Why Technobabble Makes Star Trek Suck

[PiCroft]

The Federation had the most inept security force in the known universe. Someone with a toothpick, a Gameboy Advance and a bit of sticky-back plastic could overthrow the Captians commands and lock out everyon from the main computer.

Seriously, how the hell did humanity surivive with such crap security measures?

Can anyone name me an instance when "Seal the shuttlebay doors!" or "Block their transport attempt!" or "Lock them out of the computer!" actually worked?

 

[Lvl 64 Klutz]

Having tried to watch several Star Trek episodes over the years, I can't help but agree with the article. I liken it to the same problem I have with the show House.

House has some really funny and dramatic moments and I think I could like it. However, I just can't get into it because every episode is just one long string of the characters spouting off different (and increasingly obscure) diseases/conditions that almost no one in the viewing audience would understand. It's uninteresting to me because being able to follow along and know what's being said is crucial to a TV show for me.

Shows like House and Star Trek basically just sit there and say "Everything you're hearing is correct, just trust us." I find that House's medical "mysteries" are just a vehicle for portraying the characters and their relationships, similar to Star Trek's "tech".

House: "It's not medical! There was no medical on the medical test!"
Foreman: "In some cases, it has been shown that medical isn't always linked to medical. We should test the medical, and find out if the are any medical present."

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if that's what the first draft looked like.

 

[wadark]

House: "It's not medical! There was no medical on the medical test!"
Foreman: "In some cases, it has been shown that medical isn't always linked to medical. We should test the medical, and find out if the are any medical present."

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if that's what the first draft looked like.

Whew, and I was afraid no one would agree with me. Seriously, though, Hugh Laurie does a great job in his role, and I like the characters and the relationships that go on, but that makes up about 10-15% of any given episode with the rest consisting of basically just that dialogue.

 

[Cowabungaa]

That, says Stross, is "the antithesis of everything I enjoy in an SF novel." Science fiction, explained Stross, is interesting because it has the ability to explore "the human condition under circumstances that we can conceive of existing, but which don't currently exist."

I see his point, and very much agree with it. And that's exactly why I'm such a MAAAAAASSIVE fanboy of Battlestar Galactica, that's exactly what Battlestar is: a story about humanity, unlike Star Trek. And to think that the guy who wrote for Star Trek also wrote my much loved re-imagined Battlestar series. He must've gone through some big ass revelation.

But still: Picard is awesome.

Be careful what you wish for...

Generations... *Shudder*

I liked that movie. I'd totally watch it, too.

.... Ok I really want to see that now. They're just so awesome.

 

[wadark]

Dave Chappelle: You know what I can't stand? [Racist_Comment]! A [Racist_Comment] can't get a [Expletive][Expletive] in this country without some [Racist_Comment][Racist_Comment][Racist Comment] getting all [Expletive][Racist_Comment] about his [Racist_Comment][Expletive][Racist Comment]. Damn, stupid [Racist_Comment]...

Is this "mad lib"-style dialogue becoming the norm for TV now?

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

This guy really needs to reverse the polarity on his deflector shield.

 

[WhiteTiger225]

................................................................... Star Trek's technobabble makes it suck? I think the millions, maybe billions of fans would disagree XD

Also, technobabble sure didn't prevent our primitive ancestors from enjoying good ol flash gordon or other sci-fi movies where technobabble was EXTREMELY prominent.

At that, sadly, Most of the Technobabble actually is relevant. When they mention Dilithium crystals, you know they are mentioning something that has to do with the warp core.

Now move on to Stargate, ANOTHER technobabble heavy movie + series and you will see they LOVE their technobabble, and so do the fans, and at that, their technobabble is literally just random shit off the top of the actress' head (It's not scripted she has stated, she just thinks up random technical terms and strings them together ) and the series can easily rival star trek.

By inserting random words into the script as (tech), what good does that do to establish characters in a society that should be irrevocably changed by this advanced technology? It doesn't do that at all, says Stross. "You could strip out the 25th century tech in Star Trek and replace it with 18th century tech - make the Enterprise a man o'war (with a particularly eccentric crew) at large upon the seven seas during the age of sail - without changing the scripts significantly."

You know what? I'd actually probably watch that.

What the shows ex writer seems to not realize is.... THATS EXACTLY WHAT STAR TREK FUCKING IS! god ignorance pisses me right the hell off XD

Star Trek is pretty much navy in space. They are submarines with cushier insides. Thats why Picard to me was always better then anyone else, he really captured the feel of a classic naval captain, voyaging to new lands, and encountering the many cultures there were.

Next that writer is going to say "Well star trek should have based the alien species on actual real life cultures or races" Or maybe claim that Star wars should have mixed themes like the Civil War, Samurai, And Cowboys....

 

[WhiteTiger225]

House: "It's not medical! There was no medical on the medical test!"
Foreman: "In some cases, it has been shown that medical isn't always linked to medical. We should test the medical, and find out if the are any medical present."

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if that's what the first draft looked like.

Whew, and I was afraid no one would agree with me. Seriously, though, Hugh Laurie does a great job in his role, and I like the characters and the relationships that go on, but that makes up about 10-15% of any given episode with the rest consisting of basically just that dialogue.

If technobabble, obscure, or made up disease, and long dialouge bores you... I am betting your favorite shows are Jack Ass and any PBS show.

Watch a war movie, watch a horror movie, watch a sports movie, watch an action movie, watch any sci-fi movie, watch a drama.. there will always be some sort of babble in it.

And how the fuck are you expecting a Medical Drama show NOT to be based heavily on dialouge? What? Does your shows comedic moments then consist of people taking pies to the face? Dry humor is dialouge heavy so you MUST hate that... I bet you would dread listening to a Comedian do standup XD

 

[rize]

House: "It's not medical! There was no medical on the medical test!"
Foreman: "In some cases, it has been shown that medical isn't always linked to medical. We should test the medical, and find out if the are any medical present."

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if that's what the first draft looked like.

Whew, and I was afraid no one would agree with me. Seriously, though, Hugh Laurie does a great job in his role, and I like the characters and the relationships that go on, but that makes up about 10-15% of any given episode with the rest consisting of basically just that dialogue.

House is pretty formulaic, but it seems like there are a lot of jokes referencing the medical babble, and even if 99% of viewers don't understand it, I have a feeling it IS based on actual medical conditions. By the end of the show they've carefully explained whatever condition it was.

In ST they just make **** up. I'm not saying that they don't just insert into the script, but replacing that with real words is probably a multi-part process that requires a lot more work than an episode of ST.

 

[New York Patrick]

And that was why Firefly was so damn good... (but clearly not good enough for FOX)

Well... Fox is kinda notorious for cancelling reletivally good shows...

 

[Valiance]

And that is why most of the original episodes were not about that kind of thing...

 

[wadark]

If technobabble, obscure, or made up disease, and long dialouge bores you... I am betting your favorite shows are Jack Ass and any PBS show.

Watch a war movie, watch a horror movie, watch a sports movie, watch an action movie, watch any sci-fi movie, watch a drama.. there will always be some sort of babble in it.

And how the fuck are you expecting a Medical Drama show NOT to be based heavily on dialouge? What? Does your shows comedic moments then consist of people taking pies to the face? Dry humor is dialouge heavy so you MUST hate that... I bet you would dread listening to a Comedian do standup XD

Every single thing you just claimed about me is incorrect. Jackass is freaking stupid (appropriately), and I don't care for PBS. Of course there is a bit of technobabble in basically everything, but that doesn't mean it has to make up 75%+ of a show.

I'm not expecting a medical drama to NOT have heavily medical dialogue. But having appropriately themed dialogue does NOT mean having a whole bunch of ridiculously technical jargon that only someone familiar with that terminology would understand (that's the definition of technobabble). I watched ER for years and was able to understand the MEDICAL in the medical drama with little to no trouble. I watch House and can't follow a damn thing because they use such obscure diseases, symptoms, and treatments that it might as well be, as someone said: "We should test the medical to see if there's any medical in the medical." Because that's all I hear.

Long story, short is: There's a difference between "appropriate dialogue" and "technobabble".

Appropriate dialogue is using correct terminology for your subject matter but using terms in a way that people can reasonably understand. This DOES NOT mean making your show 100% laymens-termed and being dumbed down.

Technobabble is using correct terminology for your subject matter but using obscure terms and language that only someone who has extensive training in your subject will understand.

 

[wadark]

House is pretty formulaic, but it seems like there are a lot of jokes referencing the medical babble, and even if 99% of viewers don't understand it, I have a feeling it IS based on actual medical conditions. By the end of the show they've carefully explained whatever condition it was.

In ST they just make **** up. I'm not saying that they don't just insert into the script, but replacing that with real words is probably a multi-part process that requires a lot more work than an episode of ST.

Oh, I totally agree. House is very smart, and they probably do copious amounts of research when replacing the "medical" in their dialogue. However, even if what they do is correct, that doesn't make it any easier to understand or get into for me.

Sorry for double post.

 

[WhiteTiger225]

OH SHIT! Reverse the polarity. That always works.

Yeah, Trek goes overboard. I like Galactica because it's real. There are phones, and keyboards, and locks on the door. The Star Trek comm system, absurd keyless computer interface (LCARS), and lets not forget the two-dimensional nature of space in Trek... All these things detract from the show. And why can you fly the entire ship from the captain's chair some times? If any computer can control any system, why the need for a bridge. Why doesn't Picard command from the shower, or why isn't the helm in engineering where all hell always breaks loose?

Yep, because we don't have keyless interfaces nowadays, so I-Phones... I mean LCARS aren't realistic.
And yes we all know 2-Dimensional nature of space is not at all realistic, and it can't possible be plot, and it COULDN'T be the fact it is to keep things easier to understand.
And non-phone communications? BLASPHEMY! Bluetooth doesn't exist!

I am sorry but you self defeated yourself. Engineering terminals are in engineering so the engineers can work in the engine room without having to run up to the bridge to type in a simple request for a can of polish. Captain Picard HAS commanded from other rooms and the bathroom on occasion, but as a federation (Naval) captain, his duty is to be on the bridge and command if it is possible.
Picard commands from his bridge because it is the rules. Star Fleet follows naval rules basically. And why multiple terminals? Well since all hell breaks loose in the engine room a lot.. why would you put your captain in there to be potentially killed? And why would you put 1 terminal in 1 place to control the ship which means if it gets damaged, you're fucked?

 

[WhiteTiger225]

House is pretty formulaic, but it seems like there are a lot of jokes referencing the medical babble, and even if 99% of viewers don't understand it, I have a feeling it IS based on actual medical conditions. By the end of the show they've carefully explained whatever condition it was.

In ST they just make **** up. I'm not saying that they don't just insert into the script, but replacing that with real words is probably a multi-part process that requires a lot more work than an episode of ST.

Oh, I totally agree. House is very smart, and they probably do copious amounts of research when replacing the "medical" in their dialogue. However, even if what they do is correct, that doesn't make it any easier to understand or get into for me.

Sorry for double post.

^ This

Not to mention as of ST: TG the technobabble has meaning if you actually listen to it.
Plasma Conduits will be plasma conduits, Dilithium crystals will be needed for the warp engine and power, etc.

The only thing they DO NOT explain, is when they are in warp (Beyond the speed of light) how are they firing lasers and not running into them? XD

 

[wadark]

Yep, because we don't have keyless interfaces nowadays, so I-Phones... I mean LCARS aren't realistic.
And yes we all know 2-Dimensional nature of space is not at all realistic, and it can't possible be plot, and it COULDN'T be the fact it is to keep things easier to understand.
And non-phone communications? BLASPHEMY! Bluetooth doesn't exist!

I am sorry but you self defeated yourself. Engineering terminals are in engineering so the engineers can work in the engine room without having to run up to the bridge to type in a simple request for a can of polish. Captain Picard HAS commanded from other rooms and the bathroom on occasion, but as a federation (Naval) captain, his duty is to be on the bridge and command if it is possible.
Picard commands from his bridge because it is the rules. Star Fleet follows naval rules basically. And why multiple terminals? Well since all hell breaks loose in the engine room a lot.. why would you put your captain in there to be potentially killed? And why would you put 1 terminal in 1 place to control the ship which means if it gets damaged, you're fucked?

Just have to say, your sarcasm isn't very helpful to any discussion.

And Bluetooth is not "non-phone". Bluetooth is still your phone, its just a wireless mic/speaker. You can't use Bluetooth without a phone.

 

[Kiutu]

I <3 my imagination. This guy...does not.

 

[WhiteTiger225]

If technobabble, obscure, or made up disease, and long dialouge bores you... I am betting your favorite shows are Jack Ass and any PBS show.

Watch a war movie, watch a horror movie, watch a sports movie, watch an action movie, watch any sci-fi movie, watch a drama.. there will always be some sort of babble in it.

And how the fuck are you expecting a Medical Drama show NOT to be based heavily on dialouge? What? Does your shows comedic moments then consist of people taking pies to the face? Dry humor is dialouge heavy so you MUST hate that... I bet you would dread listening to a Comedian do standup XD

Every single thing you just claimed about me is incorrect. Jackass is freaking stupid (appropriately), and I don't care for PBS. Of course there is a bit of technobabble in basically everything, but that doesn't mean it has to make up 75%+ of a show.

I'm not expecting a medical drama to NOT have heavily medical dialogue. But having appropriately themed dialogue does NOT mean having a whole bunch of ridiculously technical jargon that only someone familiar with that terminology would understand (that's the definition of technobabble). I watched ER for years and was able to understand the MEDICAL in the medical drama with little to no trouble. I watch House and can't follow a damn thing because they use such obscure diseases, symptoms, and treatments that it might as well be, as someone said: "We should test the medical to see if there's any medical in the medical." Because that's all I hear.

Long story, short is: There's a difference between "appropriate dialogue" and "technobabble".

Appropriate dialogue is using correct terminology for your subject matter but using terms in a way that people can reasonably understand. This DOES NOT mean making your show 100% laymens-termed and being dumbed down.

Technobabble is using correct terminology for your subject matter but using obscure terms and language that only someone who has extensive training in your subject will understand.

Yes, because in ER when they give 10ccs of painkiller to a 3rd degree burned adult.. then go on to give the SAME dose to a child with a scraped knee, that's not at ALL unrealistic and nonsensical.

And I mean, it would be PERFECTLY interesting to watch house take on "The COMMON COOOOOOOOLD! Ooooooooo" or "THE FLU BUUUUUUUUG! MUAHAHAHA!" or "Upset stomaaaaaaach!" instead of an exotic disease that you never heard of.

And as many have stated, the Star Trek Technobabble DOES have consistency AND makes sense if you pay attention to the show rather then shutting off your mind the moment someone says something you might only vaguely know. Hell, at the age of 12 I understood it!

But what do I expect from people on a video game parody site based on jokes most non-gamers or people who haven't played the joke won't get and therefore won't be entertained by... *Hint Hint*