Who really does finish last?

[SckizoBoy]

To add to the swathe of threads pertaining to people (not necessarily guys) and their luck in relationships, I will address a certain aspect which is somewhat sticky: psychological trauma.

Sure, physical scars are often sexy on a guy (and hell, I find them sexy on a girl), but psychological scars are never sexy.

Thus, question - and I will express this as crassly as I can: would you go for damaged goods?

 

[spartan231490]

Yeah, if I liked the girl, I wouldn't stay away cuz she was damaged. Honestly, I might not be the best representative though, most of the women I'm attracted to are damaged.

 

[Esotera]

Yes, although never intentionally. Relationships just don't seem to work with normal people...they aren't fun.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

'Damaged goods'? Really?

That's not a very kind way of describing people who've been through hard times.

 

[aPod]

There'll a point when you realize everyone has baggage, even you.

 

[SckizoBoy]

'Damaged goods'? Really?

That's not a very kind way of describing people who've been through hard times.

Sorry MoS... though I did mention expressing it as crassly as I could. And part of the reason being, I am what women would classify as 'damaged goods'. And 'hard times' is perhaps subject to being misconstrued.

When I date women, I come with emotional [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/538.290858-To-forget-a-dream] baggage [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/538.319130-What-I-fear], like most men, but it's like a damned millstone around my neck. I have little opinion about the term 'damaged goods' even though I should find it offensive. I've identified myself as that since I was sixteen just so I didn't have to go around with a personal stigma of being 'traumatised'. It was easier to make a joke out of it, even if the joke was on me.

 

[Phasmal]

No, I don't think I would.
I think you have to sort your own issues out before getting into a relationship otherwise it gets all weird/codependant.
I also kinda take issue with people who have had bad things happen to them and then label themselves as victims for the rest of their lives. (But please dont think this comes from a position of ignorance, rather it comes from a position of someone who has had a lot of crap and worked hard not to make that define me as a person).

 

[Girl With One Eye]

Well considering that I have enough baggage myself I'm not sure how it would work out. But I think it matters more about the person than how much baggage they have. If you fall for someone, I don't it really matters to you what they've been through - you just want to make them happy regardless.