would you humiliate your children?

[RoonMian]

Children manage to humiliate themselves just fine, they don't need any help with that.

Though I'm split sbout trying to protect my child from humiliating themself if I see the self-inflicted humiliation as automatic punishment for wrong behaviour. Probably, I would try. But not too hard.

 

[MrFalconfly]

Intentionally?

No. However I can't answer for the actual humiliating effects of any disciplinary action I might take.

 

[Riot3000]

Well the obvious is no I am assuming you mean some sort of intentional malicious humiliation then of course no one will sign off on that.

Now say it was a regular standard punishment which I will leave vague hoping that no jumps the gun on that and the child feels humiliated then that is a different thing all together.

 

[DeltaEdge]

Would I humiliate them? That depends on the situation. If they like snuck into a 18+ party or something and I somehow knew and waltzed in there and had to drag them out or something, then yeah, but just humiliating them with the intent of humiliating them, for like punishment or something, no I wouldn't do that. That just seems like bad parenting. I'm pretty sure they'd just resent me for it, but they probably wouldn't take much of anything positive away from it, other than "Dad's a fucking dick, let's still sneak out, but be even more sneaky and careful not to be caught to spite him".

And on top of that, just freely humiliating them would probably have some seriously negative effects on their self-esteem/social growth, and it'd probably cause them some serious social problems in the future. As someone who often has trouble in social situations, I can't at all see myself dooming my child to that same issue.

 

[Alcamonic]

Humiliating teens are the most effective kind of punishment there is. They are in that age when their mom and dad are the most embarrassing thing in the world.

If they are unruly and downright stupid, I would jump on the chance when they have friends over. Of course I would give a clear warning the day before.

 

[K12]

Embarrassing your children by just being embarrassing is part of your job as a parent.

But this is totally different. Spilling personal secrets to all their friends is terrible parenting in the same way that it would be really bad from for them to live tweet all of their parent's marital disagreements (though I would still find that quite funny).

 

[MrMixelPixel]

I'm inclined to agree with this line of thinking. A parent should avoid publicly disciplining their kids when possible.

I disagree with this one. If your kid is having a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store then you deal with it there and then. Action must equal consequence, and particularly for small children that needs to happen quickly or they don't join the dots: ie: they come to the conclusion that bad behaviour when out and about is fine but for some reason whenever I get home I get punished. Conclusion = going home leads to punishment.

[edit] though I don't know where that ranks on the humiliation scale, say making your 3 year old apologies to the people in the shop, or re-stack the shelves they knocked over. That just seems like good parenting to me.

Yeah, I wouldn't complain about that. I'm not even sure how much you could humiliate a child of that age. When I made my "avoid humiliating your kids" statement, I was thinking more so of ages 10+ children.

 

[talker]

Nope. Don't want it happening to me, and I don't want to screw up his life. I myself live in fear of my parents revealing stuff from when I was a small kid when they meet my girlfriend or on my wedding day, despite the fact that I have no girlfriend. My brain is weird like that.