would you humiliate your children?

[xmbts]

I wouldn't have to try to humiliate the hell out of any kids of mine. However I wouldn't bully/cyberbully them. That's just sending all sorts of shitty messages and not giving them an ounce of privacy or personal confidentiality.

I'm kind of nauseated that happens.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

No. ...wait scratch that. FUCK NO!! What kind of dickhead would do such a thing. I want to discipline my kids, not ruin their lives.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I used to think like you, but then I saw the majority of people here are OK with incest, so anything could go.

Wait, SERIOUSLY? That is a grim statistic, my friend.

I know but everybody was so natural about it. Creeped me out. I don't want to veer this thing off-topic though, I was just citing the example to prove that even the most outrageous ideas can get backers if you ask enough people.

 

[michael87cn]

Not on purpose. And I assume that most people do not do it on purpose.

Also, what's so humiliating about baby pictures? So you were fat and naked. Big deal. You no longer (probably...) look nothing like that. So who cares? That's what babies are supposed to look like.

*shrugs* I guess I am just not easily embarrassed.

 

[Alarien]

Making your kids give back something they stole and apologize for it is not humiliation. It's the right thing.

Calling your kid out on Facebook or making them do some sort of publicized/videotaped obnoxious "admittance/apology" and posting it on the internet is not much different, and possibly worse, than physical child abuse.

So, humiliation? Fuck no.

Making them own their actions when caught? Like giving back something they stole? Yep.

 

[Flutterguy]

Lead by example, not by punishment. Shouldn't be too hard to figure out.

If you have a problem with what they are doing make a good reason, preferably the truth, tell them that. If you can't think of an actual reason they think a bit harder or don't stop them. "Because I'm your parent" or anything that says your will be done because of authority should be a last ditch effort only used when they are at the risk of harming themselves or others.

 

[lacktheknack]

Is it actually child abuse in Canadia? Because in the states we've had recent cases where people who left bruises and didn't lose their kids. There was one a few years back where a pastor did it and only got hit with parenting courses. And the reason I ask is because I've been hearing since the 80s how 'Murrica was a nanny state because of things like not letting parents spank their kids, though it's clearly not true. It's just another false rallying cry for the anti-gummit types who want the freedom to leave bruises on their kids but don't want to let two men enjoy each other's bodies.

I think you can be prosecuted for public spanking here. Not private, thank heavens, unless you actually injure the kid. I was referring to some cases I heard about over in Europe.

And really, if you're spanking your kid in public, I think that counts as humiliation too, so it may be just as well that you can't do it.

 

[Something Amyss]

I think you can be prosecuted for public spanking here. Not private, thank heavens, unless you actually injure the kid. I was referring to some cases I heard about over in Europe.

And really, if you're spanking your kid in public, I think that counts as humiliation too, so it may be just as well that you can't do it.

Thanks for clearing that up. I was mostly curious because of the fact that it's asserted in the states but not remotely true as far as I can tell.

I'm not familiar with cases in Europe. TO THE GOOGLE!

*batman music*

 

[Bertylicious]

I guess kids learn from example more than anything. If you teach them that doing bad or horrible shit will result in humiliation then that is a detterant, which is good, but that also that humiliating others is okay which is... I dunno. Kind of funny sometimes? We all like watching obnoxious people receive comeuppance.

Thinking about your own child as an obnoxious person in need of comeuppance seems a bit wrong but then I've never had kids and all my little cousins are miles away so unable to provide me with an adequate frame of reference.

 

[Dango]

No, I would not intentionally hurt my child's feelings.

 

[BringBackBuck]

From what I've read, publicly humliliating your kids is a very bad way of trying to discipline them. A good principle when it come to this sort of thing is "Give them praise for what they do good in front of other people, and if you have to scold them, do it in private".

I'm inclined to agree with this line of thinking. A parent should avoid publicly disciplining their kids when possible.

I disagree with this one. If your kid is having a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store then you deal with it there and then. Action must equal consequence, and particularly for small children that needs to happen quickly or they don't join the dots: ie: they come to the conclusion that bad behaviour when out and about is fine but for some reason whenever I get home I get punished. Conclusion = going home leads to punishment.

[edit] though I don't know where that ranks on the humiliation scale, say making your 3 year old apologies to the people in the shop, or re-stack the shelves they knocked over. That just seems like good parenting to me.

 

[Not Matt]

well, i really depends on how the kid acts. I do like those pictures you find on the internet where a parent has forced their kid to hold up a sign saying "i am a stupid bullying bastard and i have to do [thing they don't want to do] to make up for it]. i think that is a good way for parents to punish their children in today's digital age.
I do ofcorse hope to raise them in a way that makes them a little humble so i don't have to do this.

 

[Casual Shinji]

Yes I would. I don't think its best to say you would never do something as a parent. Teaching a child is about applying and helping the kid understand consequences. Sometimes that goes hand and hand with humiliating situations. One of the times I was most humiliated in my life was when I was 7 and stole a candy bar. My parents found out and had me return the candy along with an apology to the store manager. It worked. I learned my lesson on stealing.

That's not humiliating a child, that's teaching them that they've done something wrong and they should apologize. There's a difference between teaching a child humility, and humiliating them. You're trying to give them a clear perspective, as opposed to putting them down.

 

[Jamieson 90]

I think you can be prosecuted for public spanking here. Not private, thank heavens, unless you actually injure the kid. I was referring to some cases I heard about over in Europe.

And really, if you're spanking your kid in public, I think that counts as humiliation too, so it may be just as well that you can't do it.

Thanks for clearing that up. I was mostly curious because of the fact that it's asserted in the states but not remotely true as far as I can tell.

I'm not familiar with cases in Europe. TO THE GOOGLE!

*batman music*

Saw this and thought I'd give you some insight from the UK, more specifically England. In England you are allowed to slap your child but only to a certain degree. It shouldn't cause any permanent harm nor leave a bruise, although reddening of the skin is permitted. It is however heavily frowned upon by quite a lot of people and very rare to see it in public. In fact the last time I saw it happen was about 7 years ago when a mother slapped her young, perhaps 3 or 4 year old son on his bottom whilst my brother and I were out shopping, and prior to then I can't remember the last time I'd witnessed something like that.

 

[Bruce]

Of course. Childhood wouldn't be childhood without deep emotional scarring, it is what teaches them emotions.

Well I suppose I could substitute by making them play David Cage games, but I think humiliation is the more humane choice.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

Yes, why not. Now not for anything stupid, but if its something serious or they keep doing that crime or whatever again and again. You cant hit kids anymore and just saying "dont do it again" doesnt work for most kid. But humiliation works as no one wants that.

So if your kid is caught shop lifting you can force them to back and apologize. Its humiliating to the kid but is also the right thing to do and will make them think twice. But public humiliation is wrong like parents making their kid wear a "i stole from this store" sign is wrong as that is fucking up your kids life.

 

[BeerTent]

I work in a call center, and I consider my customers to be children. So, yes. I already do.

Really though, with how the Govt has stepped in, you can't do anything else anymore. You can't beat them, you can't tell them no, you can't train them like a common housepet, and they get coddled through schooling with "No child left behind." Hell, you can't even dress them up in a suit and call them Jeeves. What the hell is the point of even HAVING a kid if you can't do that?!

When you get your revenge on your kid, you gotta be classy. Social media to say your kid is donating their belongings to charity for "reasons." We don't have to say what reasons, we can let the kid sort that one out. Either that or making them feel pretty fucking stupid for doing something stupid. I'm pretty good on that one, especially via email.

 

[Call me Baz]

This thread is just a disaster, it's so meaningless.

I'm sure this thread has at least a few different views of what you mean by "humiliation", and the more extreme side is clearly going to be denied into oblivion, while minor humiliation (Like "don't pick your nose, that's [nasty/disgusting/dirty/whatever]" to a child in a queue at the supermarket) is acceptable. Why? Because it's a choice the parent has to make, do you stop them doing something WHEN THEY'RE DOING IT or do you tell them it was wrong in private. It's public humiliation but the awful wording in this thread probably has people thinking about much more dramatic examples (I can't provide you with an example now because I actually can't imagine the type of humiliation someone would want to put their child through)

As an aside, however, humility is a good trait to have from your child, and in the case of having a super arrogant, probably law-breaking child a lesson in humility is important. Think about all those videos that have some angry guy doing something stupid like trying to intimidate a black-belt in kick-yo-ass-fu (heh heh Mr T fool pun). Public humiliation that we can [almost] all laugh at and consider valid.

Besides - where are you all drawing the line at for children? Are teenagers children or adults? Or teenagers? If they're not children, when is a teenager not a child, 13? I never considered myself a teenager until I was 15.

TLR "Humiliation" is a very broad term and this thread woefully underexplains the scenario. Too many variables for me to make this as a serious discussion thread rather than a "Absolve yourself of something you may feel is wrong, however vaguely"

 

[teamcharlie]

Humiliation for humiliation's sake is pointless. All that serves to do is make the person you humiliate think that you suck, which I imagine is bad for a parent-child relationship. But it's certainly possible (especially with kids) to do something legitimately non-humiliating that would make another person respond with, "Oh my Gawd, this is so humiliating I want to die," because people get dramatic sometimes.

All told, use your best judgment and take peoples' declarations of feeling with a grain of salt.