Wish optimization thread

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Rowan93

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Alright, this is more or less a typical wish-making thread, a genie appears before you and says they'll grant you three wishes, and you can't wish for more wishes. The spin on it is, I'm not particularly interested in your second and third wishes, I want you to make the first wish good.

Things you'll have to consider:
- The "genie" could actually be someone pulling a prank on you, or otherwise not an omnipotent wish-granter. You want to find out if that's the case, and you want to keep your wish short and snappy so that you at least don't seem like you planned your wish in advance like a total sperglord. Also, best not to make it too weird in case you get mocked about it forever.

- The genie could also be absolutely psychotically evil, like the one in Wishmaster (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/Wishmaster), or it could be the Robin Williams one (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Disney/Aladdin). How much are you going to worry about this possibility? How are you going to account for possible reinterpretations while keeping things short?

- Obviously, you want to get as much happiness/goodness/fun/positive utility from the wish as possible, along with the above things.

Now, another wish optimization thing: My typical second wish can be summed up as "adventure", although obviously I would unpack that into a lot more words so that, among other things, I can rule out the interpretations along the lines of "death is the greatest adventure". If you decided you wanted to wish for adventure, how would you specify that? What genre, etc. would you want to be in, and how much of the storyline would you actually set out in advance?

Also, it kind of annoys me how everyone wishes for omnipotence, or tries to find a way to wish for more wishes. They're basically the same outcome, which is a sort of boring one.
 

Esotera

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I'd wish for five less wishes, just to see what happened. Would the universe implode?

I'd probably just go with £100 million in cash, and save the other two wishes for a rainy day.
 

Lokoloshe

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Esotera said:
I'd probably just go with £100 million in cash, and save the other two wishes for a rainy day.
Hmm that's going to be tough to justify on a tax return...
 

Musette

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Apr 19, 2010
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I'd either wish for a certain amount of money for choice percussion equipment, or I'd just wish for an unbreakable rosewood marimba.
 

Ljs1121

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I would wish for omnipotence, thus rendering the other two wishes irrelevant.

I win? :D
 

God'sFist

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i would wish for a gate to any genre i choose.

captcha- which one is smallest?

maybe the blue one?
 

Asita

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I wish for a Big Mac and a large Coke. Tells me most of what I need to know right there. If the result is anything like this:

Then I'm clearly not going to get what I want whether or not they have powers and might as well not bother.
 

C F

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I'd wish for a sword.

The type and quality of the sword and method of delivery (whether or not it was simply given to me or given to me point first) will determine the character and credibility of the genie.
 

Shinsei-J

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Apr 28, 2011
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The power to do wibbly wobbly timie wimey things.
See how the genie interpates that.

Nah, on a serious note I'd probably wish to have perpetually perfectly healthy body.
Yay no more illness, ever. The effects of this will vary genie to genie but I feel I'll at least be cured of illness.
 

ImperialSunlight

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I wish I had the power to grant my own wishes with magic, without being a genie or otherwise bound to the will of another.
C F said:
I'd wish for a sword.

The type and quality of the sword and method of delivery (whether or not it was simply given to me or given to me point first) will determine the character and credibility of the genie.
He could just stab you with a sword and you would have the sword... in your stomach. And you would die. It just doesn't seem like the safest test is all.
 

Alternative

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theemporer said:
I wish I had the power to grant my own wishes with magic, without being a genie or otherwise bound to the will of another.
C F said:
I'd wish for a sword.

The type and quality of the sword and method of delivery (whether or not it was simply given to me or given to me point first) will determine the character and credibility of the genie.
He could just stab you with a sword and you would have the sword... in your stomach. And you would die. It just doesn't seem like the safest test is all.
Or the genie could summon up what appears to be a magnificent sword to lul you into a false sense of security. Then when you touch the hilt of the sword you rapidly age and die because its cursed.
 

Zaik

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#1 wish is "I wish all rules preventing wishing for unlimited wishes to be null and void."
 

Asita

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Zaik said:
#1 wish is "I wish all rules preventing wishing for unlimited wishes to be null and void."
Ok, so you can make the wish and have it count as one of your wishes, but how do you plan for the genie to get around the rules preventing him/her from granting that wish?
 

Zaik

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Asita said:
Zaik said:
#1 wish is "I wish all rules preventing wishing for unlimited wishes to be null and void."
Ok, so you can make the wish and have it count as one of your wishes, but how do you plan for the genie to get around the rules preventing him/her from granting that wish?
Simple, if wish #1 does not work for any reason other than "you can't do that", then you're dealing with a "trickster" style genie and the only winning move is to not play at all.

It's basic tropes, just as basic as the couple who have sex in a horror movie always getting killed.
 

Ruedyn

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I wish to become a genie, to show this fucker how it's done. The next to wishes will be for him to

1) fuck off

2) and die
 

FalloutJack

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Nov 20, 2008
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Wish for things that couldn't possibly go wrong.

"I wish all my enemies had a real pain in the neck."

No matter how you interpret that, something bad happens to all of my enemies.
 

Esotera

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Feliperm said:
Hmm that's going to be tough to justify on a tax return...
Then my second wish will be for nobody questioning my obviously false tax return. Or maybe I'll just use an offshore scheme.
 

C F

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Alternative said:
theemporer said:
I wish I had the power to grant my own wishes with magic, without being a genie or otherwise bound to the will of another.
C F said:
I'd wish for a sword.

The type and quality of the sword and method of delivery (whether or not it was simply given to me or given to me point first) will determine the character and credibility of the genie.
He could just stab you with a sword and you would have the sword... in your stomach. And you would die. It just doesn't seem like the safest test is all.
Or the genie could summon up what appears to be a magnificent sword to lul you into a false sense of security. Then when you touch the hilt of the sword you rapidly age and die because its cursed.
You know what? I'll take my chances. To be honest, being offed by a genie with a (magic) sword is a pretty awesome way to die.

On the one hand, I could be dead within a couple minutes because of a treacherous genie.
On the other hand, I could get a sweet sword from a legitimate genie who's prepared to offer me two more wishes.

I'm sure there's a better way to optimize this test for my safety, but I've always liked swords.