Women, and their attraction to jerks.
- Thread starter TheLefty
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Those girls are awesome. I'm dating one right now. Also, *massive generalization for humor's sake* they are all total freaks in the sack.TheLefty said:
Sigh, It's simplicity itself. Girls (particularily hot girls/highschool girls) want to be liked and have oodles of insecurities. Nice guy approach means they get someone telling them they're nice so they think "Cool, he's pretty nice". asshat approach means the girl has someone there who inexplicably doesn't like them, they think how do I make him like me? Why doesn't he like me? Omg etc. therefore sex and obsession
mystery solved (it's even more true the hotter the girl)
mystery solved (it's even more true the hotter the girl)
Seems to me that douchebags have high self confidence.
Looks like the guy above me just said the same thing! But mainly, it's a confidence issue. I'm not sure where the line gets drawn though, does high self confidence make you a douchebag?
Luckily, since presumably we're all a bunch of nerds around here, we would go around classing ourselves as 'nice guys'.
Good! Groundwork done.
Confidence can be learned. I was really quite insular during school, but later found out that everybody else is pretty much just like me, and will definitely talk to someone who talks to them.
Top tips!
-Think of it like an rpg in reverse. It starts off difficult and gets easier as it goes along.
This is true of a lot of life and sucks, which is one of the reasons we play lots of games with a learning curve that's not retarded.
-Similarly, saying the opening hello to somebody you don't know is much, much, much harder than every other sentence you say after that. Just do it, you have nothing to lose!
-Make sure that you have a large and readily available supply of funny/interesting stories to tell people when you meet them.
If you're talking to girls, don't relate anything gaming related. You might luck out and get a hot gamer girl with a nice personality, but you probably won't.
If you don't have any non-gaming-related stories, go out and get some!
Embellishing kind of lame stories to make them better is definitely fine, just keep track of them so that "One time I went to my friend's house and he got totally smashed and tried to wear a plant on his head" doesn't turn into "OH GOD MY FRIEND GOT SO DRUNK LAST NIGHT AND HAD SEX WITH A FLOWERPOT".
A friend who will probably meet your new friend later.
-Nobody judges you nearly as much as you'd think, and not nearly as much as they judge themselves. Your average person is so worried about what other people think of them that they don't have time to judge other people. Use this to your advantage! Talk to everyone for those crucial +1 internal confidence points that will make everything much easier as it goes along.
-Sit next to the girls who are sitting on their own. Everyone likes somebody to talk to, and they're much the same as anyone else. Of course, if they turn out to be shallow and vapid, use them or leave.
You can usually judge how friendly they'll be by whether they're smiling or not when they say hi back.
-If you're a virgin, leave your morality at the door. The first time doesn't matter (although if it does, bonus!). Make sure to keep your standards on your person at all times, although they will decay rapidly while drunk.
-Flirt, but don't be sleazy. Actually, don't be too nice either, that's even worse. Otherwise it'll be that long, fast track straight to the friend zone that I'm sure we've all experienced.
Learn from the douchebags, but don't be a douchebag. Girls aren't innocent little flowers any more, after all.
-Finally, facebook stalking is an accepted and necessary part of modern life. Don't feel bad for finding out her age and whether she's single or not!
tl;dr
Talk to everybody, meet new people, and always have a story to tell.
Looks like the guy above me just said the same thing! But mainly, it's a confidence issue. I'm not sure where the line gets drawn though, does high self confidence make you a douchebag?
Luckily, since presumably we're all a bunch of nerds around here, we would go around classing ourselves as 'nice guys'.
Good! Groundwork done.
Confidence can be learned. I was really quite insular during school, but later found out that everybody else is pretty much just like me, and will definitely talk to someone who talks to them.
Top tips!
-Think of it like an rpg in reverse. It starts off difficult and gets easier as it goes along.
This is true of a lot of life and sucks, which is one of the reasons we play lots of games with a learning curve that's not retarded.
-Similarly, saying the opening hello to somebody you don't know is much, much, much harder than every other sentence you say after that. Just do it, you have nothing to lose!
-Make sure that you have a large and readily available supply of funny/interesting stories to tell people when you meet them.
If you're talking to girls, don't relate anything gaming related. You might luck out and get a hot gamer girl with a nice personality, but you probably won't.
If you don't have any non-gaming-related stories, go out and get some!
Embellishing kind of lame stories to make them better is definitely fine, just keep track of them so that "One time I went to my friend's house and he got totally smashed and tried to wear a plant on his head" doesn't turn into "OH GOD MY FRIEND GOT SO DRUNK LAST NIGHT AND HAD SEX WITH A FLOWERPOT".
A friend who will probably meet your new friend later.
-Nobody judges you nearly as much as you'd think, and not nearly as much as they judge themselves. Your average person is so worried about what other people think of them that they don't have time to judge other people. Use this to your advantage! Talk to everyone for those crucial +1 internal confidence points that will make everything much easier as it goes along.
-Sit next to the girls who are sitting on their own. Everyone likes somebody to talk to, and they're much the same as anyone else. Of course, if they turn out to be shallow and vapid, use them or leave.
You can usually judge how friendly they'll be by whether they're smiling or not when they say hi back.
-If you're a virgin, leave your morality at the door. The first time doesn't matter (although if it does, bonus!). Make sure to keep your standards on your person at all times, although they will decay rapidly while drunk.
-Flirt, but don't be sleazy. Actually, don't be too nice either, that's even worse. Otherwise it'll be that long, fast track straight to the friend zone that I'm sure we've all experienced.
Learn from the douchebags, but don't be a douchebag. Girls aren't innocent little flowers any more, after all.
-Finally, facebook stalking is an accepted and necessary part of modern life. Don't feel bad for finding out her age and whether she's single or not!
tl;dr
Talk to everybody, meet new people, and always have a story to tell.
QFT.A Playful Shark said:
Yes, yes we are.UberCharlie said:
thanks for noticing.I saw your disclaimer earlier in the thread, that this isn't meant to apply to ALL girls. ... but people keep applying it like that.
Personally, I'd reverse the question and ask why guys seem to be attracted to the bitches. You know the ones.
I have never been attracted to a jerk for anything more than physicality. Yeah, they can be hot. But I much prefer the nice guys, as does pretty much every girl I know.
My boyfriend is a 'nice guy'. And I'm the lucky 'nice girl' who managed to catch his eye.
I get stuck in that pool a lot. I always try to be good friends with the people i fall for, which leads to them seeing me as the good guy-friend they can talk to their relationship problems with to get a "male perspective" on it. (which, 99% of the guys they talk about, are total assholes, who i honestly can't figure out why they do what they do...)wolfister said:
Anyways, It happens quite a bit, especially at the younger ages. I'd say its just ignorance but it keeps happening, to the same girls by the same guys, they know what's going to happen and keep going back.
It might be trying to be with the "popular" guys for the high school/college girls, but... I don't think that could be it.
That's actually one of the tactics some guys use to pick up women. Start up a conversation, play along nicely, but make little comments about how her friend is hotter or something to undermine her self esteem. These subtle little comments make them feel so desperate to get your approval they'll do anything to please you.Paulie92 said:
Obviously a total dick move, but only works if they don't know what's going on.
Mostly because these guys actually go up to them and ask them out and have what is known as confidence. It may be viewed as cockiness as well, but when they do get the girl, you really only have yourself to blame. You may very well end up hurting a girl in the same manner these "jerks" have, but you'll feel you're in the right as well as these guys probably do.
Can I ask one question out of curiosity. Why is it always the male's task to do the courting and never the female?
Dude, you did something that nobody else has ever done, you not only ninja'd me, but said it 1000x better then I ever could.TehJammers said:
Because nice guys are insecure...
I read that on the internet. But it applies to me, and it explains why my last "relationship" derailed after a solid three days of sweet passion.
I also read somewhere that it's an evolutionary mechanism. And thats the reason that the jerks are fewer in number, but more girls still want them, because it wouldn't work if everyone was a jerk. The specific reasons for attraction have to do with simply with the urge to reproduce, and jerks are much more into that, rather then actually caring for the girl, but thats the jealousy in me talking.
GLOBAL SEX MANIA FOLLOWS
I read that on the internet. But it applies to me, and it explains why my last "relationship" derailed after a solid three days of sweet passion.
I also read somewhere that it's an evolutionary mechanism. And thats the reason that the jerks are fewer in number, but more girls still want them, because it wouldn't work if everyone was a jerk. The specific reasons for attraction have to do with simply with the urge to reproduce, and jerks are much more into that, rather then actually caring for the girl, but thats the jealousy in me talking.
GLOBAL SEX MANIA FOLLOWS
Society.Solo Wing Pixy said:
As a trade-off, males can go to the toilet on their own, get over things in a short space of time, and don't bleed from the crotch every month.
I think we've got the good deal here.
