WTF Australia?!?!?!

[Tiddles]

1. Drop bears
2. That's a very small snake
3. Golden Orb spiders max out at that size, Huntsmen keep GROWING they stop when they hit hub-cap size and they FUCKING FOLLOW YOU WHEN YOU RUN AWAY because they're attracted to vibrations. I found this out working in the area this thing was filmed and have been scarred ever since!

Cape York does not like visitors.

 

[the clockmaker]

In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by
-A king brown snake (survival tip 1-thick pants)
-A roo
-An Emu
-A cockatoo (fuckers can bite like all hell)
-Magpaies, lots of magpies.
-A saltie, (thank fuck I got behind that fence)
-All of the spiders (except white tails)
-a scorpian
-as well as a whole swathe of non-native animals
In addtion
-a frill necked lizard put my uncle in hospital
-I saw a wombat fuck up another wombat (who knew that they even fought)
-A guest got fucked up by a koala that she tried to touch (retard)
- A mate got stung by a platypus.

Do you live in a country town and/or zoo?

On topic: I can't blame you for being paranoid, I'm convinced 90% of Americans are gun-toting hics waiting to rob and kill me. It made my time in Texas extra fun. <.<;

A country town, but most of this happened in other country towns

 

[madster11]

And they FUCKING FOLLOW YOU WHEN YOU RUN AWAY

They just want a hug.

 

[tycho0042]

that spider is distressingly big. Like seriously, if I saw one of those I might have to kill it with fire. I'm not touching something that big even with my boots. I can't imagine someone watching that process happening. whelp, it's heebie-jeebie time and I gotta get to bed so that creature can haunt my nightmares for the next few weeks...

 

[Scarim Coral]

I just glad there was no close up photo of the snake eating spider (I was brave enough to click the link and watch the video).
I guess this shows who's the top predator now.

 

[WaReloaded]

I live in Victoria and I've never seen a snake outside of a zoo nor have I been attacked by something other than a mosquito. However, I can't say the same for Spira, Cyrodiil or Azeroth...

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by
-A king brown snake (survival tip 1-thick pants)
-A roo
-An Emu
-A cockatoo (fuckers can bite like all hell)
-Magpaies, lots of magpies.
-A saltie, (thank fuck I got behind that fence)
-All of the spiders (except white tails)
-a scorpian
-as well as a whole swathe of non-native animals
In addtion
-a frill necked lizard put my uncle in hospital
-I saw a wombat fuck up another wombat (who knew that they even fought)
-A guest got fucked up by a koala that she tried to touch (retard)
- A mate got stung by a platypus.

Koala's? Seriously? But they're so cuddly looking!

Also aren't they like the stoners of the animal kingdom because of all the eucalyptus they eat? How the hell can they fight when they can barely even move? It would be like fighting a sloth.

 

[Pegghead]

Oh look, it's this thread again.

Mate, I have never seen a snake outside of the zoo (and this coming from a guy who loves himself a bit of the great outdoors). I know it's funny to think of Australia as being held together by spider-webs and snake venom, but the fact that you seem legitimately terrified takes it to a new, ever so slightly offensive level.

I mean Christ, America has BEARS. Fucking bears:

So I'll just be out chilling down at the beach with my meat-pie and my esky full of cold drinks safe in the knowledge that the constructed fears of Americans regarding my country will surely keep the bears out.

 

[Death Carr]

The following is a recollection of a true story from two or three years ago:
I was camping with my family, we had just gone to bed and I was laying down in my tent, one solitary arm sticking out of the sleeping bag (BIG FUCKING MISTAKE). I feel something move on my arm, open my eyes, and there's a huntsman the size of a desk fan crawling up my arm. In one fluid movement I swatted it off my arm, leapt out of the sleeping bag, broke through the door on the tent and fell into the still warm ashes of the fire from earlier.

I didn't sleep that night.
Never found the fucker either.

 

[Deadyawn]

Fact is that none of these things have got anything on drop bears.
Seriously, all the supposedly dangerous spiders and snakes are small time. Drop bears will wreck your day and all subsequent days. Permanently.
They live in trees and drop down on their prey, predominently unsuspecting tourists. They're the closest real world equivalent to a deathclaw. Except worse.
No one knows what they look like because no one has ever seen one and lived. They're like grues in that you'll never see them coming.

See also: Bunyip.

 

[the clockmaker]

In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by
-A king brown snake (survival tip 1-thick pants)
-A roo
-An Emu
-A cockatoo (fuckers can bite like all hell)
-Magpaies, lots of magpies.
-A saltie, (thank fuck I got behind that fence)
-All of the spiders (except white tails)
-a scorpian
-as well as a whole swathe of non-native animals
In addtion
-a frill necked lizard put my uncle in hospital
-I saw a wombat fuck up another wombat (who knew that they even fought)
-A guest got fucked up by a koala that she tried to touch (retard)
- A mate got stung by a platypus.

Koala's? Seriously? But they're so cuddly looking!

Also aren't they like the stoners of the animal kingdom because of all the eucalyptus they eat? How the hell can they fight when they can barely even move? It would be like fighting a sloth.

oh yeah, they're all lazy and cuddly right up until the point a retard tries to pick them up at which point

they will fuck you up.

 

[KeyMaster45]

I thought this was relevant.

Spoiler

Haha, I had a similar experience with a possum awhile back. I was going to put a string of firecrackers over the mailbox and light em to scare it off, but then I saw it had some babies in its pouch. Needless to say I was disarmed by the "daaawww", so I hung a cat toy from a stick and got it to attack that thus forcing it to leap out of the mailbox and scurry somewhere dark.

 

[AlexLoxate]

I fucking hate spiders. Gas them, gas them to death.

 

[putowtin]

I love this quote from the guide to Austrailia Spiders and Snakes page:

"Honest, if you go and see a doctor here and tell them a Redback bit you, they'll just tell you to go home and put ice on it."

 

[Ix Rebound]

In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by
-A king brown snake (survival tip 1-thick pants)
-A roo
-An Emu
-A cockatoo (fuckers can bite like all hell)
-Magpaies, lots of magpies.
-A saltie, (thank fuck I got behind that fence)
-All of the spiders (except white tails)
-a scorpian
-as well as a whole swathe of non-native animals
In addtion
-a frill necked lizard put my uncle in hospital
-I saw a wombat fuck up another wombat (who knew that they even fought)
-A guest got fucked up by a koala that she tried to touch (retard)
- A mate got stung by a platypus.

any regrets?

 

[Ix Rebound]

The only good bug is a dead bug. Would you like to know more?

yes

 

[FamoFunk]

Discussion value: The spiders. How do we destroy them?

Spoiler

Let them burn in hell so we, as humans, can live in peace and from fear on this Earth.

 

[Bealzibob]

Don't want to alarm you buddy but i'm not a fucking snake so it's not my problem

No but seriously Australia's quite nice and it's only the heat that will kill me to be honest.

 

[Nouw]

The only good bug is a dead bug. Would you like to know more?

yes

Carry on citizen.

 

[the clockmaker]

In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by
-A king brown snake (survival tip 1-thick pants)
-A roo
-An Emu
-A cockatoo (fuckers can bite like all hell)
-Magpaies, lots of magpies.
-A saltie, (thank fuck I got behind that fence)
-All of the spiders (except white tails)
-a scorpian
-as well as a whole swathe of non-native animals
In addtion
-a frill necked lizard put my uncle in hospital
-I saw a wombat fuck up another wombat (who knew that they even fought)
-A guest got fucked up by a koala that she tried to touch (retard)
- A mate got stung by a platypus.

any regrets?

Watching alien vs predator.
.....What?