Work situation is uncomfortable, what do I do?

[cookyy2k]

I'm posting this here because I can't decide where it goes, if it should be in the advice section can a mod please move it, thanks.

I'm a research physicist at a large company. A couple of weeks ago I was put on a new project with what we refer to as "industrial staff" that is staff who don't necessarily have formal qualifications but are trained (and very good at it) to maintain/build machinery etc.

The problem is there is a touch of "culture clash" going on. They make a lot of sexist/racist/homophobic jokes/references which they all get great amusement from and they have "sexy" playing cards/calendars/posters everywhere. It makes me very uncomfortable though, they think me uptight because I don't laugh or join in.

I have tried talking to the project manager (industrial staff) and my direct manager (physicist) and both have just said it's the way it is and I should try to join in and be "one of the lads". I am not against fitting in, I am against stooping to those sorts of things to fit in. I don't feel as though I can say anything to the group as I am required to work with these people and I can't switch projects because it will reflect poorly on me (the project is one of my "performance indicators").

I don't really know what I can do. If I go higher I risk upsetting my direct manager and the project manager by going over their heads(both have the same direct manager). I am becoming ostracized from the group slowly and that will effect my performance before long, which will be seen as me being the "weak link" in the project. Also fall out with one of these guys on a personal level and you have no chance of getting them to do anything for you. Thus far it is being seen by everyone as my problem since I am the only one who has this problem the rest are all fine with it.

Does anyone have any suggestions of what I could do? So far it's just been grin and bear it.

 

[Nickolai77]

It's a temporary project, in which case i'd just wear a false smile and endure until the projects complete. I understand that getting on socially with your colleagues is important, but what's more important is that you complete the project. If you take a highly task-focused approach then your managers can't shoot you down for not performing to standards, you've just got to make it clear to them you're working. They don't really care if you get on with the industrial staff, they just want you to finish the project.

 

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

Just pretend, put a facade on and be sexist and stupid and make them like you. Think of it as tricking them rather than stooping to their level.

 

[mbarker]

My team runs into people like you at least once every other month. Working in an animal care facility for some time I have often ran in to PhDs, Drs and research scientists that get temporarily placed with us for the duration of a research project, and not liked how we do things.

I can say we don't go to the extremes of the Industrial staff at your facility, but one way to get us all to not like you really fast is to start complaining about how we keep house.

We have been audited on several occasions because a researcher did not like how we did things (we adhere to very strict guidelines and take pride in how we care for the lab animals and the immaculate condition we keep the facilities in) and it becomes insulting.

If the language and other offensive content were there before you, you shouldn't try to change everything to fit your sensibilities. Having a supervisor talk to them to get them to change their practices is just going to invite a world of trouble for you, culture clash will be the least of your concerns.

 

[JimB]

I think all you can do is hold on tight to your principles and be the change you want to see in the office. Don't preach, because that just turns people against you; just do your best to behave in ways that will let you sleep at night. Until you can learn to control how others behave, that's about all you can do in this world.

Sorry, dude. I wish I had more satisfying advice.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

You could keep avoiding them. If you smile and wave hello and keep up with your common courtesy, they'll just see you as quiet rather than rude. In addition to that, work hard and you can't be faulted for being lazy. You'll be viewed as a busy bee, but most employers don't really mind that. At the end of the day, it's your boss you want to impress, not your co-workers.

 

[Psykoma]

If the language and other offensive content were there before you, you shouldn't try to change everything to fit your sensibilities.

Bull. Shit.


OP: Personally, if this company has a code of conduct/ethics (willing to bet they do) that these people are breaching (willing to bet they are), highlight the offenses and bring it to your managers. If they don't do anything, go over their heads.

Don't sacrifice your morals, and the moral standards all those employees agreed to follow (if there's a code of conduct) for the sake of "how it's always been done".

-Internal Auditor

 

[Psykoma]

You know, I'd want to give advice like that, except there's how this will affect the OP to consider. Can you really be sure that will be for the best for his job? Unless the he can get assigned to another project without it reflecting poorly it seems like, while it'd be good for the work environment and future employees working with them, may not be so good for him.

I can understand that, it's just what I would do.

It boils down to a balancing act between the importance of the job and the enjoyment of the job.

Personally, I would act as I wrote, while others (as exampled above) wouldn't. It's a difference in perspective, but at the end of the day the OP has to weigh the scale reflecting his own values and priorities.