Well, I have never pissed off a member of the oppisite sex, which is a monolithic statement, (With the Exception of my Mother) But I have screwed up in just about every other way.
Like acidently telling the girl I like, that I see her as my "Sister" Hear that whistling? thats the sound of the graph that just plummeted, its title is: "Chances of a Romantic Realtionship"
As a side note, I have probably angered at least a few women, though none have been angry enough to Slap me, insult me publicly with hurtful intenet (They have done it playfully(Hopefully)), or kick me in the crotch.
But I guess that is not the worst moment, when I was about seven, I started playing Baseball. Like many other seven year old boys, I found wearing a Jock Strap very Discomforting. So one day, with all the foresight a seven year old could use, I did not wear it. This one decision, is easily the most painful mistake I made. Today I was trying out to be the catcher, I was playing Coach Pitch at this age, I was psyched for this, my brother was a chatcher, my father was a chatcher, even my grandfather was a catcher. I was ready to take up the mit and continue my family 'legacy'. I crotched down behind the plate, well aware of all the motions of being a human target.
Then Taylor Ledger walked up to the plate.
This girl was a tomboy to end all tomboys, she had her ponytail, her chewing gum, and her faced marked with black chalk. (Which was kinda funny because this was practice, not a game, and on top of that baseball). She took a few practice swings, trying to hit the air. (Though in truth, none of use could hit the ball, we all were just trying to look cool), The Coach nooded her approval, she then prepared to throw the ball as lightly as possible. (we were seven after all) the tomboy of myth then swung her bat as violently as possible, missing the ball. She then, yet again, trying to act suave, ran the tip of the bat across the plate, with all the intensity a tom boy could muster with an alluminum bat.
But here is the kicker, Taylor Ledger, without noticing it, swung the bat too far, faster then one could say "Tiger Woods" the Tomboy practiced her golf back swing on my pre-pubescent crotch.
Needless to say, I have yet to scream and cry that loud again, this made me paralyzed of not only being a catcher, but of swinging bats, and for some reason, baseballs. I still mourn over the missed chance of me becoming a proffesional.
-This-is-Hip-Hop
