Pist0l 07 said:
kurupt87 said:
A point I'd like to clarify is that I'm talking about when a row is instigated by the woman that results in her being hit.
I assume most of these thoughts would still apply if the roles were reversed? You seems to be talking about if a woman insults a man, and he hits her. So if a man insults a women, and she hits him the following thoughts still apply, correct?
Of course.
Not forgetting to mention the fact that the physical abuse a man commits leaves evidence aplenty behind whereas the verbal, mental and emotional abuse a woman commits leaves no such trail. Try having a vindictive woman who knows you intimately well insult you and you keep your cool; then report her and see how far you get. Try proving anything before you get laughed out the door.
You'd proof in either case, man or a woman. Are you implying that if a woman claimed her spouse verbably or emotionally abused her it would be taken more seriously then if a man made the same claim? That is probably true on average due to the gender roles society places on men and women, but either way they still require proof. No one is going to take the case to court because she said so and she is a woman. You would need recordings, witness to incidents and probably even a pych evaluation to make a case. A man can do all those things, he can make a case for the abuse. If you are arguing that society would view the man as weak for doing so, then yes I can sort of agree with that, but thats an issue of gender equality, and not necessarly women's rights.
Yes, you'd need proof to get someone convicted. My point is that it is very hard to get it, compared to the obvious signs of physical abuse. Coupled with that is the fact that what one person finds insulting will not necessarily translate to others. You cannot accurately gauge how badly someone is hurt by verbal or emotional abuse even if you hear what has been said.
Your argument seems to be that as soon as a woman is hit she is the victim, no matter the circumstances.
More on my reasoning below but violence should rarely be resolution of verbal conflicts. It is not legally considered a defense.
This necessitates the claim that whatever it is a woman does violence is never an appropriate response.
In regards to speech, this should be true regardless of gender. Like I said I will explain this more in a second.
You're imagining speech as some cold debate over an arcane point that one is trying to convince the other of. That is not the case. The pen is mightier than the sword and that fully translates to the spoken word. You seem to be arguing a case where a couple has a debate, not too dissimilar to what we are having now, which is concluded and neither party convinces the other of their point of view. One party, I'll nominate myself for this dubious honour, takes umbridge at your inability to comprehend my argument and then threatens to track you down and punch you. That would be, coarseness incoming, fucking absurd.
No, an argument between two people who know eachother intimately are uniquely capable of insulting one another far beyond the capabilities of, for example, some tosser down the pub; an argument between them does not even have to own an important point, the point is an excuse to have an argument where you can insult one another. The insults are even more hurtful because not only are they personally crafted and perfectly targeted they are coming from someone that you, at least ostensibly, love.
This ends up with the conclusion that there are either no bad women (they wouldn't have done something to deserve that response), or that they have superior rights to men (you can't hit a woman).
As I said before I have a hard time seeing any speech the deserves such a response. As for the issue of the rights, specificaly in this case, yes. I have some disagreement with this statement because I feel like you are stating that women should be brought down to men's level on this issue, rather then men being brought up to theirs. If not then I'm more accepting to the second statement
That point of view is precisely why some men view women as worth less than men. Examine "you should not hit a woman" for a moment. It obviously inherently implies you can hit a man. On top of that it implies a woman cannot take being hit. This implies women are frail, fragile or any other corresponding adjective; that they are weak. Weakness does not engender respect, weakness engenders contempt. Imposing this rule implies the state views women as weak, whereas leaving it up to the invdividual lets them balance their advantage in this physical school against the vitriol being flung their way by their advantageously erudite opponent.
As sexist as it is I will take more insult from a woman before rising to violence than I would from a man.
You could of course outlaw all violence and try to change male culture but, as I state and you dispute later on, this leaves them at an inherent disadvantage in a confrontational situation with a woman.
Violence is, occasionally, an appropriate response. That is why bouncers have a job, why cops carry truncheons and why countries have armies. And why millions of men fight every day in an effort to sort out disagreements between them.
I disagree, violence is occasionaly used as a response, it rarely should be. Bouncers use force to remove someone from the premise when they physicaly refuse to. They don't hit people because they said something offensive, and if they do they can get in serious trouble. Cops do not assualt people for being verbaly abusive. Force/Violence is and should be used when either; it has already been done to you by the assailent, or the assailent has made a credible threat to use violence on you. I see from below that you clarify your view somewhat but the above post seem to indicate the verbal disagreements should occasionly be resovled with violence. Unless threats are made I cannot see that as being a appropriate response.
Obviously I disagree. If I walk up to some bloke in a pub and call him
"bad things" I fully expect to get punched, rightly so. I have been hit when I deserved it and I've been hit when I haven't; I've hit someone who deserved it and never, in my opinion and that of the authorities, hit someone who hasn't.
I obviously do not suggest violence is a good option, it is almost certainly never one to commit to without trying many other things first. I am also not suggesting that all, or even most, cases of physical abuse are like this. I am suggesting that a decent sized percentage are.
I'm glad you clarified here because I think the previous comments suggest a little differently. As for the number of cases that are like this that would be hard to prove since you'd need to hear the arguments before the act of violence. Even then I still don't believe that those fights would justify violence unless the women directly threatend the mans well being, and even the violence can be avioded.
My previous points merely suggest that violence is an option, not that it is the correct one.
As for your second point, exact-fucking-precise-arse-ly. The point comes down to the fact of whether you believe more men are capable of beating their wives for no reason other than to please themselves or that women are capable of insulting the absolute fuck out of their husbands. Bear in mind this entire point is about cases where it is judged that the woman, or victim of the physical assault, instigated the event that led to her recieving the injury.
Edit: Do not forget that violence against women is a very taboo thing whereas insulting someone is not only not taboo but viewed as normal.
Violence is a part of life, it always will be. This is why charges should be pressed rather than the state directly prosecuting.
On the fence about this. I assume your are saying that state drectly prosecting in the case of women is biased since it does not do the same for men. I don't know if this is what happens or not, so if someone does please provide a link or something. If that is true though then I guess it could go either way, the individual pressing charges or the state, but as long as it is consistent no matter the gender on the victim and the abuser then the system will be equal.
No, I'm not putting forward a judgement on any particular case. My point is that as long as the victim of the physical strike/attack is in control of their mental and physical faculties the decision to prosecute or not depends on them, not the state. This ranges from ABH to GBH to rape to attempted murder.
This is because people sometimes, after having time to cool off, admit to being responsible for the attack in the first place.
Back to my first point here, we are emotional beings before we are logical ones. Violence will always be around.
To declare it inherently illegal is to declare one part of society at a disadvantage to another; as I mentioned before women, in general, have consistently been proved to have superior command of language and emotional understanding as well as the ability to use that to obtain a desired outcome. To block one whilst not blocking the other gives that other an advantage, and how could you stop this advantage anyway?
If I assume your initial premise that women "have superior command of language and emotional understanding as well as the ability to use that to obtain a desired outcome" then I can't really disagree with your statment. Thing is, I don't agree with that premise, I don't think women are inherently superior at using language and using it to get a desired outcome. Women do tend to have better emotional understanding, but they also tend to be more emotional then men. By your argument, yes some women will be able to verbal abuse men easier, some women would also be disadvantage and would be more susceptible to emotional abuse.
I, what? Google it, anything it. I learnt this at school.
Also, more emotional does not mean emotionally weaker, as much as the male psyke would dispute. More emotional simply means more likely to emote and that the strength of that emotion will be more concentrated than that of an average male.
The emotional strength of your average man compared to your average woman can be likened to comparing a brick to a metal rod. The brick is harder but brittle, the rod is strong but can be bent. It takes more to break the brick than bend the rod but, once it's broken it's fucked whereas the bent rod can adapt.
To suggest that physical abuse always causes more harm than verbal and emotional abuse is plain wrong, both can cause horrific damage. Again, if you ban the one that leaves evidence how do you create equality by also stopping the one that leaves no trace?
I not sure how to respond to this. My above post slightly adresses the last point, but for me it comes down to this. I can't agree with your last statment because I do not believe your premise is correct. If you assume it is correct, which obviously you are, then I see your train of thought that leads you to these last two statements, and I can't really disagree.
Well I and, as far as I am aware, the scientific community agree with my premise. Maybe not with my conclusion but with my premise certainly.