I would agree, but isn't it also unhealthy? I'm no expert, but my understanding is that it can lead to the birth of some (genetically) messed up kids.MammothBlade said:
Oops! Sorry. I got your post and another's mixed up. Forget I said anything.
You discover your children are attracted to each other...
- Thread starter chinangel
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Oops! Sorry. I got your post and another's mixed up. Forget I said anything.
I could not in good faith actively allow and support my children doing something illegal.
Cuz, you know, incest is ILLEGAL.
As in, you'll go to prison and be registered sex offenders if you're caught.
Because it's ILLEGAL.
Cuz, you know, incest is ILLEGAL.
As in, you'll go to prison and be registered sex offenders if you're caught.
Because it's ILLEGAL.
- Mar 31, 2010
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Not necessarily, depends on what country and state you live in. Incest between consenting adults is legal in quite a few countries, including France, Spain, China, Israel, Turkey and Russia, to name a few.Iwantstuff said:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_regarding_incest
Of course, if it's illegal in your own jurisdiction then you have a point that stands for yourself, just pointing out that doesn't apply everywhere.
Well, this was an interesting thread to wake up to.
That being said, I feel like this is an issue where I'll say one thing here right now, not actually being in the situation, but if it were to truly happen to me I'd react entirely different.
I can't pinpoint why, but I feel like this is something that is different than your children simply revealing they have a differing sexual orientation than you expected. This is revealing that they have a different sexual orientation towards each other . I can't honestly say if I wouldn't sit down and try to figure out if it was something that I did. Like people have said, the human mind is a complicated thing, making it a possibility that something I did, whether how I treated them or maybe how I let someone else treat them, made them attracted towards each other.
However, present rational me on this thread is saying that while I'm sure I'd find it incredibly shocking to say the least, I'm not sure if I could really do anything. To be honest, at that young of an age, I don't believe I'd facilitate those feelings. Sure, I can't get rid of them, and I'm sure I wouldn't try to, but as smart as some 14-16 year olds are, there are many that still don't know what they want in life. I'd say I would have to do my best to express that I don't want to appeal to this action, but I wouldn't do so in a way that would repress them.
Once they are adults however, my job is done. If they decide they still have feelings there is literally nothing I could do, but I'd at least feel better that they are old enough to have had time to think about it.
That being said, I feel like this is an issue where I'll say one thing here right now, not actually being in the situation, but if it were to truly happen to me I'd react entirely different.
I can't pinpoint why, but I feel like this is something that is different than your children simply revealing they have a differing sexual orientation than you expected. This is revealing that they have a different sexual orientation towards each other . I can't honestly say if I wouldn't sit down and try to figure out if it was something that I did. Like people have said, the human mind is a complicated thing, making it a possibility that something I did, whether how I treated them or maybe how I let someone else treat them, made them attracted towards each other.
However, present rational me on this thread is saying that while I'm sure I'd find it incredibly shocking to say the least, I'm not sure if I could really do anything. To be honest, at that young of an age, I don't believe I'd facilitate those feelings. Sure, I can't get rid of them, and I'm sure I wouldn't try to, but as smart as some 14-16 year olds are, there are many that still don't know what they want in life. I'd say I would have to do my best to express that I don't want to appeal to this action, but I wouldn't do so in a way that would repress them.
Once they are adults however, my job is done. If they decide they still have feelings there is literally nothing I could do, but I'd at least feel better that they are old enough to have had time to think about it.
Yeah that's the number one thing that needs to be clear here. Very well put.[REDACTED said:
I agree with all of the posters here that the age factor would be the biggest issue. Teenage romances rarely last and that could tear the family apart. But at the same time what could I as a parent do? The only way I could be sure they'd listen to my order to cool off and separate for a while would be to physically separate them by sending one off to live with a distant relative or something. And in that case then they'd just hate me forever and the family would be ruined again anyway.
Eh according to the Bible the whole world is descended from just 2 people. Then the world was repopulated from a single family AGAIN after the great flood. To say nothing of all the cousin marrying in that book. And that one time those two sisters get their dad drunk to try and repopulate the earth when they thought they were the only ones left.Paradox SuXcess said:
I would let it happen. I don't really find incest as horrible and disgusting as other people do especially between similarly aged siblings and I would not want to dictate to my kids who they can love and have sex with. Since there won't be a child due to the same gender then there is really no reason I can see to not let them be together other than that I want to force my own values on them.
There are of course circumstances where I would stop it such as one of them being too young or being pressured into it by the older sibling but I would be stopping it because of those circumstances, it would have nothing to do with them being related.
There are of course circumstances where I would stop it such as one of them being too young or being pressured into it by the older sibling but I would be stopping it because of those circumstances, it would have nothing to do with them being related.
Alek_the_Great said:
Actually, that very much depends on where you live.Iwantstuff said:
I read up on this recently, and I was really surprised at how many countries either outright allow incest in some forms or don't actually have laws specifically prohibiting it.
Apparently, incest between consenting adults is legal in the Netherlands, Spain and Russia (but they can't marry), among other places. Half-siblings can marry in Sweden if they get permission from the government.
Now, I have no idea how much this reflects cultural attitudes in those countries, and it's entirely possible that it's still a social taboo, but it seems the attitude that incest is always wrong isn't as universal as you might think.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_regarding_incest
EDIT: Damn, ninja'd
Wouldn't let them, don't think it's healthy.
First of all it's not all that uncommon for siblings to have a not completely equal relationship, even without parents knowing. Growing up together it's easy for one of them to take on a leading role where the other feels pressured to agree and follow, even if they feel uncomfortable about doing so. I don't see that as a good basis for a romantic relationship.
Next to that, should it go wrong where's the support structure? That's generally your family. If serious shit happens in their life, like major relationship problems, and they feel completely lost then I'd want for my kids, if I ever get any, to always be able to come home and feel safe and comfortable there. They can't do that if they're having relationship problems with their siblings, their parental home will never be a safe place for that.
The problems with incest don't stop at inbred children, that's quite minor as I see it. There's bigger issues with it, family relations just aren't suited for romantic relations. They're there for a very different purpose.
They can deny themselves for a bit, they're in puberty and will meet another wonderful guy or gal with whom they don't share such a defining past and with whom they can make a clean break in the future should things go wrong.
First of all it's not all that uncommon for siblings to have a not completely equal relationship, even without parents knowing. Growing up together it's easy for one of them to take on a leading role where the other feels pressured to agree and follow, even if they feel uncomfortable about doing so. I don't see that as a good basis for a romantic relationship.
Next to that, should it go wrong where's the support structure? That's generally your family. If serious shit happens in their life, like major relationship problems, and they feel completely lost then I'd want for my kids, if I ever get any, to always be able to come home and feel safe and comfortable there. They can't do that if they're having relationship problems with their siblings, their parental home will never be a safe place for that.
The problems with incest don't stop at inbred children, that's quite minor as I see it. There's bigger issues with it, family relations just aren't suited for romantic relations. They're there for a very different purpose.
They can deny themselves for a bit, they're in puberty and will meet another wonderful guy or gal with whom they don't share such a defining past and with whom they can make a clean break in the future should things go wrong.
I would do what I could to dissuade them from acting out on their attraction. As a parent my first duty is to ensure that they are given the best chance I can so they can survive and thrive in the world. Incest is a huge impediment to that, regardless of the genders of the participants.chinangel said:
First, it may or may not be legal in the area they're living. This means the participants need to keep this a closely guarded secret or potentially face legal action taken against them. Keeping a secret like this is going to be a source of stress for the rest of their lives and stress is an unpredictable thing. As a parent I have to be extremely wary of letting a secret like this take root.
Second, it is a social taboo regardless of legality. People have a natural instinct against incest that is regularly codified into their cultures. So even if it is legal in the area it is highly unlikely that people will be accepting of it, meaning that it will still need to be kept a secret. In which case the stress mentioned above is present, albeit from a slightly different angle. Again, as a parent it's my duty to give them the best possible chance in life, and letting them keep a social taboo secret for the rest of their lives is something that is not going to help them. Add to this the social taboo in many places against homosexuality that is still incredibly strong.
Third, they are going to spend the rest of their lives being forced to interact. If their sexual relationship ends poorly they look forward to a lifetime of jilted lovers that can't simply ignore the presence of the other; they're going to have to interact when it comes to such things as the death (or incapacitation) of parents and other relatives, divvying up parental belongings, legal issues surrounding who has power of attorney and the like, etc. This can be stressful enough when there is no sexual relationship involved. My mother's family is completely dysfunctional without any sexual relationships in place, so by having grown up in that sort of situation I have experience that my children would lack - I can point out specific instances of dysfunction within their own extended family as potential outcomes for their current hoped-for actions.
Fourth, they're KIDS. They're 14-16. In 10 years they are going to be completely different people. Even if they have an amicable ending to their sexual relationship they're going to look back on it differently. They're too young to be entirely certain if what they're experiencing is what they're going to grow into. They may find out that they're actually homosexual or bisexual, but they may find that they actually aren't - that the attraction is something else. If they're different ages, is the older one in a position of "power" - where the younger one idolizes the older one in some way? Does the older one initiate the situation, and does it flatter the younger one? Is there an undercurrent of fear in the relationship - that they feel a same-sex attraction but are afraid to act on it? And so the idea that someone within the family, who would be willing to keep it a secret, would become a viable partner to act on the same sex attraction? Etc. This can lead to the bad break up if one partner begins to feel exploited.
I can go on, get more detailed and more complex, but really it all comes down to the fact that incest is not acceptable in most societies, so even if I was accepting of it (which I'm not) as a parent I would have to do what I could to dissuade it, for the long term good of my kids.
Now, what I WOULD try to do is to encourage them to look for same sex partners outside of the family. I would make it crystal clear that I'm dissuading the INCEST, not the SAME SEX attraction. And I'd be completely honest with them why I'm dissuading them and entirely avoid the "Argument from Authority" fallacy, because all that would really do is to make them try to stand up to authority by actively defying me.
I'd make sure to keep a lot of condoms around. It's never anyone's prerogative to dictate any aspect of anyone else's expression or sexuality, as long as everyone involved are consenting adults of legal age, no matter whose vagina they were born out of. The fact that they're 14-16 means that, under the definition provided by the law, they're not capable of making competent decisions, and thus, can't actually give consent to have sex with anyone, except at 16 in certain states. 17 in others, and 18 in the rest.
If their budding relationship is still growing when they're old enough, then obviously they're intelligent enough to make their own decisions about their love lives.
And since I believe that every couple who wants children should be adopting the ones that have already been made and feeding them instead of making new mouths to feed, until the orphanages are empty, the matter of inbred children is a non-issue. Besides, any kids I have the misfortune of having to raise would be adopted anyway.
...I'm a terrible mother. lul
If their budding relationship is still growing when they're old enough, then obviously they're intelligent enough to make their own decisions about their love lives.
And since I believe that every couple who wants children should be adopting the ones that have already been made and feeding them instead of making new mouths to feed, until the orphanages are empty, the matter of inbred children is a non-issue. Besides, any kids I have the misfortune of having to raise would be adopted anyway.
...I'm a terrible mother. lul
I don't know why most people are OK with incest. Are you single childs? As someone who has a sibling I find the notion disgusting. Send my non-existent kids to therapy.
I think the taboo of incest is overblown in modern culture. By this I mean consensual sexual relationship between close relatives, not any kind of sexual abuse. With the ease by which pregnancies can be prevented these days, the risk of children can be pretty much eliminated, so I would have no problem with even different sex siblings doing what they like, so long as they are not hurting anyone and know what they are doing. Of course in this scenario with one being below the age of consent (the age of consent in Finland is 16) they would need some strict talking to to make sure they know what they are getting into and what might be lost as a result.
If they stay together and want children later, they can adopt one. There are way too many people in the world already, so they might as well avoid adding to that number.
Heck, if sometime in the future we get the technology to correct genetic defects, there would be even less reason for the taboo, but culture tends to evolve way slower than technology, so it is unlikely incest will be generally accepted anytime soon, perhaps ever.
EDIT:
If they stay together and want children later, they can adopt one. There are way too many people in the world already, so they might as well avoid adding to that number.
Heck, if sometime in the future we get the technology to correct genetic defects, there would be even less reason for the taboo, but culture tends to evolve way slower than technology, so it is unlikely incest will be generally accepted anytime soon, perhaps ever.
EDIT:
I'm a middle child with four siblings, but still OK with incest. I have no interest in any of my siblings, but that doesn't mean I can't understand how someone might have romantic interest in their siblings and I don't find the notion in any way disgusting.Johnny Novgorod said:
As much as I don't agree with incest, once they're 18+ and moved out they can do whatever they want. I'll still love my children regardless.
They have to move out before they start getting sexual. Even if my kids had normal relationships, I am not allowing my kids to just fuck all over my house because "muh sexuality" "muh expression". I'm not even a prude but I personally never felt okay with having sex in my parents home so I've never done it, and I don't expect my kids to.
They have to move out before they start getting sexual. Even if my kids had normal relationships, I am not allowing my kids to just fuck all over my house because "muh sexuality" "muh expression". I'm not even a prude but I personally never felt okay with having sex in my parents home so I've never done it, and I don't expect my kids to.
True, but in pretty much every place I've lived or am probably going to live it's illegal. The legality is pretty much the only part of it I'd actively object to, because at that age they're my responsibility and I DON'T want them to be doing something that could send them to jail for 5+ years.Eamar said:
Once they turned eighteen I'd urge them to live someplace where it WASN'T illegal if they still insisted. I doubt I'd ever understand their situation just because it's something so foreign to me, but just because I'm their parent doesn't give me the right to police their morals after they're independent.
Oh I certainly know about that part of the bible. The story about the one with the daughters getting their father drunk and sleeping with him to populate the planet, was the one I was going to mention until I stopped myself. Yeah the bible highlighted incest but only for the means of repopulating the earth but we kinda don't need to expand the population anyone do we? I was going to include the bible in my view point but then thought, "I think may already know similar things had to happen with Adam & Eve's children."Ratty said:
I did not know this, but that's hardly the fault of the couple but rather of society itself and it's outdated attitudes. I suppose, until such archaic ideas are changed, incest couples must accept the lack of parenting entirely then, which is a shame.Eamar said:
So kids committing incest today are fucking for the sake of it are just bored? I am not saying you are saying this by the way, just maybe that's a factor. I know in this case of the OP, it's sister on sister, brother on brother. Is it boredom they are expressing and sexual experimentation or is it platonic love that turned into something more serious and emotional? Well this takes "boys and girls can't be just friends" to a whole other level.Alek_the_Great said:
I would be cool with it I suppose but make sure nothing happened to cause them to be that way. Breeding with incest is a bad thing but I see no reason to stop you from humping whomever you please as long as no babies are produced.
Good thread, I like weird questions like this
Good thread, I like weird questions like this
While incesteous siblings makes for an interesting hypothetical scenario regarding tolerance, in reality it tends to result from coercion and abuse as I believe it is, at least not common, to form a natural attraction to someone you've a) known since birth and b) is so genetically similar. I would be extremely cautious and dubious as to the nature of the relationship and probably consult a psychologist.
Besides even if it was all normal and consensual, it would be super awkward if they broke up. It's like when two of your friends decide to date and then make it problematic for the group when they hate each other afterwards, except it would be with your family and you'd all be living together...
Besides even if it was all normal and consensual, it would be super awkward if they broke up. It's like when two of your friends decide to date and then make it problematic for the group when they hate each other afterwards, except it would be with your family and you'd all be living together...