WHY SELF HARM??

[twiceworn]

Ok so my brother has been dating a girl for a while now and she has recently started cuting herself and nothing he or anyone else can say will convince here to stop and it got me thinking, WHY DO PEOPLE SELF HARM?
i really cant see a reason or any kind of justification for that kind of thing as in my opinoin (no offence to anyone) if somone is making you unhappy (abuse ,rape and so on) kill them or leave!.It has to be better than harming yourself and letting it coninue, and if its your friends GET NEW ONES!!

ok sorry for the rant but thats my opinion. can anyone tell me why people do that kind of thing and if you think there is any justification in harmimg yourself instead of others??
any comments would be much appreciated.

 

[Catchy Slogan]

FOR ATTENTION.

But, in all seriousness I don't really know. Maybe they're masochists? Maybe it's a desperate cry for help? Meh.

On a slighlty related note, my brother once dated someone who cut "I'm fine" into her arm. Yeah. Sure you are.

EDIT: Damn. John Marcone pretty much sums up my view on the thing.

 

[Crystalite]

You do know that harming others has consequences, yes?
That it is not ok to go and kill people, just because you don´t like them?
These consequences are real, they land you in jail.

Apart from that: Everyone is entitled to their own body, to do with as they please. If this woman you speak of is an adult, it is no ones business but hers.
If she is hurting your brother, it is his business if he wants to put up with it or not.
If she is just fishing for attention, don´t give it.
If she genuinely needs help, wait for her to ask for it in an adult manner.
Thats really all there is to it.

 

[EllEzDee]

People self harm out of greed. From what i've heard, a leprechaun pays 32% of his gold to the self harmers. The reason they won't tell you why is because you'd never believe them if they told you about the leprechaun's offer. They "suffer" their own wrath in silence for the greater good (gold).

 

[Nifty]

Ok so my brother has been dating a girl for a while now and she has recently started cuting herself and nothing he or anyone else can say will convince here to stop and it got me thinking, WHY DO PEOPLE SELF HARM?
i really cant see a reason or any kind of justification for that kind of thing as in my opinoin (no offence to anyone) if somone is making you unhappy (abuse ,rape and so on) kill them or leave!.It has to be better than harming yourself and letting it coninue, and if its your friends GET NEW ONES!!

ok sorry for the rant but thats my opinion. can anyone tell me why people do that kind of thing and if you think there is any justification in harmimg yourself instead of others??
any comments would be much appreciated.

People have their own reasons for self harming and it's not your business to try and understand it because you don't get it.

 

[Thaluikhain]

It's generally associated with a mental disorder of some kind. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-harm

It is not nearly as simple as you believe.

An unhelpful answer, but yeah, it's a massively complex issue. More or less anything to do with psychology is.

 

[goldendriger]

Attension, or pity. I remember when my exGF carved my name into her forearm with a knife and came to show me...Yeah, make of self harm what you will from that statement

 

[priestswearseatbelts]

Attention.

/end thread

 

[Vault101]

not everyone does it for attention....

Bsically I heard they do it for different reasons

adrenaline rush, they get some kind of high from it, and for some reason it helps them cope with emotional pain I dont know mabye puts it into a physical form they can deal with

 

[Broax]

In my opinion one of the biggest reasons is too call for attention... But I'm not saying she's a total EmoB***! Far from it...

I think there are a lot of reasons why one would do such a thing... But the biggest one is a call for attention (imo ofc). She might have problems no one know... Problems no one dreams! She might feel guilty for something (this is a way for her to feel she's being absolved), etc. If it's due to abuse or threats or whatever she might feel powerless and is afraid to speak up. This way her loved ones take notice that something is wrong and will get involved. It depends on a lot of things (most of the times its the result of unconscient processes) and giving away reasons without knowing the person is a bit of cheap psychology trick. View this as a mere listing and not as a deduction or whatnot. (Also -Very Important- I'm not a psychologist...)

Of course there is a chance of being a spoiled emo crying for attention (obvious it crosses my mind) but since I don't know her I won't jump to that conclusion (just stating the possibility).

If you want to know a bit more try wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-harm).

Hope she gets better soon.

 

[TheEndlessSleep]

It's not always for attention, although sometimes it is.

IMPORTANT DISTINCTION:

1). If they wear long sleeves and lots of bangles or gloves and stuff to hide it - they have a genuine problem.

2). If they have it on show all the time - they're doing it for attention.

Don't just generalise before you know the facts people, this is why some genuine self-harmers dont get help, because people think they're just attention seekers.

 

[TheEndlessSleep]

 

[TheEndlessSleep]

 

[Boris Goodenough]

It's to mask the psychological pain in part, now the reasons for the psychological pain...

 

[twiceworn]

Ok so my brother has been dating a girl for a while now and she has recently started cuting herself and nothing he or anyone else can say will convince here to stop and it got me thinking, WHY DO PEOPLE SELF HARM?
i really cant see a reason or any kind of justification for that kind of thing as in my opinoin (no offence to anyone) if somone is making you unhappy (abuse ,rape and so on) kill them or leave!.It has to be better than harming yourself and letting it coninue, and if its your friends GET NEW ONES!!

ok sorry for the rant but thats my opinion. can anyone tell me why people do that kind of thing and if you think there is any justification in harmimg yourself instead of others??
any comments would be much appreciated.

People have their own reasons for self harming and it's not your business to try and understand it because you don't get it.

Are you a self harmer? i have already had some good replys:

It's generally associated with a mental disorder of some kind. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-harm

It is not nearly as simple as you believe.

And your suggestion to harm others is generally unsupportable and criminal.

and yours is by far the least helpfull, i asked for answers NOT TROLLS
(And to the criminal part i was talking fo self defence)

 

[Psymon138]

It varies from person to person. Some people are just idiots who want attention. For others, it's more serious. Several people I know have harmed themselves over the years, including my girlfriend.

In her case, I think it's tied into her self esteem problems. I found out about it after we had a big fight about half a year into the relationship. Basically, she blamed herself for the fight and felt that she NEEDED to punish herself. So she got something sharp and scratched her arm up. Only superficial cuts, but noticeable. She admits it doesn't make any logical sense, but apparently it's very difficult to stop if she gets really upset.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Simple. They want attention. Thats all it is. "Oh boo hoo, poor me, I am so trouble and deep and emotional that the only way I can express it is by giving myself these pussy ass little scratches!"

The people who really self harm, not the attention seeking fuckbags, the ones who are actually troubled, you really do not find out that they do it.
But anyway, I can not answer for those people.

This is how I see it, although, I probably would have written it a bit more politely but both ways get the message across.

 

[twiceworn]

People saying attention?

For the most part, yes. All people who self harm? No, fuck yourself and take that opinion and shove it up your judgemental arse. If you see three black people being stupid do you then infer that all black people are thick? No.

30 second rant time. Cause I have shit to do.

Psychological Reasons: Any form of release due to a situation being ontop of your ability to cope. It helps some people get away from things. If you are in a situation you cannot control on any level then exerting ANY control becomes the aim, self harm is many times a form of taking control, even if it is over something so bleak. The same reasoning is why some people end up annorexic.

Physiological Reasons: It releases endorphins. Why do people wank? Endorphins. Why do people drink? Endorphins. Why do people cut? Endorphins. Everything comes down to endorphins, which are incredibly addictive.

And speaking of myself. Its not just an attention thing with a hell of a lot of people. My family does not know, my friends do not know, I, Like many others, hide it away. You see that friend of yours who wears long sleeves all the time, regardless of the weather? You ever stop and think? Many people do not notice annorexics because they wear baggy clothes, you dont notice every self-harmer because hell, they hide it too.

Anyone who thinks its all due to attention should fuck themselves. Or maybe stop and think. Maybe if someone has got to the point where they slice open their face/arm/leg/chest you should ask them why they do it, get their own, personal answer, for it differs for everyone who does. If someone is so desperate for attention, give them a hug dont judge them.

Attention is less then half of it.

Ok so my brother has been dating a girl for a while now and she has recently started cuting herself and nothing he or anyone else can say will convince here to stop and it got me thinking, WHY DO PEOPLE SELF HARM?
i really cant see a reason or any kind of justification for that kind of thing as in my opinoin (no offence to anyone) if somone is making you unhappy (abuse ,rape and so on) kill them or leave!.It has to be better than harming yourself and letting it coninue, and if its your friends GET NEW ONES!!

ok sorry for the rant but thats my opinion. can anyone tell me why people do that kind of thing and if you think there is any justification in harmimg yourself instead of others??
any comments would be much appreciated.

"Leave" At age 13 I lived with my alcoholic father and clinically depressed mother. I was in a country with NO SOCIAL CARE WHATSOEVER. So how was I too leave? Or am I a unique case, magically? People all over the world are in situations OUT OF THEIR CONTROL.

Be understanding of people with mental health issues.

And offtopic? This thread is the definition of tinder. I will probably get flamed for my post, as will anyone else who tried to defend people who self harm. So please, try me. If so much as one of you starts to think about the issue slightly more I will consider myself to be successful.

THANK YOU!!
this is the kind of post i was hoping for, a well thought out reply from somone who knows what it is all about.
So my question to you is what if people find out and are worried about you? what if people want you to be ok without cutting yourself what is your reply to that and overall what about being ok without self harm is that possible for you or not?
and my final question are you going to seek help if it is a Physiological Reason?
thanks for the clear post

 

[Outright Villainy]

"Attention" is not some catch all term you can use to dismiss everyone who self harms.

I've been told from several people it's one of those things you can focus on to distract from the other problems you have, or it's just a way of controlling something, when the rest of their life seems out of their control.

There's many reasons, and rushing to judgement to dismiss it because, hell, that's what everyone fucking does with anybody else has problems, is fucking childish.

-snip-

Basically, he said it better than I ever could.

 

[twiceworn]

@twiceworn

If people find out and are worried about me? Well, I dont know. Most of my close friends and my family know I used to so I guess it is not a shock. As for people wanting me to be ok without cutting myself? Well, I also want the same. Like most cutters, self harmers, annorexics or whatever, I dont want to be the way I am.

For most of the people who self harm they are not ok regardless, self harm is just part of them not being ok. Unlike some I am seeing a psych about my issues. I am currently 19, been cutting on and off since I was 13, its an addiction like any other. I am also a chain smoker.

I dunno what else to say.

once again thanks for your frank replys and for the information im glad you are seeking help and i wish you luck.