Why can't people take a joke?

[Strixvaliano]

I've learned to stop caring about what people think when I talk. If they take my joke the wrong way then they can stamp their feet and pout for all I care. I have a couple of friends whose wives absolutely can't stand my crassness and off humor but they deal with it like adults and just minimize contact with me while I'm around.

On the other side of the spectrum I knew a person for over a decade and he tossed our whole friendship down the drain when the first girl he ever had a relationship with (he was 28 at the time) came into his life after talking to him online for 3 days and began dictating every single aspect of his life. What hours of the day he could play games, what friends he was allowed to talk to, talking to ANY member of the opposite sex was considered almost as bad as the most deviant and heinous orgy that the human race could possible come up with while she would openly and non-discreetly flirt with his friends right in front of his face. I became target #1 on her list because she knew that I was the only one that could convince him to man up and send her back to the vile depths from whence she came. Hell, he would even call me when she wasn't around to cry and complain about how much he hates her and hates his life but he is to scared to push her away because there isn't anyone else out there. To that I say good riddance and haven't spoken to him in years.

Not all women are like that though but to steer back to the original point, man up, you said what you said, and your probably not really sorry for saying what you said so why should you apologize just to make someone who can't/won't handle/understand adult humor and situations feel like they have won something by making you feel bad for them?

 

[Gaderael]

I would suggest not apologizing to the girl. It's a really old common phrase, and nowhere near as offensive as things I've heard over the years. From women. From what you have stated, she seems like the type of person who will lord an apology over your head, knowing that she can pitch a fit and you will cave every time. That's not good. She'll most likely pull that stunt with your friend as well.

Don't apologize, and if she says anything you would deem offensive, call her on it, and call her a hypocrite. I've known people like her, and they usually are.

 

[greenitedaze]

You said a comment or phrase, not a joke, but if thats your joke
you are a comedian for trying to pass it off as one.
As for the surprise you show from her reaction, well thats comedy gold, how stupid are you?
If you value your mate, start being nice and none offensive to her instead of giving your mate
food for thought on why your his friend?!

 

[Tdc2182]

I think people can take a joke.

They just like it more when it's actually funny.

 

[Xan Krieger]

If she doesn't know that phrase she should really get out some more. Tell your friend to not date autistic people. Doesn't end well.

I take offense at that statement. We may not be as up and up on social interaction as neurotypicals, but we are perfectly capable of healthy functional relationships.

I also took offense at the joke and I'm normally hard to offend. Macgyvercas, I fully support what you said and I support that guys suspension.

 

[Paksenarrion]

I was joking with my friends girlfriend how he was mine first and what not, and i said clearly jokingly bros before hoes. She now thinks I called her a whore and her group of friends is mad at me. People need to lighten up and take a joke. Does anyone have any idea what I can do? I had no malicious intentions I was just playing around

You have to say it in an extremely campy voice. And then play tonsil hockey with your friend (her bf) in front of her. And *then* she'll get the joke.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Ehh I don't think "Bros before hoes" is really something you should be saying to your friend's girlfriend in any situation. Whether or not you had an malicious intent, saying that you had her boyfriend first and therefore are above her in his friend status is a really douchey thing to do in my opinion.

Honestly I'm shocked you can't figure out why she is upset. How would you feel if you had a girlfriend and one of her female friends came up to you and was like "haha I knew her first so she likes me more and should pay more attention to me than you". Not nice is it?

 

[Toriver]

OP grow a pair, be a gentleman and apologize. Don't act like an arrogant teenager.

That phrase demonstrates that you don't have "A pair" the fact that you even used that statements shows your ignorance. You also said I'm arrogant which I honestly don't think I demonstrated arrogance at all. I have lost many good friends to chicks that treat them like ship and whip them, sometimes you feel that enough is enough. Any statement can be interpreted many ways, some bad and some good it's just up to the receiving end of the whole deal.

From this statement, it sounds like there's more to what you said than the "bros before hos" comment, and it does sound like you had more of a malicious intent than you're letting on. I would also question your maturity from this response. First you need to ask yourself if you didn't really mean what you said. If you did, and you are, in fact, sorry (which I doubt), than you will have to apologize. If you're not sorry, well, then, I hate to say it, but you deserve every bit of the anger she's throwing at you. As another poster mentioned, calling a woman a "ho" is like calling a black guy the "N-word"; you just don't do that, no matter how many times you hear "pimps" on TV or in rap music saying it.

If you didn't mean it, it would just be better for you to apologize anyway as a social gesture. So she didn't get it. It's not something to make such a big deal and get so stubborn over. Just say, "I didn't really mean to call you a ho, and I'm sorry if what I said offended you," and leave it at that. If she's still angry after that, well, then it really is her problem.

In the future, though, it would be wise to watch what you say around certain people. That's not a PC thing, that's just common courtesy.

 

[Vault boy Eddie]

Because she's an attention whore and she was due for a good "LOOK AT ME EVERYBODY!!" session?

 

[Flare Phoenix]

OP grow a pair, be a gentleman and apologize. Don't act like an arrogant teenager.

That phrase demonstrates that you don't have "A pair" the fact that you even used that statements shows your ignorance. You also said I'm arrogant which I honestly don't think I demonstrated arrogance at all. I have lost many good friends to chicks that treat them like ship and whip them, sometimes you feel that enough is enough. Any statement can be interpreted many ways, some bad and some good it's just up to the receiving end of the whole deal.

From this statement, it sounds like there's more to what you said than the "bros before hos" comment, and it does sound like you had more of a malicious intent than you're letting on. I would also question your maturity from this response. First you need to ask yourself if you didn't really mean what you said. If you did, and you are, in fact, sorry (which I doubt), than you will have to apologize. If you're not sorry, well, then, I hate to say it, but you deserve every bit of the anger she's throwing at you. As another poster mentioned, calling a woman a "ho" is like calling a black guy the "N-word"; you just don't do that, no matter how many times you hear "pimps" on TV or in rap music saying it.

If you didn't mean it, it would just be better for you to apologize anyway as a social gesture. So she didn't get it. It's not something to make such a big deal and get so stubborn over. Just say, "I didn't really mean to call you a ho, and I'm sorry if what I said offended you," and leave it at that. If she's still angry after that, well, then it really is her problem.

In the future, though, it would be wise to watch what you say around certain people. That's not a PC thing, that's just common courtesy.

This. Just because you make a joke doesn't mean everyone around you is going to like it or even get it. Am I the only one who thinks the original poster sounds like a massive douche for bringing it up in the first place? It's a stupid joke (if one could even call it that), and the only reason he is asking about it on here is because he is looking for people to stroke his fragile ego by telling him he did nothing wrong.

 

[Psycho Cat Industries]

If she doesn't know that phrase she should really get out some more. Tell your friend to not date autistic people. Doesn't end well.

I take offense at that statement. We may not be as up and up on social interaction as neurotypicals, but we are perfectly capable of healthy functional relationships.

damn right mate. power to the aspies!we're people to! y'know, except we don't have to try to be different: we already are.which is a good thing.

Amen to that!

*internet fist pound*

I second that religious notion.

 

[Ladette]

Explain that you didn't mean anything by it and apologize. It's possible that she just didn't get the joke, seeing as it's horribly unfunny it'd be easy to miss the....humor. If she didn't get it then she basically thinks you called her a whore. Most woman get a little annoyed when you insinuate that. The fact that you come across as kind of, make that really a douche doesn't help.

You did something stupid, own up to it, and apologize. Acting stubborn and refusing to even make a token gesture is just childish.

 

[theloneassassin]

OP grow a pair, be a gentleman and apologize. Don't act like an arrogant teenager.

That phrase demonstrates that you don't have "A pair" the fact that you even used that statements shows your ignorance. You also said I'm arrogant which I honestly don't think I demonstrated arrogance at all. I have lost many good friends to chicks that treat them like ship and whip them, sometimes you feel that enough is enough. Any statement can be interpreted many ways, some bad and some good it's just up to the receiving end of the whole deal.

From this statement, it sounds like there's more to what you said than the "bros before hos" comment, and it does sound like you had more of a malicious intent than you're letting on. I would also question your maturity from this response. First you need to ask yourself if you didn't really mean what you said. If you did, and you are, in fact, sorry (which I doubt), than you will have to apologize. If you're not sorry, well, then, I hate to say it, but you deserve every bit of the anger she's throwing at you. As another poster mentioned, calling a woman a "ho" is like calling a black guy the "N-word"; you just don't do that, no matter how many times you hear "pimps" on TV or in rap music saying it.

If you didn't mean it, it would just be better for you to apologize anyway as a social gesture. So she didn't get it. It's not something to make such a big deal and get so stubborn over. Just say, "I didn't really mean to call you a ho, and I'm sorry if what I said offended you," and leave it at that. If she's still angry after that, well, then it really is her problem.

In the future, though, it would be wise to watch what you say around certain people. That's not a PC thing, that's just common courtesy.

This. Just because you make a joke doesn't mean everyone around you is going to like it or even get it. Am I the only one who thinks the original poster sounds like a massive douche for bringing it up in the first place? It's a stupid joke (if one could even call it that), and the only reason he is asking about it on here is because he is looking for people to stroke his fragile ego by telling him he did nothing wrong.

It seems like you have a pretty "Fragile Ego" if you have to resort to saying that to someone. I was asking for help because I really did not know what to say to her, when I originally said it, I was not thinking, and I was just seeing about this whole situation, if anyone else had good friends they lost due to girlfriends that "overprotect" their boyfriends.

 

[Da_Vane]

Ignore it. She chose to be offended - let her be offended.

You weren't literally arguing she was a gardening tool, any more than you were arguing your friend was your fraternal sibling or the member of a defunct 80's boy band... http://bit.ly/ilrcty

 

[theloneassassin]

Explain that you didn't mean anything by it and apologize. It's possible that she just didn't get the joke, seeing as it's horribly unfunny it'd be easy to miss the....humor. If she didn't get it then she basically thinks you called her a whore. Most woman get a little annoyed when you insinuate that. The fact that you come across as kind of, make that really a douche doesn't help.

You did something stupid, own up to it, and apologize. Acting stubborn and refusing to even make a token gesture is just childish.

I just explained my true thoughts to her and what I meant when i said it and i apologized and she basically says, "Well he is still mine, he would choose to be my friend over yours any day" I thought that was somewhat immature but I just shut my mouth in fear of another shit-storm.

 

[Ladette]

Explain that you didn't mean anything by it and apologize. It's possible that she just didn't get the joke, seeing as it's horribly unfunny it'd be easy to miss the....humor. If she didn't get it then she basically thinks you called her a whore. Most woman get a little annoyed when you insinuate that. The fact that you come across as kind of, make that really a douche doesn't help.

You did something stupid, own up to it, and apologize. Acting stubborn and refusing to even make a token gesture is just childish.

I just explained my true thoughts to her and what I meant when i said it and i apologized and she basically says, "Well he is still mine, he would choose to be my friend over yours any day" I thought that was somewhat immature but I just shit my mouth in fear of another shit-storm.

Then you made the effort and that's all you can do. Be the bigger man and let her be childish.

 

[theloneassassin]

Explain that you didn't mean anything by it and apologize. It's possible that she just didn't get the joke, seeing as it's horribly unfunny it'd be easy to miss the....humor. If she didn't get it then she basically thinks you called her a whore. Most woman get a little annoyed when you insinuate that. The fact that you come across as kind of, make that really a douche doesn't help.

You did something stupid, own up to it, and apologize. Acting stubborn and refusing to even make a token gesture is just childish.

I just explained my true thoughts to her and what I meant when i said it and i apologized and she basically says, "Well he is still mine, he would choose to be my friend over yours any day" I thought that was somewhat immature but I just shit my mouth in fear of another shit-storm.

Then you made the effort and that's all you can do. Be the bigger man and let her be childish.

Deep down I had this yearning to say so many things but I just said well I will keep my mouth shut and let you be.

 

[SilverUchiha]

<youtube=mHtJfMB5u60>

Just show her this vid. House makes everything better.

 

[Da_Vane]

Ehh I don't think "Bros before hoes" is really something you should be saying to your friend's girlfriend in any situation. Whether or not you had an malicious intent, saying that you had her boyfriend first and therefore are above her in his friend status is a really douchey thing to do in my opinion.

Honestly I'm shocked you can't figure out why she is upset. How would you feel if you had a girlfriend and one of her female friends came up to you and was like "haha I knew her first so she likes me more and should pay more attention to me than you". Not nice is it?

Seriously? Aside the fact that a new measurement of time would have to be devised to calculate the short gap between hearing that and thinking "threesome", you would have to be pretty insecure to get upset over that. It's basically "reading in between the lines" to grasp at some sort of jealousy to rationalize a person's own insecurity.

I've had this happen to me several times - largely because the partner in question is insecure and seeks to control and isolate their other half, seperating them from their friends. In EVERY incidence, it was a short time before they broke up, because of my friend's other half's controlling ways - often to the detriment of the life of my friends.

I've watched them crash and burn, helpless after my friend was turned against me because of the shit of these insecure people, having their lives torn apart by schemers and manipulators that use getting offended rather than resolving their issues as a means of control.

If it was a joke, and you sincerely meant it as a joke, shrug and move on. Keep an eye out. You can try apologising if you like - but it's hard to apologise for something you are not sorry for. After all, if there was no intent to offend, then you can't sincerely apologise for causing offence - you might as well apologise for breathing, and apologise for your own existence. Even then, it probably still won't be good enough if she's chosen to be offended by you.

 

[theloneassassin]

Ehh I don't think "Bros before hoes" is really something you should be saying to your friend's girlfriend in any situation. Whether or not you had an malicious intent, saying that you had her boyfriend first and therefore are above her in his friend status is a really douchey thing to do in my opinion.

Honestly I'm shocked you can't figure out why she is upset. How would you feel if you had a girlfriend and one of her female friends came up to you and was like "haha I knew her first so she likes me more and should pay more attention to me than you". Not nice is it?

Seriously? Aside the fact that a new measurement of time would have to be devised to calculate the short gap between hearing that and thinking "threesome", you would have to be pretty insecure to get upset over that. It's basically "reading in between the lines" to grasp at some sort of jealousy to rationalize a person's own insecurity.

I've had this happen to me several times - largely because the partner in question is insecure and seeks to control and isolate their other half, seperating them from their friends. In EVERY incidence, it was a short time before they broke up, because of my friend's other half's controlling ways - often to the detriment of the life of my friends.

I've watched them crash and burn, helpless after my friend was turned against me because of the shit of these insecure people, having their lives torn apart by schemers and manipulators that use getting offended rather than resolving their issues as a means of control.

If it was a joke, and you sincerely meant it as a joke, shrug and move on. Keep an eye out. You can try apologising if you like - but it's hard to apologise for something you are not sorry for. After all, if there was no intent to offend, then you can't sincerely apologise for causing offence - you might as well apologise for breathing, and apologise for your own existence. Even then, it probably still won't be good enough if she's chosen to be offended by you.

Smartest well thought out response i have seen in a long time, thank you. I am glad you see that there are just some girls who tear apart your friends, and when you try to help or rescue him you are the bad guy. With my friend they wanted to spend their lives together, and said i love you in like a week, they no longer go to the same high school so it's a strictly internet love thing and if he picked her over me I would not believe that we ever had a friendship to begin with. She acts like she was there first before all of his other friends and she was not.