Worst Comeback You've Ever Heard

[Brown Cap]

Simple Question: What is the worst comeback that you, personally have ever heard.

Back in grade school, there was a conversation I had with my friend on the bus discussing another person we didn't much care for. It just so happened that his friend was right in front of us.
And so, the friend of our antagonist said to my friend,
"Dude, you're such a dick, when I look down at my dick at night, I can only think of you."

 

[Jux]

Are you sure that wasn't a love confession? I can't think of any bad comebacks off the top of my head, most of the comebacks I hear are either plain and unimaginative, or very witty.

 

[Asuka Soryu]

I'm reminded of Tommy Boy.

"Your head has a thick candy shell."

"Well, your head is the one with a... thick shell..."

Something along those lines.


Hmm, what I can think of:

"No, you are!"

"Nun-uh"

and "I know you are, but what am I?"

 

[barbzilla]

Uh Yeah...

Seriously, that is the worst comeback I've ever heard. By that I mean the first two words of my post (as I am not sure how clear that was). I don't remember the situation, but I live in the south and the person I was arguing with was the product of our school system's need to push people through keeping the failure rate low. I made an offhand comment about him in such a way that he wasn't sure what I had said, and his response was "Uh... yeah...". I am pretty sure it was an attempt to make a comeback, but my initial comment left him flabbergasted. I can't be sure though, he may have thought I said something complementary and was agreeing with me without understanding the true context.

 

[Jack Joe Tip Toe]

One time my friends were having a Yo mama battle and one said "Man yo mama like popsicles and biscuits!" but the worst one I've heard that is just plain terrible is "You're so damn ugly that if you search up Brandon in Google you get a picture of poop!"

 

[CAPTCHA]

I can't think of a bad one, but I got a laugh the other day from this.

My bro-in-law was trying to convince me to eat some sliced chedder with pilchards on it, claiming it tasted great. He offers it to me and I say, "I dunno, what's the catch?"

*bu'dum tish*

 

[YingDerpington]

I think I can speak for many when I say one of the worst, most pointless, most annoying comebacks must be "no u" and any variations on this.
"I know you are but what am I"
"no you are"
and all the variations unto infinity.

 

[Gothproxy]

Worst comeback: "Yeah...Yeah? Well, f**k you!!"

Think he lost just on originality alone.

 

[KoudelkaMorgan]

The comeback in the OP is definitely the worst comeback I've ever heard. Even "well...fuck you! Ha!" would have been better.

Its not something that I would think immediately springs to mind, so it was probably their go to for sounding cool in an argument or something. Which makes it even lamer.

Of course they could have thought it up on the spot, but either way...TMI.