job at a retail store is going to help me strive out on my own.

 

[Dogstile]

It's awful. There are twice the people to nag you and fuck you over at every opportunity. Just this christmas, I wanted an iPad from my Dad and a Blackberry from my Mum, and all I got was an iPod and a car. Fuck parents.

You could get a job and start taking responsibility and buy your on stuff and be a little bit more independent then getting angry at mommy and daddy because they did not get you what you wanted. Be grateful you have both, i have only a mother.

I'm pretty sure that was sarcasm.

OT: Well, I have both but not in the same household. My dad is the typical Irish stereotype, hit my mum then ran out on us. Gave him a try again when i was 15 and he was still a prick. So, as far as I can tell it all depends on the type of parents you get.

 

[Guffe]

I've been lucky enough to have both my parents in my life

This, especially the "lucky" part.

and even more so I come along with both of them perfectly.
It's really great to have them both around.
I have a few friends with divorced parents (both early and later in life divorces) and one friend whos dad died a couple years back when we were 18, horrible stuff.
You learn a lot from both, different things but the most important part is maybe that you actually always have someone there. Even if one is away on something the other one is almost always there, can't explain it really but you'd have to experience both I guess to be able to say something about it.

 

[elvor0]

Joining the military with the purpose of gaining freedom and autonomy? You might want to rethink that plan.

Joining the military because you don't like having people tell you what to do...wha? *confused*

Perhaps I should explain what I meant by being "shoehorned" into my life.

They are good people, yet they attached themselves to me. They own my car, the insurance payments on the car, and pay for me college, and they pretty much are trapped to me. I'm an adult living in their house like a teenager, and I feel guilty as shit for that. It's not because I hate them telling me what to do, it's because they feel the need to tell me what to do.... if that makes any sense.

The decision to join the military isn't because I want more freedom, it's because I want to live on my own and I think the tough treatment that you get in bootcamp and the all of that will be enough to wake me up and get me on my feet and actually get me in the right mindset to live for myself. Because as it's going right now, I'm going to be living with them till I'm 22, and no shitty job at a retail store is going to help me strive out on my own.

Ah that makes more sense, well how old are you now? (assuming you're British and college is A levels) you could apply to university, (I think prices are still 3k this September) as you get the chance to live on your own and learn what it's like to live in the real world (more so than perhaps the military as it's confined to a base camp if you know what I mean). If you're American, take your college diploma, strive to find a low rent place to move to, it may not be classy but at least you're somewhat independent, and see if you can get a job with your diploma would be the best bet on that front.

On the other hand, I had a friend growing up who was a bit of a loose cannon, great person, just a bit lost; joined the army and now he's a lot better off and knows what he wants out of life, so there is a lot to be gained from it like you say, so yeah more power to you if you go for it.

 

[JoesshittyOs]

Ah that makes more sense, well how old are you now? (assuming you're British and college is A levels) you could apply to university, (I think prices are still 3k this September) as you get the chance to live on your own and learn what it's like to live in the real world (more so than perhaps the military as it's confined to a base camp if you know what I mean). If you're American, take your college diploma, strive to find a low rent place to move to, it may not be classy but at least you're somewhat independent, and see if you can get a job with your diploma would be the best bet on that front.

On the other hand, I had a friend growing up who was a bit of a loose cannon, great person, just a bit lost; joined the army and now he's a lot better off and knows what he wants out of life, so there is a lot to be gained from it like you say, so yeah more power to you if you go for it.

Nah, American. The problem is getting a decent well paying college level job down here in the states is getting trickier as the time goes by. It's not even with over working. My friend only gets 4 hours a week because of over-employment, and I'm still trying to get a job.

Plus, the military has always appealed to me. I'm off and on about joining it, but mostly it's because I thought it'd be too hard. But I'm getting tired of being afraid of making grown up decisions, so I really do think I'm gonna go through with it.

 

[elvor0]

Ah that makes more sense, well how old are you now? (assuming you're British and college is A levels) you could apply to university, (I think prices are still 3k this September) as you get the chance to live on your own and learn what it's like to live in the real world (more so than perhaps the military as it's confined to a base camp if you know what I mean). If you're American, take your college diploma, strive to find a low rent place to move to, it may not be classy but at least you're somewhat independent, and see if you can get a job with your diploma would be the best bet on that front.

On the other hand, I had a friend growing up who was a bit of a loose cannon, great person, just a bit lost; joined the army and now he's a lot better off and knows what he wants out of life, so there is a lot to be gained from it like you say, so yeah more power to you if you go for it.

Nah, American. The problem is getting a decent well paying college level job down here in the states is getting trickier as the time goes by. It's not even with over working. My friend only gets 4 hours a week because of over-employment, and I'm still trying to get a job.

Plus, the military has always appealed to me. I'm off and on about joining it, but mostly it's because I thought it'd be too hard. But I'm getting tired of being afraid of making grown up decisions, so I really do think I'm gonna go through with it.

Yeah unemployment is a massive issue over here too, I wish you the best of luck with your military career then, in the long run it's only a few years of your life and perhaps by the time you've finished your tour, the job crisis will be over and your army experience will leave you well equipped to do what ever you wanna do.