You got a (forced) deal with the devil!

[LordLoudmouth]

The Devil himself pops out and curses you: You have incredible luck and you will have everything absolutely awesome in your life with one condition: You must be rude to all you see, say obnoxious things to everybody you talk to, can´t have a relationship and after every day you must kill somebody, although consequence free.
If you fail any of these conditions more than once, "Thine soul shall belong to me!" is writen in the next mirror you say and you will die.
Thou shalt be thine moral compas. Eternal torture or killing till you are the last alive.

 

[darth.pixie]

Isn't that...damned if you, damned if you don't, literally?

Either the soul belongs by default or you kill until you actually belong.

I'd look up for loopholes. You always see them in the movies or books, sacrifice yourself for something or true love or whatever.

 

[ThatDaveDude1]

If you're eternally lucky then you can just find a loophole in the deal and go about your business like a fucking boss.

EDIT: Loopholes;
"You must be rude to all you see"
^Be Sarcastic, nobody will care.

"say obnoxious things to everybody you talk to"
^Again, Sarcasm

"Can´t have a relationship"
^Find a girl with amnesia. Doesn't count as a relationship if she doesn't remember.

"after every day you must kill somebody, although consequence free."
^Fuck said girl every night, but wear a condom. If you're lucky (Which you are because of the deal) the devil will be ultra-conservative and count birth control as murder.

 

[Jark212]

Search for God, with my incredible luck I'll find him/her in a couple of minuets, then I'll ask for help...

Problem solved on day 1...

 

[Optional Opinion]

after every day you must kill somebody, although consequence free.

I'll kill myself.

If it's consequence free does that mean I go to heaven and spend the rest of my days in eternal happiness, instead of being licked by the flames of hell?

 

[0mn1p0t3ntg6y]

It seems as though you're in a dead end. Unless you have a good lawyer to find a loop-hole you may go insane from the murder and the fact that everyone truly hates every fiber of your being.

 

[Palademon]

So in other words, just being one of those pricks we hate.

My solution: Continue being a dick until I'm pile drived.

 

[Anarchemitis]

The devil has no power that the power of God cannot surmount and exceed.

If in this context God does not exist, why does the Devil?

 

[Drafon]

Oh well this is easy. Replicate Yahtzee, then f*** anything with a vagina and then pay a visit to the local elder homes and commit euthanasia.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Play the stock markets one day, get millions of dollars, find true love, basically do everything in one day (you can, you're lucky), then go to the next day. wait till he wants you,t hen before he takes you, offer a fiddle contest. because you will still be lucky, you win, and you win your soul, with all the bounties.

Take that Satan!

 

[DJDarque]

This is oddly specific.

If I am extremely lucky, I will find a way to prove the devil does not exist.

Problem solved.

 

[Nietz]

The sad thing for me is that the answer to such a... err... morally bankrupt(???) question is so easy. And it is a shame, since it kinda makes me feel morally bankrupt as-well. Then again... I've never been very moral anyway.

So,my answer would be to kill, kill and kill some more. Se, for me, living is the only option. From a completely egotistical standpoint I want to keep on living, feeling and breathing. Sure, the idea of sacrificing myself for the good of the world seems glorious and all that jazz, but at the end of the day, I still feel much more like living than being damned and tortured for the rest of eternity. I can, theoretically, get around the idea of being a martyr, but not practically. The self in me is to strong to let it go down.

One could argue that being a general ass-hole and murderer can be torture in itself, but being alive has it's benefits of actually doing and feeling other things than just pain.

So, in conclusion, I think that I would actually do what the devil asks of me. I'm not particularly proud of it, but it seems to be the only option where I actually get something out of it. Heck, just writing it makes me feel kinda like an ass-hole. A person whom the punishment would be fitting, granted that I ever had to commit the crimes.

 

[lacktheknack]

If Satan, exists, then God does.

"Mmkay, God, I need help out of this... could you please banhammer Satan so hard that is head comes out the other side of him and he forgets his curse? Thanks."

I win.

 

[Wintermoot]

1. ask for wishes
2. ask soul back
3. ?????
4. PROFIT!!!!!

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

This question is bogus. The whole point to the "devil makes deal for soul" myths are to show how easily humans can be tempted into short term gain in exchange for long term loss (and the short term gain usually bites them in the ass anyway). The story just does not work if the human is forced into the bargain.

Plus, I don't believe in a devil the first pla-


....Ah, what the heck, I'll play along with the thread and give an answer.

I'd start my killing spree with HIM, before he can leave. That SHOULD cancel out the curse, or at least earn me enough good karma to get my curse lifted. And since I'm now ridiculously lucky (on top of my already VERY good luck!), it should work. Or if I have absolutely no way out, I will become a superhero and begin purging criminals.

...Yeah, I don't like getting taken advantage of for amusement, nor do I take kindly to the idea of my relationship being trashed by an outside force. I would get the damn curse lifted if at all possible.

I'll kill myself.

If it's consequence free does that mean I go to heaven and spend the rest of my days in eternal happiness, instead of being licked by the flames of hell?

Not a bad loophole. But the problem is, YOU STILL DIE. That just sucks.

If Satan, exists, then God does.
"Mmkay, God, I need help out of this... could you please banhammer Satan so hard that is head comes out the other side of him and he forgets his curse? Thanks."
I win.

Yeah, that's the best solution. Good loophole.

 

[Auxiliary]

So pretty much continue what I am currently doing and get extreme luck and everything I want as a bonus? YAY! Christmas came early.

 

[Shanecooper]

Reinstall counter strike.
Problem solved.