Why can't people be straight forward and not awkward with a conversation?

[Jacob.A.]

Okay here is my thing. Everyone I know other than one guy (how he is better than the rest but still does hold back) not like or is just straight forward with awkward topics; like if you like someone. I did one time went up to a girl and asked her out infront of 8 other people, she said no, I guess it either had to do with 2 things: 1)8 people were standing right there 2)she was already dating someone else. Now going on my gut feeling I would have to say it would be #2, but the funny thing was is that she got really embarrased about saying no and explaining why. In the end I had no problems with it and we still hungout after wards (granted is wasn't till a whole week had gone by).
But what I am trying to get at is why do we feel wierd and awkward when topics that have to do with who likes who or "hows the sex." Just one time I actualy want someone to ask me "when was the last time you masterbated?" And I would give them the answer (without going into detail of what I was thinking). So I would really like feedback on why others get wierd when asked "how was last night" or "was there sex" (kidding around with that last stuff), just some feedback on why this happens cause I am told why but still don't see the reason to be. Its a natural function!(in whispers)

 

[theSovietConnection]

Some people just aren't comfortable talking about certain things for any number of reasons, be it confidence (or lack thereof), their own moral values, or maybe they just want to keep personal stuff personal.

 

[Drakmeire]

because I uhhh. feel that I need to... well, when a person talks they... umm... wait... I lost my train of thought, and Wait it's back... oh nevermind it's gone.. I'll get back to you.

I just get bored with conversations and my mind wanders. or if I'll get a new topic from something someone said and let them finish only to say "now back to *blank*.

 

[demoman_chaos]

I'd rather keep personal stuff to myself, but then again I am one to keep to myself most of the time anyways.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

Mostly because people are terrible, I myself never had any problems with just asking someone out for example. On a somewhat related note however I have been turned down no less then 4 times in a row because 3 of the people in question had started dating someone else less than a week earlier and the fourth was a lesbian. Needless to say this did not do anything to cure me of my cynicism, so nowdays I mostly don't even bother.

 

[Criquefreak]

Controversial, private, and personally risky topics tend to be shyed away from due to an expectation of disapproval. We're social creatures and don't tend to deal well with being shunned or outcast, particularly from people we like.

This particular tendency is amplified by initiating a change in the nature of a personal relationship, such as trying to initiate a romantic-friendship, or discover new avenues of discussion (especially those of more, typically, private nature).

Doesn't help that many of society's factors often view open, honest communication as abnormal (for men at least) and a myriad of topics to be faux pas. Also kind of harmful to treat intimate acts such as sex as joking matter or other things people have strong beliefs in.

Communication is riddled with quite a lot of hidden mines due to individuality, contributed to by background, interests, beliefs, etc. For those of us without sociopathic irregularities of the brain, it's preferable to try and avoid hurting others and maintain good rapaport. So, we're cautious in conversations, even if only to support our own social interests.

 

[joshuaayt]

Love is hard, man!
It's all lack of confidence- "Oh, what if that person thinks this of me, now, and derides me for it? That person's opinion is better than mine, after all"
That's basically it, for me- I suppose I can't talk for everyone.

 

[Omikron009]

Why the hell would you ask someone out if you knew they were dating somebody else?

OT: I appreciate it a lot when people are direct in conversation. It bugs me when people try to skirt around questions. The one exception to this rule, however, is when it comes to personal matters. I find it incredibly rude when people ask question about my private life unless they're close friends or family members. Sometimes even then.

 

[default]

I'm perfectly comfortable talking about sex. It's a beautiful, natural and subtle thing, what's not to love? It's just the stigma we've attached to it.

Plus, it's damn fun.

I'm always straightforward, but I make sure I'm tactical and poetic about it.

So yeah, I talk to girls and guys all the time about sex, just the topic in general.
But yeah, try for some privacy next time you ask someone out.

 

[2fish]

My personal life is based on one word personal. Now there is a difference between talking about my personal life and talking that cute girl in the back row. Confidence is a big issue with many people.

I know people who freeze up when they talk to girls, but to give them credit girls are scary....

 

[Bilbo536]

I just masturbated.

Happy?

 

[Bilbo536]

I think it'd be cool if people were more straightforward.

 

[SimuLord]

Once upon a time I dated a girl with severe Asperger's Syndrome. Like, VERY severe, almost to the point of limited-functioning autism. This left her at a major disadvantage when it came to nuanced conversation. She remains the most delightfully honest, straightforward communicator I have ever had the pleasure of dating and I'm a fool for having let her go.

 

[ultrachicken]

I could barely understand the OP.

Anyways, sometimes I'm fine with giving a straightforward answer, and sometimes not. If I'm at my

house with a close friend who asks me who I "like," I'd probably answer truthfully. However,

today my not-so-close friend asked me if I watched porn. In the middle of a very crowded

cafeteria. At school. I was not pleased, and didn't answer.

 

[kwagamon]

I know several people who speak as frankly as you desire. To a degree I'm like that myself. Trust me, it is NOT as pleasant as it sounds.

For example, one night I needed a ride home from a friend, and a friend of his also needed a ride in the same direction. As a joke, one of the other guys said that the other friend (a girl) got the the front seat to give my friend road-head in exchange for the ride. We all knew it was a joke, including her, but rather than just laugh and let it go, she instead goes into a detailed discussion about specifically why she doesn't like giving blowjobs, stories and all.

Now, I can appreciate being so comfortable and/or confident that you're willing to tell people this is in excruciating detail. I think it takes a large degree of either mental fortitude or total insanity, both of which I like in a person. That does NOT mean this is a good idea. What you ask is not that extreme as what I describe, but it's an incredibly slippery slope. Before I met my incredibly frank best friend, I was what you didn't want out of a conversation. Now, I will actually tell someone, should they ask me, when and where the last time I masturbated was (I only bring this up because you mentioned it). 9/10 times, this will result in the person who asked thoroughly wishing they hadn't asked/hadn't known. And that is why it's a good thing to have people who dodge questions.

 

[Polaris19]

Because some people (Hi) just aren't comfortable talking about that stuff. For me it feels rather personal, and even if it came from a close friend or significant other it'd still be awkward to talk about.

Thats just life. Some people have no problem talking about that stuff.

EDIT: And now I see the actual point of the thread. Got confused...

I dunno. Some people just aren't very charismatic?

 

[Admiral Stukov]

9/10 times, this will result in the person who asked thoroughly wishing they hadn't asked/hadn't known. And that is why it's a good thing to have people who dodge questions.

Another point in my personal "people are stupid" case, why did they ask to begin with if they don't really want to hear the answer?

 

[manic_depressive13]

Because anyone who actually wants to know about that sort of thing is fucking creepy. Why would you care when people masturbate or how their sex life is? Good for you if you enjoy sex but it doesn't exactly make for intelligent conversation. Also, the human body is pretty disgusting. Taking a shit is also natural, but if you feel the need to bring it up at the dinner table people are going to think you're retarded.