Where do babies come from?

[subject_87]

"You're tall, do you play basketball?"

Christ, the next person who asks me that is getting smashed in the kneecaps with a cricket bat.

 

[GenericAmerican]

Grandma: How was your day?

Me: Fine.

Me on the inside: Fuck off grandma.

 

[dex-dex]

'Why do you only wear glasses sometimes?'

And..

'So Singapore speaks both English and Asian?'

yeah that Asian part is really ignorant.
i hate it when people say in china they speak Chinese. they speak mandarin.
actually this reminded me about something.
someone made a off hand comment on how they want to learn Chinese, so i corrected them and they said "no that's a buffet chain not a language." FUCK!

 

[Raive Sanema]

"How do you see?"
I am sad.

 

[dex-dex]

Why do you drive such a cheap car?

uh...cuz it's cheap.

also you can use that cheap car to do fun things like donuts in parking lots! or even go off ramps and fun shit like that!

 

[Dorian6]

First a few from my biology class back when I was in 9th grade

1.(during a lesson about childbirth) So is that like goin' dookie?

2. We get jelly from jellyfish right?

3. Can a human get a dog pregnant?
It gets even more depressing when you find out that this was actually a 10th grade class, so everyone was at least a year older than me.


And a couple from my job. I've been working at a gym for a little over a month now, cleaning and making shakes and what have you.

1. (There's a group of people who come in every morning as soon as I open the doors. As they're getting ready to start their workout, I start to take inventory on the bottled water, gatorade, etc. Mind you, I do this every day, and these people are always there when I do it) Guy comes up to me

"Do you have to do this every day?" I try to be polite (I really need this job) "Yeah, I gotta make sure everything's accounted for." The next day he comes back and asks me the EXACT SAME QUESTION again! "You have to do this shit every day?"


2. Why do I need goggles when I use the tanning beds?

3. Gym Member: I've been coming here for 3 months, why aren't I getting results?
Me: Did you change your diet when you started coming here?
Member: I have to change what I eat?

4. How do I look?

5. Member: Can you tell me when my membership expires
Me: Absolutely. *checks his name* You expire January 31st.
Member: Of next year?

6. Member: Can I pay you when I come back tomorrow?
Me: Sorry *points to "NO IOU's" sign*
The member then does that one thing that people do when they feel like you've heartlessly refused a reasonable request. You know where they whistle and say "wow" a lot? It's one of the most irritating things that customers do.

 

[bak00777]

'Why do you only wear glasses sometimes?'

And..

'So Singapore speaks both English and Asian?'

yeah that Asian part is really ignorant.
i hate it when people say in china they speak Chinese. they speak mandarin.
actually this reminded me about something.
someone made a off hand comment on how they want to learn Chinese, so i corrected them and they said "no that's a buffet chain not a language." FUCK!

well to be fair, most people prolly dont understand the fact that China has many languages.

 

[Dorian6]

"You're Islamic right?"

"Are you allowed to have sex?"

....wtf? Did he just assume that Muslims steal children in order to procreate?

Isn't it great that we live in such an "enlightened" and "well informed" country?

 

[dex-dex]

'Why do you only wear glasses sometimes?'

And..

'So Singapore speaks both English and Asian?'

yeah that Asian part is really ignorant.
i hate it when people say in china they speak Chinese. they speak mandarin.
actually this reminded me about something.
someone made a off hand comment on how they want to learn Chinese, so i corrected them and they said "no that's a buffet chain not a language." FUCK!

well to be fair, most people prolly dont understand the fact that China has many languages.

I will give you that but just stating that Asian is a language is pretty ignorant.

 

[justnotcricket]

Although there are many worthily foolish questions on this forum, it does strike me that some of them, when asked seriously, like 'where do babies come from' and 'what holds up the Earth', are perfectly normal questions that everyone probably asked (at least wondered about) in their life. I don't see why they're considered dumb here? Even if an adult is seriously asking where babies come from, it's not a stupid question, just a bit of a worrying one.

 

[silversnake4133]

"Why so serious?" -sorry had to do it. Fuck this internet meme.

"Can you read this?" -the kids I babysit say this so many times it's unbelievable, since they can read anyway.

"Are you a girl?" -I get this so many times, although most of the time it's not phrased as a question. I don't even know why either... I guess it's usually because my hair is short and I like to keep it that way. Because it's quite obvious that any dude walks around with two watermelons stapled to their chest...-_-

 

[Underground Man]

Once at college I was walking to class and overheard a conversation going on behind me. All I caught was:

"So, what if bananas swam upstream, and you had to harpoon them?"

I will forever wonder about the circumstances that must have led to that query.

 

[ethaninja]

There are no stupid questions. Just stupid answers.

OT: Why is a tree?

 

[Jezzascmezza]

"Is that all you want?"

"OF COURSE IT'S ALL I WANT, OTHERWISE I WOULD'VE ORDERED SOMETHING ELSE!! RAAAWWWWGGHHHHH!"

 

[aLivingPheonix]

When I was like... 12, I was talking to the girl my best friend liked, and she said "Why are you using words I don't know?!" The most complicated word I used was "Contemplating"

 

[Communist partisan]

"Are all the Swedish politic parties Communists?" no, they are Socialists if you look closely how they want everything to be. exept the Swedish democrats (nazi party)

They are not nazi, they are racist if anything... There is one helluva difference between the two.

OT: Not a question but a kid once stated that you didn't need salt to survive >_<

They are nazi what the hell do they mean whith "Our swedish women shall not give birth to immigrant kids" that's pretty nazi and I hope they F***ing die for saying that.... and you need salt to surive but it's sutch a smal precent that you get it by yust eating ordernary food.

 

[chaosfenrir]

'Why do you only wear glasses sometimes?'

And..

'So Singapore speaks both English and Asian?'

yeah that Asian part is really ignorant.
i hate it when people say in china they speak Chinese. they speak mandarin.
actually this reminded me about something.
someone made a off hand comment on how they want to learn Chinese, so i corrected them and they said "no that's a buffet chain not a language." FUCK!

well to be fair, most people prolly dont understand the fact that China has many languages.

there's no need to get up in arms over the chinese/mandarin thing... mandarin was declared the official language of china wayyy back, and its the official language of all the chinese-speaking states. Its fine to refer to mandarin as the chinese language, because it is officially the standard chinese language. The rest are considered dialects...

And depending on where you go, different people will call mandarin different things. The taiwanese will call it guoyu (national language), people from mainland china usually call it putonghua (common language)and people from singapore will call it chinese...

Also, mandarin is a horrible translation. Its actually guanyu, which translates to 'language of the officials'

And technically, the statement "Singapore speaks both English and Asian?" isnt wrong. Most singaporeans speak english and an asian language. It sounds like the guy needs english lessons, that's all...

 

[Cowabungaa]

A few days ago I was reading during lunchtime at work. One co-worker walked by and was apparently amazed by it, heck 90% of my co-workers were, so she asked "So you can read English?" No you silly thing, I am just staring at the pages without having a clue what's on them.

Another assumed that I was reading it for school. She couldn't phantom someone reading books in a different language for fun. *sigh*

Then there's the things you sometimes get as a Dutch person. Often it's just jokingly (not funny, but at least they know better) but sometimes you get honest questions. People sometimes...

And how do you know it's not?

It's just something I'm positive of. Doing things with prayer vs doing things without it have dramatic differences for me.

Knowing =/= believing. It's not a fact, it's your opinion. And a very strong one at that. One strong enough to affect you very deeply.

Your heartfelt stories do not bore me, they prove the strength of the human mind and the power of will. But it's no proof for what you believe it is thanks to a few facts about the human mind.

We're extremely good at fooling ourselves, often subconsciously. The reason why is quite simple; it makes life so much easier to handle. They're effective measures of dealing with the immense complexity that is living a life and the universe in general.

 

[Queen Michael]

Another assumed that I was reading it for school. She couldn't phantom someone reading books in a different language for fun. *sigh*

Dear gods, whyever not? I read books and comics in my native Swedish, in English... Now and then I even read manga in Dutch, a language I don't speak! But it resembles Swedish to such a degree that I can easily figure out what's being said, like for instance when somebody says "Uit het venster! Dat springt uit het venster!"

 

[Talon_Skywarp]

"Who invented the egg?" I kid you not. Someone next to me in a a history class asked our teacher this.

I would never stop laughing

Best one i've heard

Was Lord Of The Rings before or after dinosaurs?

Do I win?