What's worse, being raped, or being falsely accused of rape?

[Vault101]

being raped...HOWEVER the other one can be bad too, and I am somwhat ashamed at the Idea that some women might intentionally abuse the sytm like that (though some are confused/not thinking clearly)

 

[Vault101]

Being raped. There's a whole lot of mental and emotional stuff that comes with that, from being told you should have known better (if you were in a dangerous place or wearing anything the slightest bit sexy and/or short) to the feeling that you might have been able to keep it from happening if (Insert reason X here). The whole issues of trust and fear are bad enough, but if you report it to the police, there are places that can make you feel like it's happening all over again, or douchey police officers who tell you that you were asking for it or that, if you are old, ugly, fat or in any other way unattractive, that you should be grateful that at least you got to have sex.[/B]

Yeah, it's getting better, but it still happens. So, honestly, I'd have to say that actually being raped is worse.

ok THAT one got me

do people actually think like that?...like in this day and age?? (I know waay back in the day they belived that if a women was raped she would turn into a sex maniac) but this..is somehow worse

rape is pretty much anti-sex,

 

[Thaluikhain]

I would say being raped.

I'm never been raped, or accused of being raped, but I've known women that were raped many years ago. More or less they've gotten over it, most of the time. But, and I know this sounds really terrible, then there's times that I really don't enjoy talking to them, when they'll mention offhand something that makes me sick to my stomach without realising it. Or just the way that they could be going about their lives fairly happily until something brings them crashing down again. Then there's the times when you have someone with too much time on their hands telling a victim that it was her fault her husband raped and abused her, cause "women make their husbands crazy trololol"[footnote]But of course, the person saying that "is a nice guy really", everyone thinks he's hilarious and, when last I heard, was going out with another rape victim I know[/footnote]. That's not much fun.

I'm not sure if any of the rape victims I know had to go through the "did you enjoy it?", "you were asking for it" "you should have taken more precautions" "you deserved it" stuff, but I do know the rapist wasn't convicted in every case.

Now, as for rape accusations. We've all heard about how rape allegations will destroy a man's life [footnote]usually it's the first thing you here when a rape case makes the news, along with "he's a nice man, whatever could have led to this happening to him?"[/footnote], but I'm not so sure. I've not met anyone I know to have been accused of rape, personally...but how many serious crimes can you think of that you'd want to be accused of? Admittedly, murder seems to make you a celebrity criminal these days, if you can get the right PR, otherwise, something best to avoid.

Speaking of celebrities, though, high-profile rape accusations don't seem to slow them down. It's almost a running gag now that certain sports only seem to be played by accused rapists. I guess the most celebrated accused rapist would be Michael Jackson, who was massively successful despite a number of child abuse accusations. Whether or not he was guilty, the accusations didn't seem to slow him down much. And then there's Polanski, who confessed to drugging a raping a 13 year old girl, and then fucking off for several decades. He still has his supporters and apologists despite confessing to raping a child.

Admittedly, those are celebrities, not common or garden people. But it seems to me that if celebrities can still be lauded and respected despite allegations of sexual abuse, society isn't likely to be too harsh on regular folk who've been accused.

Though, of course, being accused of rape does carry a tiny chance of being actually convicted.

 

[Sikachu]

Probably being raped would be worse. What would you rather happen: Get punched in the face, or be falsely accused of punching someone in the face?

Depends on the context. If it was at work, I'd much rather be punched in the face.

 

[Pearwood]

Oh wait. That shit does happen. And I said as much in my original fucking comment that you are clearly too stupid to read.

I'm aware of what you said, I just think it sounds like the rantings of a fourteen year old Nazi wannabe. False rape cases are rare, there has to be a certain amount of evidence to get a conviction but I'm not interested in talking about your argument about how damaging being falsely accused can be. I called you an idiot or a troll because you said that with genuine rape the ordeal is over in a few minutes and you acted as though the trauma a rape victim suffers is nothing compared to the trauma of someone who probably wasn't actually convicted. Plus you sound like one of those idiots who think that anyone can just cry rape and before you know it you're in jail, it doesn't work that way.

It's not up for debate that rape is a horrible crime that ruins lives, if you genuinely want to argue that rape is only an ordeal for a few minutes and then might cause some trauma but it'll be ok then you'd better get used to being called a moron.

As for your pathetic idea that someone's past crimes prevents them from getting any justice when they are raped, I don't even know where to begin with that. Nobody should have their claims ignored, least of all with something as damaging as rape. It's still illegal, that rapist still deserves punishment.

 

[smithy_2045]

Being raped hurts the victim more, being falsely accused hurts the victim's reputation more. Both have long lasting negative consequences.

 

[Thaluikhain]

False rape cases are rare, there has to be a certain amount of evidence to get a conviction

Physical evidence of sexual activity comes to mind.

There is a simple and almost foolproof way for men to avoid leaving evidence of sexual activity if they are worried about false convictions. It revolves around not agreeing to having sex with someone they think might wish them ill. Unfortunately, no such method exists to satisfactorily protect women from being raped. And yet for some reason, people seem more concerned with protecting small numbers of falsely accused men than massive numbers of actually raped women.

 

[Pearwood]

It revolves around not agreeing to having sex with someone they think might wish them ill.

Or even using a condom and disposing of it properly. No need to even avoid sex with dodgy women although why you wouldn't want to avoid that is a mystery to me.

 

[HerrBobo]

There have been a lot of rape threads recently, and the outcry against rapists has been (unsurprisingly) massive. Rapists are probably number 2 on the world hate list behind child molesters.

There have actually been a fair few cases where women (and possibly men, although I've not heard of it) have cried rape and started witch hunts against certain individuals they dislike.

So what do you think is worse? being raped? or having people think you are a rapist?

Edit: sorry about the poor organisation and wording, have to go to work, shall be back to see response.

I have been accused of rape, kinda.

Several years ago I hosted a house party. I was flirting with this girl on and off for most of the night. Nothing happened, no kiss or nothing, a good time was had by all.

She ends up getting wasted and someone puts her in a bed, my bed, to sleep it off. So, everyone heads off around 10am the next morning and I go to bed. When I get into the room I see she is there (I'd not been told it was my bed she went to).

I hop into bed and she wakes up and she starts hugging me, then we kiss, and then we start to have sex.

After, maybe, 3 minutes of sex she tells me to stop I ask her why, like is she sore or something, she says she does want to do it. I'm bummed of course, but I'm off her straight away. I go and sleep on the couch, I'm just drifting off when I hear the front door close.

Nothing is said for about a week. I should have pointed out we all work at this really huge pub. Then one of the other door men tells me that she told him that I raped her and that she had to go to a rape councilor.

I'm like, WTF?!!

In the ending nothing more came of it, no one else was told, that I know of. However, I could have lost my job. I also starting seeing a girl (who I'm still with)not long after who confided in me that she had been raped the Summer before we got together, can you imagine if she ever found out?! Heck I could have gone to jail!

The girl clearly felt she had been raped, and I feel bad for her, but I mean where do you draw the line? Do you have to get a girl to sign a consent contract before having sex? There was a lot of drink on both of us, we staring having sex, then she asked me to stop and I stopped, is that rape?

I'm just saying the all a girl has to do is accuse you of rape and you're fucked!

We still work together, but we have never spoken in four years. Silly *****!

 

[Ham_authority95]

There have been a lot of rape threads recently, and the outcry against rapists has been (unsurprisingly) massive. Rapists are probably number 2 on the world hate list behind child molesters.

There have actually been a fair few cases where women (and possibly men, although I've not heard of it) have cried rape and started witch hunts against certain individuals they dislike.

So what do you think is worse? being raped? or having people think you are a rapist?

Edit: sorry about the poor organisation and wording, have to go to work, shall be back to see response.

If you're being accused of rape, you can either work your way out of it through the legal system, or move to another area where people haven't heard the rumors.

When you get raped, you get raped.

Just putting those out there.

 

[BabyRaptor]

Being raped. A falsely accused person can still be proved innocent. Once raped, the damage can;t be undone.

 

[Chairman Miaow]

There have been a lot of rape threads recently, and the outcry against rapists has been (unsurprisingly) massive. Rapists are probably number 2 on the world hate list behind child molesters.

There have actually been a fair few cases where women (and possibly men, although I've not heard of it) have cried rape and started witch hunts against certain individuals they dislike.

So what do you think is worse? being raped? or having people think you are a rapist?

Edit: sorry about the poor organisation and wording, have to go to work, shall be back to see response.

If you're being accused of rape, you can either work your way out of it through the legal system, or move to another area where people haven't heard the rumors.

When you get raped, you get raped.

Just putting those out there.

Actually, no you can't. If you're even involved in a rape trial or cautioned for sexual offences you're on the sex offenders register. Head teachers, doctors, youth leaders, sports club managers and others, including landlords, are notified of the existence of a local sex offender on a confidential basis. Imagine trying to get a house or flat when the current landlord thinks your a rapist. or your employer. and what if you are falsely convicted? all your friends and family think you are a rapist? you go to jail?
Head teachers, doctors, youth leaders, sports club managers and others, including landlords, are notified of the existence of a local sex offender on a confidential basis.

 

[RicoGrey]

There have been a lot of rape threads recently, and the outcry against rapists has been (unsurprisingly) massive. Rapists are probably number 2 on the world hate list behind child molesters.

There have actually been a fair few cases where women (and possibly men, although I've not heard of it) have cried rape and started witch hunts against certain individuals they dislike.

So what do you think is worse? being raped? or having people think you are a rapist?

Edit: sorry about the poor organisation and wording, have to go to work, shall be back to see response.

If you're being accused of rape, you can either work your way out of it through the legal system, or move to another area where people haven't heard the rumors.

When you get raped, you get raped.

Just putting those out there.

Actually, no you can't. If you're even involved in a rape trial or cautioned for sexual offences you're on the sex offenders register. Head teachers, doctors, youth leaders, sports club managers and others, including landlords, are notified of the existence of a local sex offender on a confidential basis. Imagine trying to get a house or flat when the current landlord thinks your a rapist. or your employer. and what if you are falsely convicted? all your friends and family think you are a rapist? you go to jail?
Head teachers, doctors, youth leaders, sports club managers and others, including landlords, are notified of the existence of a local sex offender on a confidential basis.

Different states have different laws I suppose, but NO, at least where I come from, you are not put on the offender's list just for being involved in a rape trial. You have to be convicted to be put on the list.

 

[Brandon237]

I think a choice between falsely accused and raped, raped is worse.
False convicted and raped, falsely convicted is worse. The people who trusted you never will again, society will hate you. AND you have to serve time.
Falsely accused and those who trust you will stand by you until you can clear your name, and you won't get fire et cetera until you are actually convicted.

Falsely accused < raped < falsely convicted

All three are pretty bad though.