What's your favourite way to cuss without cussing.

Vigormortis

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Nov 21, 2007
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Usually I go for whatever random, obscure word pops into my head first. Usually something that makes people think I've got a thesaurus in my pocket.

"Oh prestidigitation!"
"Go fornicate yourself!"
"Ow! My flagellated knee!"


Stuff like that. However, one of my favorite go-tos is, without a doubt: Shenanigans.

Try it. Just yell it out loud. It's oddly cathartic.
 

ImperialSunlight

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Nov 18, 2009
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You damned (when you pronounce the "d" it's not as vulgar :D) fools!

Fool! (rather than *****, etc.)



...It kind of makes me sound like a classic cliche villain, which is fitting.
 

IamLEAM1983

Neloth's got swag.
Aug 22, 2011
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McShizzle said:
I try not to swear too much so I'll often use these substitutes

Bullshit - horse/ball hockey, codswollop, balderdash

F-bomb - frig/friggin, flip/flipping, feck/fecking(usually in my Irish brogue)

General exclamation - Sun of a gun, Scharnhorst!, By the Mexican lightning!

Or, in an English setting, swearing in (Quebec)French works - calice tabarnac, tabarnouche, sacrament, merde
"By the Mexican lightning"? That's a new one. I tend to stick to the F-bomb even in French, although with my grandmother moving in, I've started using "Mautadit" without being aware of it. In English, though, I'm a big fan of letting out a really pretentious "Egad!" or "Great Gadfrey!".

Markiplier's more or less indirectly taught me "Bullhonkey" as a synonym for bullshit.

There's also nothing that exactly beats letting out a heartfelt and stereotypically French "Merde!" while in the company of American friends. :) They all titter and giggle because they have That One Pretend-European Friend and it makes them feel so special. XD
 

Akytalusia

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Nov 11, 2010
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in those situations, i'll just say "expletive!" usually i just i just use the appropriate expletive though.
 

ClockworkPenguin

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Mar 29, 2012
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solemnwar said:
ClockworkPenguin said:
Fffflipping heck, I always get stressed when I can't blooming swear. Crumbs it's difficult and I always turn into some blasted stereotype of an Englishman saying 'blimey' and 'shoot'. I end up looking a right pillock. Its all a load of bollards really.

Edit:
I tend to use different phrases. I usually use "bloody" or "bloody hell" depending on the usage but if I'm particularly exasperated with someone it'll become "for the love of-".
Being pedantic, but 'Bloody hell' is swearing, albeit one that has lost its sting as blasphemy became far less shocking than vulgarity. But since the word 'swear' or it's synonym 'oaths' does actually come from the act of invoking oaths in vain, it is almost the definition of a swear word, since 'bloody' comes from a shortened version of the phrase 'by my lady' and was an oath on the virgin mary. Dunno when people started tacking 'hell' on the end of it.
Er... no. I HIGHLY doubt it's a shorthand for "by my lady". That sounds an awful lot like "folk etymology".

bloody (adj.) Old Engish blodig, adjective from blod (see blood). Common Germanic, cf. Old Frisian blodich, Old Saxon blôdag, Dutch bloedig, Old High German bluotag, German blutig.

It has been a British intensive swear word since at least 1676. Weekley relates it to the purely intensive use of the cognate Dutch bloed, German Blut. But perhaps it ultimately is connected with bloods in the slang sense of "rowdy young aristocrats" (see blood (n.)) via expressions such as bloody drunk "as drunk as a blood."

Partridge reports that it was "respectable" before c.1750, and it was used by Fielding and Swift, but heavily tabooed c.1750-c.1920, perhaps from imagined association with menstruation; Johnson calls it "very vulgar," and OED writes of it, "now constantly in the mouths of the lowest classes, but by respectable people considered 'a horrid word', on par with obscene or profane language."
The onset of the taboo against bloody coincides with the increase in linguistic prudery that presaged the Victorian Era but it is hard to say what the precise cause was in the case of this specific word. Attempts have been made to explain the term's extraordinary shock power by invoking etymology. Theories that derive it from such oaths as "By our Lady" or "God's blood" seem farfetched, however. More likely, the taboo stemmed from the fear that many people have of blood and, in the minds of some, from an association with menstrual bleeding. Whatever, the term was debarred from polite society during the whole of the nineteenth century. [Rawson]

Shaw shocked theater goers when he put it in the mouth of Eliza Doolittle in "Pygmalion" (1914), and for a time the word was known euphemistically as "the Shavian adjective." It was avoided in print as late as 1936. Bloody Sunday, Jan. 30, 1972, when 13 civilians were killed by British troops at protest in Londonderry, Northern Ireland

Further searching on the Oxford English Dictionary (hurrah being able to freely access it due to being a university student, wooo!) doesn't say anything about it, either, which furthers the belief that it's merely folk etymology with no actual substance.

As an intensifier: absolute, downright, utter. Formerly sometimes in a negative sense: awful, terrible. More recently also as a mere filler, with little or no intensifying force (although generally implying some element of dislike, frustration, etc., on the part of the speaker).
Well darn. I think I pulled a bit of an Alan Davies there. I don't think I have any option but to concede and admit my ignorance.
 

MiriaJiyuu

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Jun 28, 2011
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ZippyDSMlee said:
Fudge....just fudge.......
Yeah same here. Makes me hungry every time too. It also confuses people when I yell "FUDGE' whenever I stub my toe or something painful happens to me.
 

WittyInfidel

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Aug 30, 2010
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I use "fug" a lot. Fuggin' this, and fug that. What the fug? Who the fug do you think you are?!?

I have a young son who runs around repeating everything, and I learned early on to curb my tongue.
 

Omega07

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Sep 1, 2010
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i guess mine would be "Fudgecakes!" or maybe "Motherducker!"...

but i mostly tend to make sentences out of pure cusswords, and general bile...
 

Beat14

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Jun 27, 2010
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cant and fudge if I censor. I'm pretty sure fuggot made an appearance once.

I had a friend who swore loads, it made me stop for the most part. I don't have an issue with swear words, but if your using them every sentence you can fuck off.
 

Scarim Coral

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Oct 29, 2010
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I used the word "crude" instead of crap since I say "oh crude" quite a few times (mostly at work).
 

templar1138a

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Dec 1, 2010
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It's not my favorite, but my dad once made a t-shirt that said, "St. Fudpucker's University: No One Obfuscates Better."

Anyway, my favorite way to curse without cursing is one I reserve for the people I despise the most. The ones who give me enough aggravation that I look them dead in the eye and say EXACTLY what I think of them and what I want to have happen to them. Basically, I Curse them.

Hypothetical: Someone I work with recites some dumb catch-phrase (like "Whusaaaaaap!" or "Eeeeeey, you guuuuuuys!").

First time: I shake my head slowly and ignore them.

Third time: "That's getting old."

When they've done it enough to push me to the limit: "That line isn't funny and you're not funny for repeating it. In fact, your repeating it shows that you're terrified that you're not interesting enough and you feel inadequate because women don't want to sleep with you. If you're going to keep repeating that line, then you should just go home, crawl into bed, and wait to die alone."
 

Lilani

Sometimes known as CaitieLou
May 27, 2009
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I've been waiting for the right situation to break this one out.

 

solemnwar

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Sep 19, 2010
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ClockworkPenguin said:
solemnwar said:
ClockworkPenguin said:
Fffflipping heck, I always get stressed when I can't blooming swear. Crumbs it's difficult and I always turn into some blasted stereotype of an Englishman saying 'blimey' and 'shoot'. I end up looking a right pillock. Its all a load of bollards really.

Edit:
I tend to use different phrases. I usually use "bloody" or "bloody hell" depending on the usage but if I'm particularly exasperated with someone it'll become "for the love of-".
Being pedantic, but 'Bloody hell' is swearing, albeit one that has lost its sting as blasphemy became far less shocking than vulgarity. But since the word 'swear' or it's synonym 'oaths' does actually come from the act of invoking oaths in vain, it is almost the definition of a swear word, since 'bloody' comes from a shortened version of the phrase 'by my lady' and was an oath on the virgin mary. Dunno when people started tacking 'hell' on the end of it.
Er... no. I HIGHLY doubt it's a shorthand for "by my lady". That sounds an awful lot like "folk etymology".

bloody (adj.) Old Engish blodig, adjective from blod (see blood). Common Germanic, cf. Old Frisian blodich, Old Saxon blôdag, Dutch bloedig, Old High German bluotag, German blutig.

It has been a British intensive swear word since at least 1676. Weekley relates it to the purely intensive use of the cognate Dutch bloed, German Blut. But perhaps it ultimately is connected with bloods in the slang sense of "rowdy young aristocrats" (see blood (n.)) via expressions such as bloody drunk "as drunk as a blood."

Partridge reports that it was "respectable" before c.1750, and it was used by Fielding and Swift, but heavily tabooed c.1750-c.1920, perhaps from imagined association with menstruation; Johnson calls it "very vulgar," and OED writes of it, "now constantly in the mouths of the lowest classes, but by respectable people considered 'a horrid word', on par with obscene or profane language."
The onset of the taboo against bloody coincides with the increase in linguistic prudery that presaged the Victorian Era but it is hard to say what the precise cause was in the case of this specific word. Attempts have been made to explain the term's extraordinary shock power by invoking etymology. Theories that derive it from such oaths as "By our Lady" or "God's blood" seem farfetched, however. More likely, the taboo stemmed from the fear that many people have of blood and, in the minds of some, from an association with menstrual bleeding. Whatever, the term was debarred from polite society during the whole of the nineteenth century. [Rawson]

Shaw shocked theater goers when he put it in the mouth of Eliza Doolittle in "Pygmalion" (1914), and for a time the word was known euphemistically as "the Shavian adjective." It was avoided in print as late as 1936. Bloody Sunday, Jan. 30, 1972, when 13 civilians were killed by British troops at protest in Londonderry, Northern Ireland

Further searching on the Oxford English Dictionary (hurrah being able to freely access it due to being a university student, wooo!) doesn't say anything about it, either, which furthers the belief that it's merely folk etymology with no actual substance.

As an intensifier: absolute, downright, utter. Formerly sometimes in a negative sense: awful, terrible. More recently also as a mere filler, with little or no intensifying force (although generally implying some element of dislike, frustration, etc., on the part of the speaker).
Well darn. I think I pulled a bit of an Alan Davies there. I don't think I have any option but to concede and admit my ignorance.
Don't worry about it brosky, this happens a LOT. Like this annoying thing on tumblr where they're like, "did you know that "lullaby" comes from "Lilith bye" and was a song to keep the demon Lilith away from your kids?!" and I was like "NOOOOO it's nooooot alskdjfalskdjfsldf". Unless you're obsessive over the English language and its history (like me) and do a lot of research, it's pretty hard to tell speculation (that's generally based on nothing) and actual theories based on fact.

The OED and the online etymology dictionary are pretty good sources, although the OED requires a subscription to access it online, which I get through my university. I'm going to be so sad when I'm not part of it anymore ;u;
 

McMullen

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Mar 9, 2010
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"What the H" or "Eff that", childish as they are, are ones that I seem to use a lot. They do have good emphasis potential at least.
 

game-lover

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Dec 1, 2010
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I'm rather fond of fudge. Particularly fudgemonkeys.

That's about it. Sometimes crap is used but it's not very unique.