Why do we Have Fetishes?

[BonsaiK]

Something I've always wondered and no one's given me a good answer to. Its usually just, "People just like that stuff" but I want a serious psychological answer.

So, simple question, why do people prefer certain sexual things or find hands or feet sexy? I for one have a typical Asian fetish and my jaw usually drops at the sight of hot Japanese girls, but why? What answers might the Escapist have?

And, for discussion's sake, what fetishes do you have and do you know why? Its the internet so you can be honest.

Fetishes happen through association of certain activities or feelings with other activities or feelings. For instance girls who like a really strong male may have lacked a strong father figure, or maybe they DID have a really strong father figure and part of them subconsciously wants to replicate that again. Whereas girls who don't really care two hoots about that sort of thing may have had a more balanced childhood. Guys who like girls with really big boobs might have a "mother" thing going on deep in their subconscious, maybe they didn't get enough hugs as a child or something. There's all sorts of fetishes and all sorts of reasons for them. Ultimately I don't think the reasons matter much though, as long as people are happy to cater for each other's tastes. When it becomes a problem is when one person has a fetish that the other person finds unacceptable.

I'm not going to discuss my personal fetishes because it would be very explicit and probably cop me a probation or something. Nobody needs to know unless they're planning on sharing my bedroom.

Once again, you've managed at analyzing topics like no other. If so though, where did my fetishes come from?

I like Japanese girls, hands, smooth skin, lingerie, small breasts and glasses. Where the hell did I get all that from?

Japanese girls - it's the idea of experiencing something different, also you like small boobs and that's more the norm with Asian girls, so those two things are probably related. Why Japan in particular - probably just because Japan is trendy. Do you like Korean girls? I personally think Korean girls are way cuter and leave Japanese girls for dead. What about Chinese girls? There's more Chinese girls out there than any other type of girls, they're hot and worth fetishising just because of the numbers and probabilities involved (I'm biased because I'm part-Chinese by the way, but you wouldn't know it by looking at me). Think about it.

Smooth skin - everyone likes that. That's just natural biological response and doesn't even count as a fetish.

Glasses accentuate the eyes which are the window to the soul. It's natural to like girl's eyes, that just means that you like girls and you are interested in how they think. I like glasses too, I like how they make a girl look smarter, due to the long-held cultural stereotype of girls with glasses being all nerdy and shit. I wish girls would leave them on in the bedroom but they never do. The old saying "guys don't make passes at girls with glasses" could never be more incorrect.

Lingerie fetishes often come from watching too much high-budget porn where that's just about all they wear. If you're going to watch porn, amatuer hardcore stuff is better for your brain and overall sexual development than high-budget soft-focus frilly-knickers nonsense that trains your brain to desire situations which will never exist for you. Given a choice, you're better off fetishing stuff than could actually realistically happen to you, so you don't run into "I can only get it up if you wear that particular underwear" performance-related issues down the track.

 

[YoUnG205]

.... Good Question. maybe is got somthing to do with how u is raised?

 

[Julianking93]

Something I've always wondered and no one's given me a good answer to. Its usually just, "People just like that stuff" but I want a serious psychological answer.

So, simple question, why do people prefer certain sexual things or find hands or feet sexy? I for one have a typical Asian fetish and my jaw usually drops at the sight of hot Japanese girls, but why? What answers might the Escapist have?

And, for discussion's sake, what fetishes do you have and do you know why? Its the internet so you can be honest.

Fetishes happen through association of certain activities or feelings with other activities or feelings. For instance girls who like a really strong male may have lacked a strong father figure, or maybe they DID have a really strong father figure and part of them subconsciously wants to replicate that again. Whereas girls who don't really care two hoots about that sort of thing may have had a more balanced childhood. Guys who like girls with really big boobs might have a "mother" thing going on deep in their subconscious, maybe they didn't get enough hugs as a child or something. There's all sorts of fetishes and all sorts of reasons for them. Ultimately I don't think the reasons matter much though, as long as people are happy to cater for each other's tastes. When it becomes a problem is when one person has a fetish that the other person finds unacceptable.

I'm not going to discuss my personal fetishes because it would be very explicit and probably cop me a probation or something. Nobody needs to know unless they're planning on sharing my bedroom.

Once again, you've managed at analyzing topics like no other. If so though, where did my fetishes come from?

I like Japanese girls, hands, smooth skin, lingerie, small breasts and glasses. Where the hell did I get all that from?

Japanese girls - it's the idea of experiencing something different, also you like small boobs and that's more the norm with Asian girls, so those two things are probably related. Why Japan in particular - probably just because Japan is trendy. Do you like Korean girls? I personally think Korean girls are way cuter and leave Japanese girls for dead. What about Chinese girls? There's more Chinese girls out there than any other type of girls, they're hot and worth fetishising just because of the numbers and probabilities involved (I'm biased because I'm part-Chinese by the way, but you wouldn't know it by looking at me). Think about it.

Smooth skin - everyone likes that. That's just natural biological response and doesn't even count as a fetish.

Glasses accentuate the eyes which are the window to the soul. It's natural to like girl's eyes, that just means that you like girls and you are interested in how they think. I like glasses too, I like how they make a girl look smarter, due to the long-held cultural stereotype of girls with glasses being all nerdy and shit. I wish girls would leave them on in the bedroom but they never do. The old saying "guys don't make passes at girls with glasses" could never be more incorrect.

Lingerie fetishes often come from watching too much high-budget porn where that's just about all they wear. If you're going to watch porn, amatuer hardcore stuff is better for your brain and overall sexual development than high-budget soft-focus frilly-knickers nonsense that trains your brain to desire situations which will never exist for you. Given a choice, you're better off fetishing stuff than could actually realistically happen to you, so you don't run into "I can only get it up if you wear that particular underwear" performance-related issues down the track.

True, Japanese (and all Asian girls) have smaller boobs in general. I just don't like large breasts. They're too big, its almost guaranteed they're gonna sag later in life and they're just too much for me. And when you asked if I like Korean or Chinese girls, I really just meant all Asian in general. But to be honest, and I don't want to sound like I'm stereotyping or racist, but I can't tell the difference between Chinese, Korean or Japanese. If you could show me the differences and what makes others hotter, that'd be great.

My love for smooth skin goes deeper than just a biological response. I really really love smooth skin on women. Its almost like a security thing for me, I guess because, as I said, one of my favorite things is to hold and cuddle with a girl, and the smoothness of her skin increases that sensation of holding and being held to me. Its almost like I feel safer with a girl who has smoother skin.

Though, I think you're spot on with the glasses thing. They make a girl look smarter, more mature and a bit more independent. If there are a line of the most beautiful women in the world and I happen to see an attractive girl walk by who wears glasses, I'll go for her instead. And who says they don't leave them on in the bedroom?

And about the lingerie. Thing is, I don't watch a lot of porn. In fact, none really. I'm a nerd when it comes to porn. When I use pornography, I'm usually reading it in the form of erotica and short stories . But I probably shouldn't have said lingerie, instead, I should have just said underwear. I find a girl in just a bra and panties extremely arousing. They don't even have to be fancy lace underwear either. And, btw, her choice of underwear most likely wont inhibit my ability to get aroused unless they're like Granny Panties or something. Ew...

 

[Shurikens and Lightning]

The Italian language usually reduces me to mush. I don't know why, it just does. Not exactly sexual but I don't exactly have experience in that area.

Do you jizz yourself every five minutes in Assassins creed 2?

OT: I dont have a fetish more extreme then thinking, wow asian lesbians are really hot.

 

[TheDoctor455]

I think it has something to do with a subconscious desire, one that is buried deep, and thus we are usually unaware of it until we see it for the first time.

 

[Numb1lp]

Who cares, that's their deal. Don't worry about it.

 

[BonsaiK]

True, Japanese (and all Asian girls) have smaller boobs in general. I just don't like large breasts. They're too big, its almost guaranteed they're gonna sag later in life and they're just too much for me. And when you asked if I like Korean or Chinese girls, I really just meant all Asian in general. But to be honest, and I don't want to sound like I'm stereotyping or racist, but I can't tell the difference between Chinese, Korean or Japanese. If you could show me the differences and what makes others hotter, that'd be great.

My love for smooth skin goes deeper than just a biological response. I really really love smooth skin on women. Its almost like a security thing for me, I guess because, as I said, one of my favorite things is to hold and cuddle with a girl, and the smoothness of her skin increases that sensation of holding and being held to me. Its almost like I feel safer with a girl who has smoother skin.

Though, I think you're spot on with the glasses thing. They make a girl look smarter, more mature and a bit more independent. If there are a line of the most beautiful women in the world and I happen to see an attractive girl walk by who wears glasses, I'll go for her instead. And who says they don't leave them on in the bedroom?

And about the lingerie. Thing is, I don't watch a lot of porn. In fact, none really. I'm a nerd when it comes to porn. When I use pornography, I'm usually reading it in the form of erotica and short stories . But I probably shouldn't have said lingerie, instead, I should have just said underwear. I find a girl in just a bra and panties extremely arousing. They don't even have to be fancy lace underwear either. And, btw, her choice of underwear most likely wont inhibit my ability to get aroused unless they're like Granny Panties or something. Ew...

Japanese girls all have really hard, square jawlines that I don't like. Korean girls (and guys too!) have cute, round faces and some of them have lips that would make Angelina Jolie feel inadequate.

I really don't have strong feelings about underwear (just gets in the way), but then what I do like is all the other clothes girls wear. I like it when girls leave clothes on during sex, because the implied message there is "I find you so sexy and want to jump your bones so much that taking my clothes off is just too much hassle and takes too much time that I could spend touching you instead". I think perhaps with underwear, clothes etc it's also the idea that something is still hidden... the more something is hidden, the more fascinating it becomes...

I really do like big boobs though, the more curves the better. Even really fat girls I quite like as long as they are also busty. A little bit of sagging is fine too, I don't care about that. I guess everyone's different...

Please tell me the secret to making girls leave their glasses on in the bedroom! I specifically ask them to do it and they absolutely will not. They say "they'll get wrecked" and I say "okay, I'll buy you a cheap pair" and they still won't do it. Even when I mention the obvious benefits in terms of eye protection. You can help me here, just for a little twist. (Girls who wear glasses feel free to chime in here with your opinions, too.)

 

[Asturiel]

To be honest this sounds like "Why do we tick?". However I believe with my knowledge of jackshit at my disposal that it's really something that should set us off to find the best mate for us. Were animals after all and these fetishes are really what is whats pointing us in the right direction for procreation since the reason we are here is to have babies and continue the species.

 

[T3h Merc]

I think it's a seeing of similarities in another and desiring to unify yourself with that. I'm not sure if I'm right. I also use that one for 'True Love'.

 

[Spacelord]

Freud was never a psychologist. He was a psychoanalyst. The two sound the same but are entirely unrelated.

I don't know what ass you're pulling your information out of, but:

Main Entry: psy·chol·o·gy
Pronunciation: \-jē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural psy·chol·o·gies
Etymology: New Latin psychologia, from psych- + -logia -logy
Date: 1653
1 : the science of mind and behavior
2 a : the mental or behavioral characteristics of an individual or group b : the study of mind and behavior in relation to a particular field of knowledge or activity
3 : a theory or system of psychology
? psy·chol·o·gist \-jist\ noun

Any source you go to ever will tell you that Psychoanlysis is a branch of psychology. Don't make shit up on the internet.

*sigh* Well, not every source, really. My textbook, for one, disagrees. But I'm sure the internet is a much better source than university literature.

On that note: if you look closely at the definition of psychology you so deftly copy/pasted, you'll see that there are multiple definitions of the word. I was referring to psychology as a science (that's number 1 right there), while you appear to assume that words have universal connotations regardless of context. This is, however, not the case. For instance: ****** [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/******]. No, that wasn't an insult, it's an example of how one word can have multiple meanings. I could be talking about a homosexual, or a bundle of twigs.

All right, class dismissed! ^^

Edit: also the first definition is a bit crap to begin with. It's highly debatable whether psychologists can actually even observe a concept like the 'mind', and whether it even exists. So far psychological scientists have been most concerned with just the behavior part.

 

[Dinosaur_Face]

after reading too much manga and watched too much anime i've gotten the three fetishes so far school suit,swim suit and girls wearing nothing but an apron

 

[Queen Michael]

My fetishes?
Mind control, very big breasts, feet, and otters. One of these is a joke.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

On this topic...I'm not a psychologist, so I can't answer the "why."

I'd just like to make it clear for everyone that neither can the psychologists.

Psychologists can only speculate, but never present any scientific evidence as to the exact reasons why we have fetishes.

The answer is hidden somewhere in the construction of our brains.

So if you ever hear any academic stooge saying that he/she's got the answer as to why we have fetishes, then please check with your local neurobiologist first. If the neurobiologist say that it's not certain or that the academic stooge in question couldn't know for sure, then it's safe to assume that the academic stooge is full of shit.

(interesting fact: most psychologists are academic stooges who vomit forth far from scientific facts, but often try to pass off their "research" as "science". Always take what a psychologist say with a grain of salt)

 

[Atmos Duality]

Good job necromancing a topic nearly two years old.
I actually remember reading this back when I lurked, but eh, details.

My fetishes? Eh. I'm hetereosexual, and I find our lack of wings...disturbing.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

after reading too much manga and watched too much anime i've gotten the three fetishes so far school suit,swim suit and girls wearing nothing but an apron

It seems you have a...

necro-fetish

*Bad-um tish*

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

SNIP

Jules, I barely understand my own brain! How am I supposed to hazard a guess to why a lot of people have fetishes?!

Just the way we are wired methinks. I don't have a science answer for you

[sub]Also Catgirls, as you very well know [/sub]

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

My fetishes?
Mind control, very big breasts, feet, and otters. One of these is a joke.

And we'll never know which one is the joke! D:

[sub]My guess? Big breasts.[/sub]

 

[Rnr1224]

i think it fits in almost the same category as sexual orientation.

 

[TheDooD]

You know what they say. Different strokes for different folks... That saying can also be applied as to why there are so many different types of condoms.

This pretty much @ the whole thread and please you condoms kids.

 

[Dinosaur_Face]

after reading too much manga and watched too much anime i've gotten the three fetishes so far school suit,swim suit and girls wearing nothing but an apron

It seems you have a...

necro-fetish

*Bad-um tish*

I don't get it, necro is entirely different