Xbone Week #2

[Imp_Emissary]

Spoiler: Why did I immediately think of this?

Strangely enough, if the Xbox One did grow many legs and commit murderous midnight rampages I'd be more tempted to buy one.

As a present for 'friends', obviously.

If you find such a thing.
*Hands over a list of names and addresses*
Do what comes naturally with that thing you just found on the street.

I'm curious.
Who are the two guys on "Keith's" shoulders suppose to be?

 

[Proverbial Jon]

I know that wall in the background of panel two does actually say Xbox One but all I can genuinely see now when I look at it is "Xbone".

Congratulations gaming press for attaching permanent ridicule to this ridiculous device!

 

[Hairless Mammoth]

Would they just tell us already? Both Microsoft and Sony. It would take one quick press release to explain everything that has us worried. Are they trying to lure us in with "Cawl ov Dootie" and "Heighloe Phive" just to get everyone excited then say "Oh, yeah, you gotta pay full price for used games , the kinect is sentient and records your every action plus fear, and xbone phones home every 24hrs so EA isn't frothing at the mouth about used games while still closing down decent developers."

If they expect this news to last a long time at E3 then I am worried that they don't have anything more interesting in store for us when E3 does come around. It is just gonna be "We care about our consumers, bla, bla, bla, That is why we are gouging their wallets bla, bla and making them sign on every 24 hours." What could be said in 2 minutes will take 30, and we won't know as much about these exclusives as we could have.

More importantly, they are already loosing sales to this DRM travesty because they have not been clear and even made contradicting statements about it. When E3 comes about there may be large potential of customers that have already sided with Nintendo or Sony, or switched to PC. Just look at the Wii U sales jump after Xbone's announcement.

 

[Lieju]

I feel so bad for the Xbone reps who are tasked with dealing with the public.
They aren't making the decisions on what to tell, so all they can do is dodge questions.

Or lose their jobs. (Or worse, I hear the new Kinect is powered by tortured souls)

 

[Username Redacted]

I feel so bad for the Xbone reps who are tasked with dealing with the public.
They aren't making the decisions on what to tell, so all they can do is dodge questions.

Or lose their jobs. (Or worse, I hear the new Kinect is powered by tortured souls)

I don't. Their job is similar to the thankless job that is White House Press Secretary. They take a lot of shit and most people can't handle the work but you know what? They get paid.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

Spoiler: Why did I immediately think of this?

Strangely enough, if the Xbox One did grow many legs and commit murderous midnight rampages I'd be more tempted to buy one.

As a present for 'friends', obviously.

If you find such a thing.
*Hands over a list of names and addresses*
Do what comes naturally with that thing you just found on the street.

I'm curious.
Who are the two guys on "Keith's" shoulders suppose to be?

Microsoft have missed a trick here. There's clearly a commercial market for assassin droids disguised as harmless domestic appliances.

 

[Imp_Emissary]

Spoiler: Why did I immediately think of this?

Strangely enough, if the Xbox One did grow many legs and commit murderous midnight rampages I'd be more tempted to buy one.

As a present for 'friends', obviously.

If you find such a thing.
*Hands over a list of names and addresses*
Do what comes naturally with that thing you just found on the street.

Microsoft have missed a trick here. There's clearly a commercial market for assassin droids disguised as harmless domestic appliances.

:/ Why did all that make me think of the brave little toaster?

Hmmmmm.....
<.< Don't know if I trust that face anymore....

 

[Hairless Mammoth]

I feel so bad for the Xbone reps who are tasked with dealing with the public.
They aren't making the decisions on what to tell, so all they can do is dodge questions.

Or lose their jobs. (Or worse, I hear the new Kinect is powered by tortured souls)

So the xbone is the Emperor's Golden Throne from Warhammer 40000?

Now I want one.

 

[OverEZ]

"Nyyeehehheeehyyeh?"

Nailed it.

 

[Mortamus]

As much as I enjoy the convenience of console gaming, I just feel so turned off from ever buying a new one when these are the business practices of the companies that manufacture them. I never thought I'd see the day when my 3DS provides me with better customer service experiences than my home console. Then I buy something on Steam or through Humble Bundle and remember that there are groups that actually care about games and the gamer.

 

[oliver.begg]

I'm curious.
Who are the two guys on "Keith's" shoulders suppose to be?

one's from microsoft PR, the others from Sony

 

[Imp_Emissary]

I'm curious.
Who are the two guys on "Keith's" shoulders suppose to be?

one's from microsoft PR, the others from Sony

Ha ha ha!
Which one is which? You could make arguments for the second or first one being form Sony.

 

[bug_of_war]

...Wait until E3 to get answer.

An answer that will just raise further questions.

It'll be just like Prometheus all over again.

Jokes aside, I've already decided the Xbox One is not for me, but it'll be interesting what Microsoft decide to answer/show at E3.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

Spoiler: Why did I immediately think of this?

Strangely enough, if the Xbox One did grow many legs and commit murderous midnight rampages I'd be more tempted to buy one.

As a present for 'friends', obviously.

If you find such a thing.
*Hands over a list of names and addresses*
Do what comes naturally with that thing you just found on the street.

Microsoft have missed a trick here. There's clearly a commercial market for assassin droids disguised as harmless domestic appliances.

:/ Why did all that make me think of the brave little toaster?

Hmmmmm.....
<.< Don't know if I trust that face anymore....

Toasters, you say?


Never, ever trust 'em.

 

[oliver.begg]

I'm curious.
Who are the two guys on "Keith's" shoulders suppose to be?

one's from microsoft PR, the others from Sony

Ha ha ha!
Which one is which? You could make arguments for the second or first one being form Sony.

the one thats sweating and screaming works for microsoft

or maybe...

both are from sony, and microsoft is really really disprate for any advice

 

[NightmareWarden]

How long has Microsoft been in the business of selling things to people?

You'd think they'd know how to not perforate their own rectums by now.

As a matter of fact, it looks like they're *equip sunglasses* x-BONED. YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH...

Back on topic: In my eyes Microsoft's plan to dodge questions is comparable to the plan of many major political figures campaigning for something. I feel a sort of pity for some of the people that designed the most talked about features of the Xbone for I'm willing to bet that some of them truly believe that their creation is innovative. I am referring to the additions of skype, facebook likes, netflix yada-yada-yada. I do not think that repackaging old (internet-time) programs into a supposedly worthwhile combo package is innovative.

Right now their product is worthless in my eyes until I receive more information. Until E3, my current understanding of Microsoft's intentions is to try to "step out of" the console war. It doesn't seem like they want to advertise it as a great gaming console, so I doubt the gaming aspect is at the top of their list of priorities. Who knows, perhaps the Xbone will become widely beloved for reasons OTHER THAN the fact that it can play video games. It isn't a crime to try to branch out, away from gaming consoles. It is incredibly annoying of Microsoft to mislead the gaming crowd, despite the possible fact that they are putting said crowd on the backseat of their priorities.

 

[LongAndShort]

Always nice to see the head of the nail meeting the hammer.

Can't help but be reminded of the Rum Diaries, when they said the best way to raise taxes by 5% is to release rumours that taxes are going to be raised by 10%. Then when everybody freaks out you come in with the 'compromise' of 5%. Wonder if Microsoft is attempting something similar (but fucking up royally).

Good analogy.
Sony may even be smarter: waiting to see what the shitstorm looks like then saying "we're only going to raise 3%. I honestly think Sony had something similar in mind (they were very carefully wording things during their reveal) in terms of child harvesting but were waiting to see if MS would show their hand first. I just hope the public outcry is enough to make the platform developers realize they can't completely buttfuck the consumer like that.
I think George Carlin said it best; he usually did:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SibF7GIOiSU

He did say it well. It is very worrying, watching this little game of Microsoft and Sony. There's a reason these companies have taken such dives recently, and I think it's a damn shame that they're gonna likely have to destroy their console divisions to figure out why.

 

[Revolutionary]

I expect that we're going to get a lot more info at E3, and all the Microsoft minions have been instructed to keep their mouths shut until then.

 

[Olas]

Why is Walter White at the Microsoft press conference?

 

[taltamir]

It is easy to blame the PR team for being incompetent.
But their job is to take feces and make the desirable and that is... well, very hard.

I am pretty sure the rumors are spot on.