I do find that I have to bring my own role playing to RPGs, but since I have the option of doing so, it doesn't bother me. I realized the extent to which I do this during my first and second Skyrim playthroughs.
Initially, I was just playing it like a game. I was maximizing my character with everything available, and not having all that much fun as I was in my early hours with the game where I just took my bow and followed various rivers, knocking down as many deer as I could, turning their hides into clothing to wear and sell, and learning how to improve my weapons.
Once I started collecting Deadric prizes and mastering various magic spells, I felt less like I was playing the character I'd created and more like I was just playing a game.
To this date, I've never finished the first character's main questline.
My second character was basically Conan in Skyrim. He eschewed magic, trusting only his armor, his double handed blade, the skyforge, and his noble steed, which aided him in the knee-capitation of many giants. See, his first steed heroically tried tanking a giant when Koron (Conan spelled sideways, with bad vision?) somehow managed to not die from a giant's attack. Naturally, the giant took out its frustration on the horse. From that moment on, Koron was literally less interested with conversing with an old Dov (or duking it out with Alduin in Sovengarde) than he was with wiping out every single giant in the province.
That's not the core story of Skyrim, but it was for this character.
With this set of choices as my lens, I looked back at other games and realized I always have more fun when I do some version of this. When I just try to play as myself (making decisions in the narrative/skill mechanics) exactly the way I would for myself, the fact I know I'm playing a game gets in the way. I meta-game because I want max xp to make my "me" as bad-ass as possible, because I do not accept that my character (and myself) are less interesting without flaws.
My best times with Skyrim, Morrowind, Mass Effect, Dragon Age, Jade Empire, Knights of the Old Republic, etc come when I make up my mind about who the character will be, and write that story with my actions.
I may be gimping my character, not following questlines or skill trees that would make me more powerful because they don't fit with the established personality I have in mind, but it makes the game more interesting, and more immersing to me.
There is plenty of role playing in RPGs, if you are willing to look for it.