When technology fails you.

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FalloutJack

Bah weep grah nah neep ninny bom
Nov 20, 2008
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If you are reading this, you have had some form of technology screw up on you at some point. Actually, even if you're not reading this, it's happened. Chances are, something has gone wrong at some point in your life and it may not even make sense as to why. Your computer has done something wrong, an internet site doesn't work right, your cellphone stops working, etc. This is the thread for you, and you are probably everybody.

Now, if you actually have somehow been blessed without a single failing of technology, not even one, I'd have to tip my hat to you 'cause it's a flipping miracle or act of god. (And if that miracle has indeed descent upon your being, try to have sympathy for everyone else who wasn't so lucky.)

So, Escapists... How do you deal with the bullshit of technology going wrong (in some way)?
 

Klarinette

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May 21, 2009
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I'm usually pretty okay with it. When I had my old phone (and no job), there were times when I wasn't able to pay the bill. As a result, they would periodically cut off my service until it was paid. Communication is a little harder at that point, and I just learned to deal with it. That said, I still had the internet. When that fails and I don't have a phone, communication grinds to a halt because that's the only way anyone can communicate anymore; everything is in real-time now, so sending a snail mail letter, as much as I still love that shit, is unrealistic and kind of pointless.

I also don't have a land line phone anymore, and 75 cents for a local call on a payphone is flat-out robbery.
 

Esotera

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May 5, 2011
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Hit it, google solutions for two days, and if that hasn't worked, format the hard drive. As long as I still have a computer then other failings can be worked around.
 
Dec 14, 2009
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That penis enlarger I bought from a Chinese guy over the internet.

Still no improvements.

Maybe I just got unlucky and mine is defective, I mean, the guy says he has 500 years of experience in making genital enlargement devices.

That's like a Grand Master or something.

[sub]Oddly enough, the device itself is called the Grand Master.[/sub]
 

MadMechanic

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Nov 6, 2009
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-Do the thing that all mechanics, technicians, plumbers and so on do - quickly suck air through your teeth (you know, they do it whilst pretending to work out how expensive the repairs will be).

Step one: Look at malfunctioning device in pure disgust
Step two: Turn away from the device and make frequent 'tut' sounds for several minutes
Step three: Shout at it. Verbally abuse object
Step four: Physically abuse it. Kick, slap, hit with a hammer, find nearest tree branch and slap object with it...
Step five: Shout at it some more.
 

Richardplex

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Jun 22, 2011
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MadMechanic said:
-Do the thing that all mechanics, technicians, plumbers and so on do - quickly suck air through your teeth (you know, they do it whilst pretending to work out how expensive the repairs will be).

Step one: Look at malfunctioning device in pure disgust
Step two: Turn away from the device and make frequent 'tut' sounds for several minutes
Step three: Shout at it. Verbally abuse object
Step four: Physically abuse it. Kick, slap, hit with a hammer, find nearest tree branch and slap object with it...
Step five: Shout at it some more.
Strikingly similar to the process I go through. Especially step 4: I've learnt from WoW and other RPGs that hitting a broken object with a hammer always fixes it.
 

Korolev

No Time Like the Present
Jul 4, 2008
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Why, just 20 minutes ago a game crashed on me. Other instances in which Technology has failed me: The Autoclave malfunctioned and my equipment was not properly sterilised. That was fun. Took 2 days to figure out that it was the faulty autoclave causing problems, and then it took a week to repair that ageing hunk of junk. I had to take every jar, bottle, and many, many liquids up two floors every time I needed something sterilized for a week. Not fun. Especially when those bottles contain biologically hazardous waste and you need to put on protective gear, get the special cart, put every container in ANOTHER container and wait for the elevator in a very busy building to be empty because you're not allowed to have someone without Protective gear in the elevator with you when you're transporting the stuff. Then, after about 2 to 4 hours when everything's been sterilised, you have to do it all over again and unpack everything and screw the lids back on. It's annoying (although vital) enough to sterilise every single bit of media or water or jar or container when the autoclave is in the same room as you. It's really annoying when you have to use someone else's, especially when they have to use it too (then they get annoyed that you're taking up space in the autoclave).

Usually when technology fails on me, I send for the repairers and technicians to put it back together, then I incessantly beg whoever has a working version of whatever broke to let me use it. In the case of the autoclave, I had to borrow another floor's autoclave, but the catch was that I often could only use it at night, since they had to sterilise their own stuff. So at the end of the day, instead of going home, I had to prepare anything I needed to use the next day and put it in at about 5:00pm, and wait, sometimes for nearly 4 hours, for it to be done, since leaving things in the autoclave overnight is a good way of ensuring that it won't be sterile when you need it in the morning. When you live about 1 hour away from your work place, leaving home late can get very, very annoying.

I know autoclaves are expensive. But we were using one that looked like it had been made in 1952! It was a decrepit, rusting, primitive piece of junk that was twice as large as the other models, yet SOMEHOW having even LESS space to put things in! And the pressure gauge didn't properly work, it would never go to zero, so everytime you opened it, you couldn't be entirely sure that when you did, it wouldn't hit you with boiling steam right in your face (which is the reason why we had the rule that, to go anywhere near it, you had to wear heat-resistant gloves, heat-resistant smock, and fully-surrounding eye wear to open it, and usually you'd stand off to the side and open it while ducking quickly away so as not to get burned).

By the Gods I hated that autoclave. I still hate it. Like those guys from Office Space, I would really like to take a big hammer to it and bash it to pieces, if only so that no one else in the future would have to deal with that piece of crap. Apart from my old 1995 Epson printer, I can't think of any other piece of machinery that I hated more than that damn autoclave.

As for my 95 Epson Printer - you had to re-calibrate it everytime you wanted to print something. Every. Single. Time. Or it wouldn't come out right. Also, any document more advanced that a TXT file confused the hell out of it, and it would print half-pages, or the wrong colour, or the images would be in the wrong size. I had the latest drivers for it - the printer just sucked. But I was poor, so I had no choice but to soldier on with it. When it died for good, I laughed. I also then broke it to pieces and used some of its components as paper weights.
 

kasperbbs

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Dec 27, 2009
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A week ago i had a trip to a city where i have never been before and my android phone failed to connect to a gps satellite all day, so i had to call a taxi to get me there because i was lost, oddly enough it started working again when i was halfway home.
 

OutcastBOS

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Sep 20, 2009
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MadMechanic said:
Step three: Shout at it. Verbally abuse object
Step four: Physically abuse it. Kick, slap, hit with a hammer, find nearest tree branch and slap object with it...
Yeah, these both describe how I deal with it. Sometimes, I am just not a patient man.
 

MadMechanic

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Nov 6, 2009
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Richardplex said:
Strikingly similar to the process I go through. Especially step 4: I've learnt from WoW and other RPGs that hitting a broken object with a hammer always fixes it.
OutcastBOS said:
Yeah, these both describe how I deal with it. Sometimes, I am just not a patient man.
I should say, I learnt my mechanical skills from two people.
Basil Fawlty, in the episode where he 'fixes' the car with a tree
The great and immortal Saint Jeremy Clarkson, holy priest of the great eternal(-ly failing) machine.
 

TheBritishAreComing

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Jul 19, 2011
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I remember before I was playing COD4 and the game kept lagging and I kept getting killed. This happened at least 15 times. So I kicked my computer really hard and it made some kind of grinding noise, like a vacuum cleaner sucking up a spilt package of nails. Then when I opened up the case to see what exploded, everything was fine.
 

OutcastBOS

Elite Member
Sep 20, 2009
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MadMechanic said:
Richardplex said:
Strikingly similar to the process I go through. Especially step 4: I've learnt from WoW and other RPGs that hitting a broken object with a hammer always fixes it.
OutcastBOS said:
Yeah, these both describe how I deal with it. Sometimes, I am just not a patient man.
I should say, I learnt my mechanical skills from two people.
Basil Fawlty, in the episode where he 'fixes' the car with a tree
The great and immortal Saint Jeremy Clarkson, holy priest of the great eternal(-ly failing) machine.
I learned mine from my uncle Jim. The man who got so pissed trying to fix a TV, he put a hammer through the top of it...and it came on.
 

GigaHz

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Jul 5, 2011
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I've always been under the impression that it is not technology that fails you, but you who fail the technology.

I can flex my nerd muscles and say that my equipment rarely, if ever fails.
 

Tentickles

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Oct 24, 2010
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Before I got this fantastically awesome gaming computer I had a piece of crap. Said piece of crap had a bad power supply and...

BLEW UP then CAUGHT ON FIRE! (While I was sitting 2 feet away from it)