Worst Zombie Movie of All Time

[zombielifecoach]

My friend, it has come to a point where I am simply unable to been in the local populace without wanting to strangle some f'ing twat. I can't go to the movies because A) 95% are terrible and B) Some jackoff with an IPhone is yacking away. Music is BS. Poppy-carbon-copy garbage. Ditched cable, because it is a "reality" wasteland. Even the internet Im down to like 3 maybe 4 sites I regularly visit. My only remaining bastion is gaming and DVDs. Not to quote 'Tool', but "I wish a flood would come and wash it all away" (Mass-media I mean). Let us start it all over from scratch, let the innovators shine again, ya'know.

What pisses me off the most about the movies is that you pay through the nose, go in, pay through the nose for snacks, watch their trailers for days and then come out feeling like you've just been mugged......afterwards, you get home and watch the TV that bombards you with the same shite ads.

THEN, the film industry takes this 'sale' as if you've enjoyed their piece of shit, and brag about it by saying how much the box office made over the first weekend. If I were Prime Minister (or Prez in your case) I'd FORCE cinemas to have a voting system when you leave so you can press a button from a choice of three.

- I LOVED IT
- IT WAS OK, BUT DON'T MAKE A SEQUEL
- GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY YOU ROBBING, TIME WASTING, UNTALENTED BASTARDS

Ok, so something not as offensive if kids visit but at least this way Spielberg might lose track whilst counting his millions and know that not everyone wants to fill his pockets with cash and spunk!

Let's face it. The people clamor for shit. They eat it up and ask for more.

Somewhere in a dark dressing room trailer, a zombie weeps a single tear, as he prepares to go on the set of ANOTHER terrible movie. He knows he's become a whore, to the mainstream. to the fans who scoff at plot or substance...

He dries his decomposing orbital, takes a deep breath and is brave.

*choked sob*

We let him down.

 

[zombielifecoach]

See everybody round, gotta go catch the new Vin Diesel movie. Sike. Later fellow Zombie-lovers!!!!

 

[MysteriousSquirrel]

Dawn of the Dead remake, seriously, a "true" zombie should NOT be able to run like a fucking athlete, it just made me laugh cause its so much crap, original is one of the best though.

While I agree with the "no-fast zombies" theory, I still enjoyed the movie.

But fast zombies is a bad bad thing. I could make it out alive with slow zombies. Fast zombies... no, nobody is making it out of there alive...

If you consider zombies, there is nothing keeping them from sprinting (unless they have lost a limb). Most of the viruses out there dont make them slow, its just kinda a cliche of zombies. It surely makes things more chaotic when they can run at you.

 

[MysteriousSquirrel]

You know. No matter HOW you like your zombies. No matter what cinematic feature involving zombies you love or hate, zombies do bring the world closer together. Kudos, zombies. Kudos.

Amen to that brother.

 

[Xhumed]

In Day of The Dead (the original one), one of the scientists explains that the brain decomposition happens in a few key areas, then essentially stops, leaving most of it intact. In that film, the famous Bub remembers things from his previous life in the military- he salutes an officer, handles a gun, etc. So it isn't going against Romero's own mythology in Land of the Dead, merely building on it.

EDIT: Ooh, 666 posts. I'm EVIL. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

 

[Ixus Illwrath]

Fast Zombie vs. Slow Zombie isn't an issue that matters to me as much as 'obvious reason the zombies are here' vs. 'no one will ever know why they came to be'

Bad: 28 Days Later, Resident Evil

Good: George Romero's Dead canon


For the record Zack Snyder's Remake of Dawn was awesome, set in Milwaukee, which is where I'm sitting right now. Coulda used some more fact checking though. Our radio and TV stations don't ever start with K, they always start with W. K is reserved for anything west of the Mississippi. Plus, there's no fucking islands off the coast of Milwaukee or southeastern Wisconsin for that matter.

 

[Ares Tyr]

Dawn of the Dead remake, seriously, a "true" zombie should NOT be able to run like a fucking athlete, it just made me laugh cause its so much crap, original is one of the best though.

While I agree with the "no-fast zombies" theory, I still enjoyed the movie.

But fast zombies is a bad bad thing. I could make it out alive with slow zombies. Fast zombies... no, nobody is making it out of there alive...

If you consider zombies, there is nothing keeping them from sprinting (unless they have lost a limb). Most of the viruses out there dont make them slow, its just kinda a cliche of zombies. It surely makes things more chaotic when they can run at you.

It depends what kind we are talking about here. Rage-virus infected people could sprint, yeah. But if you are physically dead, and not producing nutrients or taking in oxygen to repair your muscles, then your body's muscles are going to slowly break down to the point of uselessness from excessive use. And I can handle that kind of sprint zombie because it will eventually slow down.

And if we are talking about Solanum/Max Brooks type zombies, then they will lack the motor skills necessary to run, on top of the muscle deterioration. So... yeah.

I still liked the new Dawn of the Dead.

 

[aswiftlytiltingreality]

28 Weeks Later was atrocious. That's all I have to say about that.

 

[SenseOfTumour]

I also picked up 'doomed' from tesco out of the 99p, and actually enjoyed how awful it was, acting was terrible , effects poor, zombies seem to just have some facepaint on, and the wholoe thing was filmed on an old camcorder it seems.

It genuinely feels like a student film project, yet at the same time its kinda entertaining

 

[MysteriousSquirrel]

Ares Tyr, your logic makes sense for films like Land of the Dead or Day of the Dead or even 28 Weeks Later, because the time lap is so major that the undead would be decaying severly. But in Dawn of the Dead, where the zombies have only been infected (in the beginning)for a short while, they still retain that ability to move. Good arguement comes in when at the end of the movie, after like...a month or two in the mall (cannot remember how long), then you could say muscle deterioration is to blame.

Nice observation with the muscle factoid, by the way.

 

[dalek sec]

The house of the dead. God I can't even begin to describe how awful this crap was, I thank christ that I only saw it for free on HBO one late night.

 

[NonMagicPoet]

Stacy, if anyone's heard of it. Very ridiculous.

 

[HuntingWolf_01]

28 Weeks Later was atrocious. That's all I have to say about that.

The 28 Later movies technically are not zombie movies. Lots of people make that mistake because they bite. But they are really murderously angry, crazy people. Not zombies.

yeah but there isnt a catergory for crazy, murder-er people so its easier to call it a zombie film and leave it at that.

its still crap though

 

[whoops1995]

I'm sure it's been said already but, Plan 9 from outer space. When you mix zombies, aliens, and terrible dialogue you get a golden turkey award.

 

[vamp rocks]

there was some film that was based in america in the south.. and there was like an FBI agent there for some reason and the agent called it a "re-animated corpse" problem or something... idk but it was a really bad movie

 

[MysteriousSquirrel]

28 Weeks Later was atrocious. That's all I have to say about that.

The 28 Later movies technically are not zombie movies. Lots of people make that mistake because they bite. But they are really murderously angry, crazy people. Not zombies.

yeah but there isnt a catergory for crazy, murder-er people so its easier to call it a zombie film and leave it at that.

its still crap though

If you think about the make up of the "things" in 28 Weeks (or even 28 days), they have a few things in common with zombies. Transmitting the "RAGE" virus through bite, they do eat people, just no one sticks around to watch the real gorey flesh devouring. I would still consider them to be the living dead... Certainly not something you would want to run into in a dark alley...

 

[jackknife402]

I thought that both Return of the living dead: Necropolis and Return of the living dead: Rave to the Grave were pretty terrible zombie films, half the time the zombies didn't even act like zombies at all, just cannibalistic humans desiring peoples brains.(They could talk normally, but always about brains...)