Why Does Nothing I Do Work? Please Help Me

[jhlip]

Please fellow Escapists, I need help. It seems like everything single thing I do just fails or falls apart and I look around me and I see people who don't even care and yet everything is just fucking fine. I am pre-med, and the students I compete with only study about a third as much as I do and yet they still do better than me. I don't sleep or socialize anymore, all I do is study and yet the jerk offs who couldn't give a shit about anything have all of that and do better than me. Not only that, but I see people around me who don't even try to improve themselves or strive to be a better person, and they are happier than me. For example, my ***** of an ex, who, to explain why she's my ex really quickly, is one of the worst people I have EVER come to known, and this is coming from a guy who has been physically assaulted for his religious beliefs. She is dating this guy who's not a bad guy but he's a spineless pushover with no personality and is only dating her cause she wants to date him. Yet everything is fucking great between the two of them. She's happy and he's happy, I know what a horrible person she is, people know why I ended things with the woman and NO ONE SEEMS TO GIVE A FUCK. They just ignore the fact that she tried to turn me into her little slave and try to change everything about my personality so that she could have her little slave just as she wanted. How the fuck does that happen? Huh? I try to better myself in every way I can every single day of my life and this woman wouldn't even pour piss on my head if my hair was on fire. Yet she's happy? She gets to have someone care about her day and still be a heart-less, selfish, insecure, immature and manipulative ***** while I sit alone every night studying fucking molecules. I'm not saying I am entitled to anything, or at least I hope that's not what I am saying but come on, how can things just not work out for me but for everyone who doesn't even try they do? I know there are tough times in everyone's life and that I need to push through it, continue to work hard and stay positive so that it can all work out in the end, but I can't come to grips with the fact that right now, despite everything I do and all of the energy I put into every aspect of my life, it is all meaningless because it isn't making a single difference. Can someone please tell me why? If any of you even have so much as an idea why or have any words to help me feel better please just tell me cause I have gone on for far too long not knowing, and trying to act as if it'll be fine in the end but I can't take it anymore. I am as close to the breaking point as I have ever been so please, if you have anything to say, say it.

 

[Sovereignty]

Ah, you should space out your post more to get more responses. I'm not psychologist, but your fixation on competition seems (just from what you've posted) to be pretty overboard. I know I was like that when I was still in college.

You've gotta stop focusing on other people and mind your own things more. Some people are just inclined to be better at certain things.

As for your ex, I always keep this in mind with regards to those ex's I despised at the end.

I am just glad to have washed my hands of them. You need to separate yourself from people who make you feel like shit. Your ex obviously was one of those people. Why are you so interested in if she's happy or not? Do you think for a split second that in all honesty you'd know if their relationship was miserable?

I'll tell you right now, you wouldn't. Your outside view only see's what they choose to show/share. And to be completely honest you shouldn't even be too worried about how they're doing anyway. If you seriously loathe her, then I don't expect you to wish happiness for her, but you're out of her life now. Does it matter what she does?

If you think it's because you shared circles of friends, or you can't avoid seeing/talking to her... Well you can. Trust me. You're in a developmental phase of your life. You've got plenty more years coming up, and there will be tons more people who piss you off. Don't waste so much energy being upset.



After all, when life gives you lemons... Say $!%# the lemons and bail.

 

[])rStrangelove]

1. You're concentrating on her too much. She's gone. She wouldn't 'waste' any more thoughts on you. Now do the same, forget her and start thinking about your life.

2. You don't sleep or sozialize anymore because your thoughts of her are blocking your brain. You study far harder than others because it stops you from thinking of her for a certain time. But you're not superman, no one is. If you study more than others your concentration/brain power needs to spread far wider and looses strength when just seeing 1 thing.
Concentrate on things that really matter and do them right instead of trying too much and loosing focus. That, and fix 1. first.