Would you consider this cheating?

[DuplicateValue]

No it's not cheating, and unlike a few of the others here, I don't think it was a dick move at all.

She said no, you moved on. It's not like you're gonna sit around waiting for her.
She obviously just got insulted by how easily you moved on from her - it can't be good for her self-esteem I guess.

 

[JCMarksman]

she had her chance

 

[TrollOgerElf]

Cheating is an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition.
You did none of these.

 

[Intoki]

Well honestly it sounds like because you got blown off by one girl you just jumped on the next one. It may not be cheating, but it makes you look like a shameless dog that'll just go for the next girl, and the next, until she's available.
So no, maybe not cheating. But yeah, you should be slapping yourself in the head. Just because you "weren't official" isn't an excuse, especially if you were actually into her and she realized this.

So in my opinion, you owe her a major apology.

That and

Technically it's not but nonetheless, dick move.

That

Heh, I like how you seem to have a sense of perspective about this - girl says no, instead of falling on your knees you just take it on the chin and maybe go for this other girl who's after a bit of fun. That's fine, y'know? a lot of people here think that if a guy acts this way, he must just be an insensitive manwhore or something. But you're young! if you and this girl wanted to hook up for a bit, then there's no reason to say no. And this other girl really shouldn't have much of a problem with this, if she comes along and you say "yeah, it was alright with her but I still want you" she should realize that it doesn't mean you don't like her.

Yeah, I chalk this one up to her. She'll probably never let this go as well, but it's her fault for getting so pushy about it. I mean, if this was a serious, deep emotional connection sort of thing you two had, then maybe it would be understandable, but if you just kind of like her, then it's fine. She's overreacting, and maybe you should explain to her how you see all this.

Don't listen to this guy

 

[child of lileth]

I don't think it is, but I completely understand why she's pissed at you. She basically thought you'd wait and had an understood agreement that you'd wait to commit to her once her ex was taken care of.

It isn't cheating, but you still unintentionally hurt her that way.

 

[Bon_Clay]

The hell? She was the one still "ending things" with her ex. Unless that meant him stalking her, she was still dealing with emotional ties to someone else.

You asked her out, she rejected you for the time being, you moved on with your life. If she thinks she can put you on lay-away for when its convenient for her, stay away from the dumb ***** altogether.

 

[Sjakie]

you did the only right thing you could do! You should not even feel ashamed, she should though, giving you a line about an ex.
you did not become her doormat by 'waiting patiently', the only person she can blame is herself.

 

[Dags90]

yeah, why not?

I think some people responding are the type who might be described as "burning hot and fast." Thus "I like her" is grounds for significant emotional investment and opportunity.

I wouldn't necessarily call it cheating.
Still it was kind of a stupid move because now she might think you would cheat on her if you were actually dating

Wouldn't that be slightly hypocritical if the implied sex ("seeing" but not dating? seeing her naked, right?) is true? I mean, the girl was either having sex or emotionally cheating on her ex-boyfriend who she 'hasn't completely ended things with yet.'

 

[Druss the Legend]

No, not cheating, but not a smart move either from both of you.
Dating isn't a dibs game, and you really should have told her you weren't going to wait.

 

[vento 231]

She said no, what are you supposed to do? Wait an keep asking, that would just be annoying and creepy. She sounds crazy, you had no commitment to this woman, she struck you down. If I were you, I wouldn't talk to miss crazy anymore.

 

[Slaanax]

I believe you have to be going out with someone to cheat on someone...

 

[Still Life]

This is in no way shape or form cheating. She said no, she has no right to be upset.

Technically. I agree. Perhaps it was prudent to tell her that you were going to continue dating, though.

 

[Tonythion]

No, no you did not. What did she expect you to wait patiently for her while she dealt with some other person?

And it wasn't a dick move for you to ask someone else out after she quasi-rejected you. You're allowed to like two people at once. And who knows how long she was going to make you wait.

 

[justnotcricket]

Hm...well, technically, since she had said no, she didn't want to 'go out' with you, she can't complain if you go on a date with someone else. I can't help but think, however, that you should perhaps have discussed the rules of your arrangement more carefully. I've never liked the whole 'dating but not exclusive' model, because to me it just unnecessarily confuses things.
The fact that you feel bad about it suggests that on some level, you felt more attached to this girl than your relationship status suggested.

If you still want to go out with her, I would have a chat about where things stand, and set out some rules. Remember what happened on Friends when Ross and Rachel were on a 'break' but hadn't set boundaries for it? A lot of whinging and recrimination, that's what. If she doesn't want to know, you'll just have to cut your losses, and learn the lesson for next time (if there is one).

 

[MR.Spartacus]

Although not cheating per se you're story makes it seem like she was hoping you'd wait. You missed these clues and any relationship with her may be FUBAR. Regardless of who's in the right pissing her off is all it'd take.

 

[Gudrests]

kind of a dick move...but no nothing wrong...just a dick move. was it like the enxt day uoi asked this other girl out?...and she did say as soon as she cleared the air with the X..

 

[Lyri]

She has nothing to go on, she said no.

End of story.
Your still free & single and your business is your business, tell her to go jump.

 

[tthor]

I've been seeing this girl for about a month now and we really click. I was having a good time of it so I decided to ask her if she wanted to officially date. She said no because she was dealing with a troublesome ex and wanted to completely end things with him before she did anything involving commitment. I was cool with this and saw it as an opportunity to ask out this girl who lives down the road from me on a date. We had a pretty good time together and had some fun at my place afterwards. The girl who rejected me finds out about this and got really pissed at me for technically cheating adn that she wanted to date me after she had cleared her other stuff up. I'm telling her that because we weren't official it can't be considered cheating but when I think about it I can't help but feel a little bad. I'm not a fan of cheating and I really do like her.

So my question is this. In your opinions, would you call that cheating? Should I be mad with myself? Her? should I try to work things out?

sorry, but this is kinda your fault, tho i can't blame you for not seeing it coming. the 'inbetween zone' is very common in pre-relationships. its that zone where 2 friends have feelings for eachother but aren't sure whether to stay friends or date, or sometimes are simply holding off. this is basicly like being in a relationship, except nothing physical and neither side will admit its a relationship.i've seen many couples (including myself) go thru this phase. and if you do something bad, like treat the girl badly or mess around with another girl, you fail the inbetween zone. so when you asked another girl out, you did mess up.

 

[captaincabbage]

It's not technically cheating, but it is kind of a dick move. She really wanted to go out with you and was holding it off until she cleard up some stuff so the two of you could have a better relationship.

 

[Dxz5roxg]

It's not cheating at all. Just tell her until she's ready to go out on a date and be official you're still looking around.