Would you consider this cheating?
- Thread starter Thebiggestpanda
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If you liked her so much, why would you turn around and date someone else as soon as she tells you to just wait a bit? Seriously?
You should say the other girl took advantage of you while you were drunk, then break into tears. That seems to be one tactic that works in most relationship threads I've read.
*days later, girl signs up on Escapist and asks if she should keep dating this guy who cheated on her but seemed very broken up about it*
*days later, girl signs up on Escapist and asks if she should keep dating this guy who cheated on her but seemed very broken up about it*
From a girl's perspective:
No, you didn't cheat. But it was still pretty low of you. Obviously she cares enough to be upset that you did it, which means something. But whether or not she would really be able to move beyond that and fully trust that and be willing to commit to any sort of firm relationship is questionable - Mostly because YOUR ability to commit is questionable. If you weren't willing to stick around for her then, what would happen if things between the two of you got rocky?
You didn't have the patience to stick around and wait for a girl that you say you really like (which I kinda doubt, as just about any woman would, judging by your actions) and you make it obvious that you prefer to dance between partners. Not a smart move...
I'd just walk away from the both of them.
No, you didn't cheat. But it was still pretty low of you. Obviously she cares enough to be upset that you did it, which means something. But whether or not she would really be able to move beyond that and fully trust that and be willing to commit to any sort of firm relationship is questionable - Mostly because YOUR ability to commit is questionable. If you weren't willing to stick around for her then, what would happen if things between the two of you got rocky?
You didn't have the patience to stick around and wait for a girl that you say you really like (which I kinda doubt, as just about any woman would, judging by your actions) and you make it obvious that you prefer to dance between partners. Not a smart move...
I'd just walk away from the both of them.
I don't think it's considered cheating if you aren't actually dating, but I can see how she'd take offense. Look, just go to her, mend some wounds, and if all else fails, just say your sorry. That's my advice.
All you lacked was the tact to realise that when she said 'no, not now' (in so many words), the 'not now' bit was important. She probably wanted you to pick up on the fact that it wasn't a straight no, that she was interested to some degree in a relationship with you at some point, and when you ignored or failed to see that, she got annoyed.
It's really half her fault for being vague, and half your fault for being hasty with diving into another (albeit short) relationship.
As for solutions, if you still want to be in a relationship with girl number one, I reckon your best bet is a heartfelt apology. Tell her you misinterpreted her answer, and that you were just feeling a little lonely or down when you got with girl two (who you should probably also apologise to).
I think the fact she reacted the way she did, with flashes of jealousy, means she probably fancies you a little bit too. Go for it.
It's really half her fault for being vague, and half your fault for being hasty with diving into another (albeit short) relationship.
As for solutions, if you still want to be in a relationship with girl number one, I reckon your best bet is a heartfelt apology. Tell her you misinterpreted her answer, and that you were just feeling a little lonely or down when you got with girl two (who you should probably also apologise to).
I think the fact she reacted the way she did, with flashes of jealousy, means she probably fancies you a little bit too. Go for it.
You're not in a relationship with her. It's her damn loss if she decides otherwise.
I'd be pissed off if the girl that deferred me thought she had any right to a say in further relationship statuses. in fact she did and it did tick me off, but it was ger loss in my opinion.
I'd be pissed off if the girl that deferred me thought she had any right to a say in further relationship statuses. in fact she did and it did tick me off, but it was ger loss in my opinion.
its technically not cheating, but if you really liked her would you have immediately gone to another girl when she said no -_-
That's 100% the truth right there.Nwabudike Morgan said:
This situation has no middle ground, you are absolutely not at fault here, it's all on her for passing on a opportunity. The girl that rejected you seems like the jealous type, if I were you I'd avoid a relationship (friendzone is cool) with her. It seems like a classic case of "Now that someone else has you, I want you", so just be careful and tread lightly my friend...
Not technically cheating considering you weren't "officially" with her, but still a douche move. I know if I were in her position I'd probably be pretty upset, it does make it seem like you weren't too fussed whether or not she was the one you dated.
"Oh, you're not free? I'll just date this other girl then."
She has a right to be mad, but she's confusing a stupid move for cheating when it really isn't.
"Oh, you're not free? I'll just date this other girl then."
She has a right to be mad, but she's confusing a stupid move for cheating when it really isn't.
The girl said she wanted to clear things with her ex before committing. In my mind that isn't "No" it's "I want to start from scratch with you and not have issues from my last relationship leak into this one".Jark212 said:
You're confusing flat out rejection for holding off until she's comfortable to commit.
I guess I misread that bit, but I still stand by my initial statement due to my interpretation of her basically saying "I'm not ready for a relationship" which is still a solid rejection in my book...Anonymoustache said:
Thanks for clarifying that though...