What's the worst escort mission you've played through?

[Johnny Novgorod]

I was going to ask whether escort missions should disappear from the face of the earth or something along those lines, maybe throw a poll to boot, but after some consideration, not all of them are bad and some can make pretty awesome games on their own! Case in point:

So instead let's make this about the WORST escort mission you've played through, and throw in a pic for fun. This guy from Spyro 2 inscribed itself in my childhood as my eternal woe:

EDIT - Welp I rounded up the games mentioned and this is what I came up with:

5 votes against: Dead Rising (assorted), GoldenEye (Natalya), Spyro 2: Rypto's Revenge (The Alchemist) and World of Warcraft (assorted).

4 votes against: Dead Island (assorted), Dragon's Dogma (assorted) and Metal Gear Solid 2 (Emma Emmerich).

3 votes against: Bioshock (Little Sisters), Fable (The Architect), Resident Evil 4 (Ashley... really?) and Morrowins (assorted).

2 votes against: Amy (Amy), Mass Effect 3 (assorted), Oblivion (assorted), Resident Evil 5 (Sheva) and The Witcher (assorted).


Etc. Keep 'em coming!

 

[ShadowGandalf01]

For me, it has to be on Goldeneye 64, Bunker 2 level. Natalya would always stand in the same doorway as loads of enemies, so she would get hit by them AND you. In the end I'd always leave her locked up until I'd cleared most of the threats.

 

[Fappy]

Any escort mission in Morrowind. Cliffracers + slow NPCs = brain aneurysm.

 

[Pink Gregory]

Any escort mission in Morrowind. Cliffracers + slow NPCs = brain aneurysm.

I accepted an escort mission in some unrelated town that I soon found out took my escort right into the middle of the Foyada Medea (or whatever it was called, the first word that came to mind was Foccacia. And now I want Foccacia). It was foolish, as I was under-leveled, lacking in good equipment, playing a mage (a pretty shitty mage), and my fatigue ran out in all of ten seconds of running. But I was committed, I tried for a while, but eventually I just left her to fend for herself against the zombies and cliff racers.

Oddly satisfying just to go 'A FUCKA YOU!'

 

[Fappy]

Any escort mission in Morrowind. Cliffracers + slow NPCs = brain aneurysm.

I accepted an escort mission in some unrelated town that I soon found out took my escort right into the middle of the Foyada Medea (or whatever it was called, the first word that came to mind was Foccacia. And now I want Foccacia). It was foolish, as I was under-leveled, lacking in good equipment, playing a mage (a pretty shitty mage), and my fatigue ran out in all of ten seconds of running. But I was committed, I tried for a while, but eventually I just left her to fend for herself against the zombies and cliff racers.

Oddly satisfying just to go 'A FUCKA YOU!'

The worst part is that most escorted NPCs are unarmed :/

 

[Pink Gregory]

Robert Snipp

The worst part is that most escorted NPCs are unarmed :/[/quote]

For the record, I think she lasted longer than I did...

 

[Elfgore]

Is every single escort mission ever an option?

OT: The escort of that damn drone on Mass Effect 3's multiplayer. I could camp in a nice corner on gold but noooooo, I gotta leave my perfect spot and lead a brain dead robot to a certain point.

 

[iwinatlife]

Bioshock and the little sister, ANY escort quest from the original fable

 

[Rawne1980]

Any escort quest, all of them suck hairy monkey armpits.

"Quick, we must escape here as fast as our legs will carry us or we will suffer a doom worse than death .... WORSE THAN DEATH"

*Casual stroll*

Yep, that's a quick escape alright.

 

[Vegosiux]

WoW Cataclysm; Tol Barad - Walk a mile in their shoes.

That is the most obnoxious, the most annoying escort quest ever.

 

[Savagezion]

I think Alpha Protocol wins this one for me when you escort the Chinese Ambassador. He is such a dumbass. Honestly, escort missions don't bother me and most of the time I actually like them because they balance the players godlike power and skill (comparatively) to an AI handicap. In AP however, not only is the ambassador a moron, but the force you have to take on would be difficult without needing to guard a retard. Other then that one, I can't think of any.

 

[Tallim]

The Peter Puppy sections from the Earthworm Jim games :/ Hated them with a passion

 

[JaceArveduin]

I got ninja'd by the OP >.<" I was playing through Spyro 2 again after years, and had managed to forget him, until last night. That little bastard only has to pass one troll-thing to get to Hunter, yet he decides to go by all of them... /rage

Also, any time you have to escort Sara Oakheart in LotRO, she's such a lil pain in the ass.

Spoiler: LOTRO main quest spoiler

And, to make it worse, she turns out to be a super-powered evil ***** at the end of Book One

 

[Ascarus]

Any escort quest, all of them suck hairy monkey armpits.

"Quick, we must escape here as fast as our legs will carry us or we will suffer a doom worse than death .... WORSE THAN DEATH"

*Casual stroll*

Yep, that's a quick escape alright.

I am inclined to agree with this. The only exception being Dishonored .. so far. Had to find the Empresses daughter and escort her out of her confinement and I got that sinking feeling of "oh god. escort quest". However in dishonored it was freaking awesome.

To whit: Find Emily, she quickly and efficiently runs to the exit and then you get a message stating you have rescued her. DONE!

they should all be done that way.

 

[Midnight Crossroads]

Resident Evil 5

I'd have preferred a mule. At least those don't waste my herbs.

 

[Casual Shinji]

Any escort mission from last generation except for Resident Evil 4 and Ico.

Seriously, Ashley is the best escortable (that's a word, right?) NPC in the history of gaming.

 

[Iwata]

Out of the top of my head:

- Escorting ANY survivor in a Dead Rising game
- Still on the topic of zombies, escorting ANY survivor in Dead Island
- The Harvest missions on Bioshock. It astounds me that they made a DLC based solely around it!

 

[Username Redacted]

I'm very tempted to say that any answer that isn't the entire "game" known as 'Amy' is from someone who hasn't played Amy. Seriously fuck that game.

 

[Mikejames]

I remember this one part of Oblivion, Shadow over Hackdirt. It was actually a favorite quest of mine to start with, where you had to look for a missing girl. I traveled to a shady village, investigated the inhabitants, found the girl, defended her from the perpetrators, then continued on an exciting chase back to the city.

Things were going great until a brilliant non-scripted guard somehow registered the girl as a threat and immediately cut her down. The whole mission failed, and I proceeded to ransack the town before finding a pre-quest reload.

 

[Matt9102]

All of the survivors in both Dead Rising games were insanely annoying. Most of the survivors also had no story and were in general boring to have to deal with. However, Snowflake gets the honor of both being the most retarded and being a tiger, so I think that makes up for it.