Would you consider this cheating?

[zombiesinc]

It's not cheating.

But what did you expect to happen? You both show an interest in one another, but because she isn't readily available, and wants to make sure she has completely ended things with her ex (so she can date you), you move on to the next girl.

She's upset because you jumped to the next girl, even after her saying she was interested. You have every right of course, as she has the right to get upset and express herself, even if she says you did something you didn't do.

 

[astrav1]

Jackass says what?

 

[Anonymoustache]

This is in no way shape or form cheating. She said no, she has no right to be upset.

That's 100% the truth right there.

This situation has no middle ground, you are absolutely not at fault here, it's all on her for passing on a opportunity. The girl that rejected you seems like the jealous type, if I were you I'd avoid a relationship (friendzone is cool) with her. It seems like a classic case of "Now that someone else has you, I want you", so just be careful and tread lightly my friend...

The girl said she wanted to clear things with her ex before committing. In my mind that isn't "No" it's "I want to start from scratch with you and not have issues from my last relationship leak into this one".
You're confusing flat out rejection for holding off until she's comfortable to commit.

I guess I misread that bit, but I still stand by my initial statement due to my interpretation of her basically saying "I'm not ready for a relationship" which is still a solid rejection in my book...

Thanks for clarifying that though...

Fair enough. I personally think they're both in the wrong and not just her, but I'm a girl so I suppose I could be mildly biased.

 

[Jaker the Baker]

It's not, but you still f'ed up your chances with her by doing that. It makes her question your intentions with HER.

 

[warprincenataku]

I would have had a grace period between girls, just in case, but this doesn't constitute cheating in any way, shape or form.

 

[SilverUchiha]

This reminds me of the "We were on a break" thing from Friends. Rachael wants a break. Ross sleeps with a girl the night this break starts. Rachael says she'll take him back the next take because she's over all the stress... She finds out what he did during the break and she gets mad and the relationship ends.

While Ross is technically right, like you are, it was still a bit of a dickhead move. You couldn't have been patient and just waited for girl #1 to deal with her shit first? I don't agree that you cheated, but I agree with her that you're probably a dickhead (or whatever insult she probably used when she found out about this).

 

[natster43]

No that is not cheating and I see no reason that you should be upset about it. You asked her out, she said no, and then she got mad about it when you decided to date someone else. Though I guess that shows that she likes you.

 

[Julianking93]

While this isn't cheating, I will admit that if someone I liked did this, I'd be upset but I would have no right to do so because I had yet to claim them as my own.

The girl isn't in the right to be upset, but it is understandable why she is.

 

[Anonymoustache]

Why does everyone keep saying the girl said no like she didn't want to date him at all?
Just to clarify, he said "She said no because she was dealing with a troublesome ex and wanted to completely end things with him before she did anything involving commitment."
Would you really want to enter into a relationship with a girl whose ex was being troublesome?
I know she's overreacting, but she didn't *actually* reject him completely, just to clarify that.

 

[Mordwyl]

An important detail has been left out: How long did you wait?

 

[Nieroshai]

I've been seeing this girl for about a month now and we really click. I was having a good time of it so I decided to ask her if she wanted to officially date. She said no because she was dealing with a troublesome ex and wanted to completely end things with him before she did anything involving commitment. I was cool with this and saw it as an opportunity to ask out this girl who lives down the road from me on a date. We had a pretty good time together and had some fun at my place afterwards. The girl who rejected me finds out about this and got really pissed at me for technically cheating adn that she wanted to date me after she had cleared her other stuff up. I'm telling her that because we weren't official it can't be considered cheating but when I think about it I can't help but feel a little bad. I'm not a fan of cheating and I really do like her.

So my question is this. In your opinions, would you call that cheating? Should I be mad with myself? Her? should I try to work things out?

No it wasn't cheating, but you'd better decide quick which one you actually want to be with. Fast. You don't need TWO enemies.

 

[heaventorn]

Here's a nice test to see how bad your move was.

Put yourself in her place; imagine some guy you click with just asked you out. You don't want to go out right away because you have a lot of problems going on and don't want him to deal with the drama, but you let him know that when you are done with it you would like to officially start dating. Now this person knows that you are as much into them as they are into you, but you find out that after your conversation with them, they went out and fooled around with some other girl they knew.

It doesn't come off right. Makes you look impatient or childish. It isn't so much about whether it's considered cheating or not (because it isn't) it just shows that you really don't care and that girls are a sort of conquest for you (if one isn't available, grab another until then).

I can understand her freaking as being odd and a bad sign, but I can also see where she is coming from. I can also see your side and your motives. What you should do about it, I have no idea.

 

[Mikeyfell]

The girl who rejected me finds out about this and got really pissed at me for technically cheating

So my question is this. In your opinions, would you call that cheating? Should I be mad with myself? Her? should I try to work things out?

well your problem is very simple

she's crazy

especially if she said "technically cheating" when you weren't dating
so by her logic you where "technically cheating" on every woman in the world during every date you've ever been on?

"technically cheating"'s not cheating in anyone's opinion
be mad with her
keep seeing the sane girl

[sub]either that or you can assume that every time she says "no" she means "yes." then in that case marry her and every time she says "I said 'no'" bring up the "technically cheating" issue[/sub]

 

[Stealth Prawn]

Wait. So it's okay for girl #1 to demand he put his life on hold for her? She said no. That means he's free to date whoever he wants. Girl #1 is a *****, don't date her even if things with girl #2 don't work out.

 

[fenderstrat]

hell no. and im glad that you did it

 

[DudeistBelieve]

This is in no way shape or form cheating. She said no, she has no right to be upset.

Not reading anyone elses posts, because this one is entirely correct. If I can add, however...

No it's not cheating. No you shouldn't feel overly terrible. Truthfully if you really wanted this non-committed girl you should of went about this more tactfully, cause you may of blown your chances. Just saying, you didn't do anything wrong though.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

This reminds me of the "We were on a break" thing from Friends. Rachael wants a break. Ross sleeps with a girl the night this break starts. Rachael says she'll take him back the next take because she's over all the stress... She finds out what he did during the break and she gets mad and the relationship ends.

While Ross is technically right, like you are, it was still a bit of a dickhead move. You couldn't have been patient and just waited for girl #1 to deal with her shit first? I don't agree that you cheated, but I agree with her that you're probably a dickhead (or whatever insult she probably used when she found out about this).

I call bullshit. Morally, ethically, legally, what Ross did was A-okay. Smartest move in the world if his game plan was to get back with Rachael? Hell NO! In fact, it's unethical of Rachael to hold it against Ross for doing so, if she wanted to claim to his dick she shouldn't of set it free.

P.S. Never watched friends.

 

[CouchCommando]

no ,sounds like she was the one letting the grass grow under her feet. But that's just what I can garner from the information you've laid down.

 

[PureChaos]

it's not cheating, she turned you down. granted it was a 'no for now, ask again later' so it could throw up some moral issues about whether or not you should have done it considering you WOULD have been dating her soon after but that's all. you can't cheat on someone you aren't dating, even you're on a break (who will get the reference...)

 

[ultrachicken]

Wasn't this girl still technically with another person at the time of your "cheating?"

That would mean you both "cheated."

Still, you should apologize, because that makes you seem like the kind of guy who acts like a dog.