Worst Game Reviewers?

[thesilentman]

IGN has to win some award for this. Their actual reviews (no scores; I never base purchases on them, just see them to get an idea) are bland, COD-biased, and often just make no sense. Seriously, how is a high difficulty curve always a bad thing? And being as different as possible is a crime too, bunch of IGNorent fucks. I found Metro 2033's and Gravity Rush's reviews as biased as possible. Metro 2033 had good things with small things bad, but...

IGN-"It's not like COD! 6.9!"

I don't mind the score, but the review made all the small things sound like annoyances. I thought 'reviewers's opinions,' but hoo boy did Gravity Rush prove infuriate me. Seriously? 10 for Uncharted Vita and 7.5 for Gravity Rush!? Cause it was gimmicky? Bull. Fucking. Shit.

 

[Signa]

I wouldn't have had an opinion if I had not seen this video:

Wait, are you saying the Kotaku guy is bad or that Chip and Ironicus are bad? Cause you really didn't make yourself clear.

I would have thought it was obvious.

I didn't even know who these Chip and Ironicus guys were, someone just linked me a video showing what a sham Kotaku is.

 

[Jitters Caffeine]

I wouldn't have had an opinion if I had not seen this video:

Wait, are you saying the Kotaku guy is bad or that Chip and Ironicus are bad? Cause you really didn't make yourself clear.

I would have thought it was obvious.

I didn't even know who these Chip and Ironicus guys were, someone just linked me a video showing what a sham Kotaku is.

A lot of people have their anuses set aflame when Retsupurae gets involved with anything. Who's to know you're not a regular Kotaku-thing who got all pissy when Chip and Ironicus Retsu'd this guy?

 

[lithiumvocals]

User reviews(the kind found on Metacritic and similar sites).

Fuck user reviews. Hyperbole-laden, mostly uninformative, and often contain many spelling/grammar errors that make them unreadable. There is honestly nothing I trust less than user reviews.

 

[Mirroga]

Spoony: Never explains why he doesn't like a movie, he just makes fun of it and then claim to be a critic.

-Worst game reviews.
"Spoony reviews movies badly."
lolwut

If you go through his Ultima series he actually does quite well explaining why he loves the old games and why the new ones have been getting progressively worse.

OT: Can't spell ignorance witho-okay, you know the joke.
But seriously, their God Hand review was done by someone who admitted they gave up on the first level (I think) because it was too hard and they said it was bad because. The shit.

I think it's just that they think Spoony would make every review as specific or as analyzed as his beloved Ultima Retrospective.

Let's just say some people have a hard time knowing the "comedy critics" to actual "serious reviewers." Let's just say I don't even bother with serious reviews and just have fun watching people hate on something that's either fan-trolling or hate-bandwagon.

 

[Bocaj2000]

All of them. A better question is "are there any GOOD game reviewers?" Most of these reviews are plot summaries and gameplay summaries- that's it.

Angry Joe is the only one that comes to mind as a good one: he is the ONLY reviewer I have seen that gave valid criticism for Brink (I will get into this upon request. I'm not going to waste my time if no one cares), and for that he is cemented in my mind as a good reviewer.

 

[Something Amyss]

Not quite the reviewer per se, but the controversy surrounding it: Gamespots review of the first Kayne and Lynch. The reviewer basically got fired as Gamespot had the games ads plastered on its website and he gave it a 6/10. Obviously, the publisher wasn't happy about this. It makes me doubt pretty much all of Gamespots professional reviews.

To be fair, most game mags won't piss off their advertisers. most media is subject to this, but gaming moreso because gaming mags tend to advertise almost exclusively to gamers. The Times can afford to piss of Pringles, because they are not a snack food paper with a niche with the snack food market. MTV can afford to lose, I don't know, Jiffy Lube, because they are not an auto channel with advertisements only aimed at auto concerns.

This tips the balance of power in the gaming media well in the favour of the advertisers to begin with. Gerstmann may be the most obvious case, but he's not the exception.

 

[Something Amyss]

You can't spell ignorant without IGN. All the scores they throw out don't seem to have anything holding them up. You're saying every game in the COD series was perfect IGN? Bah.

Call of Duty 4:Modern Warfare for the xbox360 9.4 IGN
Call of Duty:World at War for the xbox360 9.2 IGN
Call of Duty:Modern Warfare 2 for the xbox360 9.5 IGN
Call of Duty:Black Ops for the xbox360 8.5 IGN
Call of Duty:Modern Warfare for the xbox360 9.0 IGN

OH MY GOD LOOK AT ALL THOSE PERFECT REVIEW SCORES IGN GAVE TO ALL THE CALL OF DUTY GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!

To be fair, he just spouted the ridiculous "You can't spell ignorant without IGN" meme, so....

 

[RaikuFA]

Lessee:

Tommy Tallarico: "I hate every game made from Japan and if I didn't work on it or it dosen't have blood and guts then it starts at 6. Did I mention SSB games deserve a 3 cause Kirbys in it. also, I'm 100% right cause my cousions Steven Tyler."

Kotaku: "Durr, I'm gonna give Xenoblade a lower score cause entitled brats wanted it to be localized, meanwhile if you ever looked at a Famitsu review, you're an idiot cause they don't count cause they're from Japan. Oh and we're gonna tell people that BULLIES NEVER THROW THE FIRST PUNCH!!! Jurnsm."

X-Play: "JRPGS ARE FOR LOSERS!!! COD IS WHERE IS AT BRO!!! LOOK WE HAVE ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WITH NO PERSONALITY ON OUR SHOW CAUSE ALL GAMERS ARE 13 YEAR OLDS!!!"

Though the last one can be applied to all other magazine reviewers nowadays.

 

[The Scotsman72]

You can't spell ignorant without IGN. All the scores they throw out don't seem to have anything holding them up. You're saying every game in the COD series was perfect IGN? Bah.

Call of Duty 4:Modern Warfare for the xbox360 9.4 IGN
Call of Duty:World at War for the xbox360 9.2 IGN
Call of Duty:Modern Warfare 2 for the xbox360 9.5 IGN
Call of Duty:Black Ops for the xbox360 8.5 IGN
Call of Duty:Modern Warfare for the xbox360 9.0 IGN

OH MY GOD LOOK AT ALL THOSE PERFECT REVIEW SCORES IGN GAVE TO ALL THE CALL OF DUTY GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!

Those are still very good scores for games that, in my opinion, don't deserve them for being mindless shooters with no depth. IGN enjoys jumping on the bandwagon to please all it's suscribers and viewers instead of giving a game the score it deserves. Also, keep an eye on your caps lock next time.

 

[Random Argument Man]

I wouldn't call Bob Chipman as the "Game overthinker" a "reviewer", but more of a commentator. Although, he has an opinion and just says it regardless if it creates controversy. Although, I really wish that he stopped using that "the 90s sucked" picture in The Big picture. He hates the 90s and the only explanation he had was " I was a teenager and I hated my teenage years WAAAAAH T_T". .. Seriously. He could do better than that.


My personnal anti-reviewer beef would be screwattack since I really hate the "self-declared authority" types.

 

[Newby_Newb]

That reviewer on The Escapist who gave Dragon Age 2 a 10/10.

 

[spartandude]

Angry Joe is the only one that comes to mind as a good one: he is the ONLY reviewer I have seen that gave valid criticism for Brink (I will get into this upon request. I'm not going to waste my time if no one cares), and for that he is cemented in my mind as a good reviewer.

i agree hes one of the only good reviewers out there (there are a few more but cant name any off the top of my head) even though i disagree with him on somethings (brink being an example, i liked that game) he gives good reviews