Worst Game Reviewers?

[Sheppard]

Metacritic. Good in theory, has turned into Hell in practice. I think we all know how.

Also, this guy [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view]. Yeah, this guy. Dunderhead.

How come when I click on the "this guy" link, it takes me to my account? I didn't think I was THAT important enough to be included with the worst game reviewers.

It's true though. Most game critics are very, very weird in their perceptions of the latest, and the oldest, games. They tend to nitpick on things that aren't worth nitpicking, or don't go into the flaws which really hinder a game. Even the best critics have these flaws, but at least their opinions are intelligent and thorough.

Sadly, most game companies are not fearless or bold enough to create a game that's impressive enough that can stand on its own merits. Bribing critic sites for high reviews is a sign of insecurity.

Dude, I was thinking the same thing.

 

[spartandude]

Also, this guy [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view]. Yeah, this guy. Dunderhead.

Why the hell are you linking to my profile for? I don't review games. Never have.

dude that guy does amazing reviews, always gets it right and i never disagree with his scores

 

[neonsword13-ops]

How come when I click on the "this guy" link, it takes me to my account? I didn't think I was THAT important enough to be included with the worst game reviewers.

I get sent to my account clicking the same link. Something wrong with it.

It's a joke buddy boy.

Everyone has to do the 'This Guy' link at least once in their escapist career.

 

[bullet_sandw1ch]

Can't really think of any reviewers by name that I actually dislike, apart from maybe Greg Miller, but I'll get to that later.

But I find most of the reviews of IGN and Gamespot are pretty terrible. They often don't really give you a good idea of what a game's actually like, they just read like a promotional release. The Gamestop reviews are the worst for this. Greg Miller is just one of many crappy reviewers from IGN, so he's not exactly special. He has got an incredibly irritating and grating voice though, and an annoying personality. That's why I remember him specifically.

dear god, greg miller is the biggest ps3 ass-kisser ive ever seen. uncharted 3 didnt deserve a 10, it deserved around a 9, and he is just generally so far up sonys ass. same with Audrey drake, the nintendo version of greg miller. skyward sword didnt deserve a 10, it deserved pretty much a 6 or 7. come at me, zelda fanboys.

 

[bullet_sandw1ch]

Eurogamer, IGN and Gamespot.

The quality of their reviews are just aweful...

I'd rather look at Joystiq's reviews over all those. At least they tend to be a little more honest.

Here's a fun little game to play whenever you go onto IGN, Eurogamer or Gamespot.
Pick a game, guess the score and the main complaints the game might have, then read the review.

After a while you learn the patterns and get pretty good at the game.

yeah, i feel game informer is on a different level of quality when it comes to reviews and interesting discussions, i have yet to visit gamespot or ign after discovering game informer.

 

[Rooster Cogburn]

I think everyone should watch this before this thread goes any further.


Reviews are always going to be subjected to personal opinion. Someone giving Call of Duty a 9 or Journey a 4 does not say anything about their credibility as a critic. It speaks to the kind of games they enjoy.

This does not make them a bad critic. If you use critics to determine what games you are going to buy or not, then it's always a wise decision to see a number of reviews from different people (I like to go with Yahtzee, Jim Sterling, and Angry Joe as my combination) so you can get varying viewpoints and make your decision while being informed.

Critics do not exist to validate what you like and hate. That's not a critic. That's an attention whore.

The kind of games they enjoy speaks to their usefulness as a critic. A food reviewer who exclusively enjoys shit sandwiches is of no use to anyone. At the very least, they're of no use to me. Giving a shitty game a fantastic score doesn't necessarily make them biased, it just means they fail at their job. That is not to say there is anything wrong with a diversity of opinions or that all reviewers must like the same things for the same reasons. I just hate how often people on these forums operate on the assumption that something being subjective puts it beyond the scope of examination or criticism.

And for the record, I think Jim Sterling should figure out what he's trying to say before he starts recording. He sounds like he's changing his arguments in the middle of a sentence. It's very poorly structured and hard to follow.

 

[Rooster Cogburn]

Gameoverthinker- He wants to see things that aren't there. At first I thought he was just trying to be deliberately contrarian but then he set himself up as Bioware's White Knight. And he gets upset at those people who will buy everything George Lucas shits out. Fucking hypocrite.

What annoys me most is he bills himself as above and against hyperbolic flame-wars and fanboyism when in fact he is the worst practitioner of both ever to walk the earth.

 

[Scrustle]

Can't really think of any reviewers by name that I actually dislike, apart from maybe Greg Miller, but I'll get to that later.

But I find most of the reviews of IGN and Gamespot are pretty terrible. They often don't really give you a good idea of what a game's actually like, they just read like a promotional release. The Gamestop reviews are the worst for this. Greg Miller is just one of many crappy reviewers from IGN, so he's not exactly special. He has got an incredibly irritating and grating voice though, and an annoying personality. That's why I remember him specifically.

dear god, greg miller is the biggest ps3 ass-kisser ive ever seen. uncharted 3 didnt deserve a 10, it deserved around a 9, and he is just generally so far up sonys ass. same with Audrey drake, the nintendo version of greg miller. skyward sword didnt deserve a 10, it deserved pretty much a 6 or 7. come at me, zelda fanboys.

Yeah, Greg is a self confessed Sony fanboy. That should tell you all you need to know about anything he says. And that "beyond" thing he keeps shouting is fucking obnoxious. Funny thing is that just after I made my post I went over to IGN and found a very unusual blog post [http://www.ign.com/blogs/greggy-ign/2012/08/09/so-i-have-cancer-who-wants-to-cook-meth/] by him. I didn't read past the beginning of it since I didn't really care to, but it might be worth someone else's attention. I was thinking about posting a thread about it here but I guessed it could start the ugliest flame war of all time. Also that picture at the top of the page is pretty offensive.

 

[John Farrell]

That guy who gave God Hand a 3. Then IGN had the balls to put another reviewer up to defend him. They say it's too hard, yet gave a good score to DMC 3. Say the humor is bad, yet gave No More Heroes props. With big name games, I tend to go with no name reviewers.

Hell, Soul Calibur 3. Remember the glitch with Chronicles of the Sword? Deleted anything off your memory card, the CotS file would corrupt. To play it, you would have to delete the entire save file and start from scratch. 8.5/10 from IGN.

 

[Bocaj2000]

Angry Joe is the only one that comes to mind as a good one: he is the ONLY reviewer I have seen that gave valid criticism for Brink (I will get into this upon request. I'm not going to waste my time if no one cares), and for that he is cemented in my mind as a good reviewer.

i agree hes one of the only good reviewers out there (there are a few more but cant name any off the top of my head) even though i disagree with him on somethings (brink being an example, i liked that game) he gives good reviews

If you remember their names, tell me; I'm curious.

Anyway, I started paying more attention to AJ after the Brink review because, while everyone else on that site loathed it, his big criticism was that it needed more time, and if given a few more months it could easily be a fantastic game. Despite that it is still one of my favorite shooters at the moment and it is destined to be a cult classic along with Titan Quest.

 

[OrpheusTelos]

Spoony: Never explains why he doesn't like a movie, he just makes fun of it and then claim to be a critic.

-Worst game reviews.
"Spoony reviews movies badly."
lolwut

If you go through his Ultima series he actually does quite well explaining why he loves the old games and why the new ones have been getting progressively worse.

OT: Can't spell ignorance witho-okay, you know the joke.
But seriously, their God Hand review was done by someone who admitted they gave up on the first level (I think) because it was too hard and they said it was bad because. The shit.

Spoony's Ultima reviews are nice, because he's clearly passionate about the series. Some of his other reviews (Final Fantasy), well...

 

[DanteLives]

IGN. There are many games better than any CoD that have been blatantly underrated.

 

[Slenn]

There are probably a good number of reviewers on TGTWG that aren't good.

-Nostalgia Critic is okay and used to scream a lot more than what he does now, but at least Doug Walker is pretty humble about what he does. And that may be a response to changing from an all out scream-fest to something more balanced.
-Nostalgia Chick is probably the most well rounded of the reviewers on that site, since she doesn't take up 50% of screen time shouting obscenities at the camera or riffing at the movie, and instead uses that time wisely to make fine points.
-Oancitizen falls into the same category.
-Spoony is a mixed bag. He admits himself in several commentaries that he doesn't review a game randomly and that he reviews things that he's actually had some ties with as a kid. This does include Final Fantasy and many of the Sega CD games. His Ultima retrospective is probably the most moving out of ANY review I have ever seen. If you haven't seen the Finale to his Ultima 9 review, check it out now. It's pretty dang heartbreaking. However there are plenty of times where much of his information is incomplete, leading to unbalanced reviews. In addition, the guy is also fighting an ego issue.
-Linkara is 'meh'. His format hasn't very much changed over the past several years, and so he's kinda stale for me.
-Paw is good. His Top 10 stuff is pretty decent.

Everyone else I haven't extensively watched enough to have an opinion on.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Gameoverthinker- He wants to see things that aren't there. At first I thought he was just trying to be deliberately contrarian but then he set himself up as Bioware's White Knight. And he gets upset at those people who will buy everything George Lucas shits out. Fucking hypocrite.

How is calling out the "Take back Mass Effect" as a gigantic overreaction being a White Knight for Bioware?

That just makes you oblivious.
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/moviebob/9561-Re-Take-The-Cabin>This (at least the second page) makes you a white night. Because disliking Caban in the Woods and disliking the ending to Mass Effect 3 are TOTALLY the same thing!

He saw a parallel, so he drew it. Simple as that.

He also saw a parallel between Nazi Eugenics and Halo [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/the-big-picture/2428-Combat-Evolved], because a Halo commercial has a guy's eyes go from brown to blue. As was said, just because he saw a parallel doesn't mean its legitimate.

 

[Newby_Newb]

That reviewer on The Escapist who gave Dragon Age 2 a 10/10.

you mean Greg Tito here on the escapist who gave Dragon Age II 5/5 stars(not 10/10)

Same thing.

 

[Alternative]

Yahtzee.

He's a great and very entertaining critic but a terrible reviewer.

If you where to go on the opinion on Zero punctuation then the only game you would own would be
the orange box(or more specifically portal), Silent hill 2 and psychonauts.