You got a (forced) deal with the devil!

[DefunctTheory]

Get a priest to free me from this forced contract.

On a side note, I'm watching the show Reaper right now. Weird.

 

[RedEyesBlackGamer]

If you're eternally lucky then you can just find a loophole in the deal and go about your business like a fucking boss.

EDIT: Loopholes;
"You must be rude to all you see"
^Be Sarcastic, nobody will care.

"say obnoxious things to everybody you talk to"
^Again, Sarcasm

"Can´t have a relationship"
^Find a girl with amnesia. Doesn't count as a relationship if she doesn't remember.

"after every day you must kill somebody, although consequence free."
^Fuck said girl every night, but wear a condom. If you're lucky (Which you are because of the deal) the devil will be ultra-conservative and count birth control as murder.

He said "kill somebody". He never said it couldn't be virtually. Just play a video game.

 

[ScorpSt]

Assuming those are the exact words of the contract, kill myself. If it's really consequence free, I won't stay dead. If I do, the devil lied and I should be able to get a refund (ie: my life back).

 

[Shanecooper]

No wait. Slap the Devil with a restraining order.
If the Devil is gonna let things like loopholes keep him from his souls, I'm fairly sure a court order would be worse than a cross.

 

[similar.squirrel]

Associate exclusively with people who deserve to be treated rudely. Kill meth dealers. Fall in love with a Satanist.

 

[VincentX3]

-Play Minecraft
-Use your luck to find more diamonds than usual
-Don't leave the house
-???
-PROFIT!!

 

[Sarge034]

If you're eternally lucky then you can just find a loophole in the deal and go about your business like a fucking boss.

EDIT: Loopholes;
"You must be rude to all you see"
^Be Sarcastic, nobody will care.

"say obnoxious things to everybody you talk to"
^Again, Sarcasm

"Can´t have a relationship"
^Find a girl with amnesia. Doesn't count as a relationship if she doesn't remember.

"after every day you must kill somebody, although consequence free."
^Fuck said girl every night, but wear a condom. If you're lucky (Which you are because of the deal) the devil will be ultra-conservative and count birth control as murder.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL... I think I just pissed my pants from laughter.

OT-The loophole is that you must agree to said deal before the Devil can have any controll over you.

Just say, "No..... U MAD?"

EDIT-

Or you could use the deal against him.....

 

[FalloutJack]

The Devil himself pops out and curses you: You have incredible luck and you will have everything absolutely awesome in your life with one condition: You must be rude to all you see, say obnoxious things to everybody you talk to, can´t have a relationship and after every day you must kill somebody, although consequence free.
If you fail any of these conditions more than once, "Thine soul shall belong to me!" is writen in the next mirror you say and you will die.
Thou shalt be thine moral compas. Eternal torture or killing till you are the last alive.

Oh, come on now. The devil can't just take your soul. If he were to perform any sort of curse sans agreement, he is merely threatening your life.

Besides, I already have incredible luck without the downsides.

 

[PoliceBox63]

Um I'd get someone to make me blind so I can't see any mirrors.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

But for me, that was just Tuesday.

 

[Paksenarrion]

I kill the devil.

Bam.

At first, I thought you said "Batman" instead of "Bam."

Goddamn Batman solves everything.

 

[BENZOOKA]

you will have everything absolutely awesome in your life

You must be rude to all you see, can´t have a relationship.
Inconsistency. I see it.

The consequence-free killing isn't that much of an issue: euthanasia, Death Note -styled killing of really bad people... Also, as it's really consequence-free, you won't feel a thing regarding it.

 

[RanD00M]

Prefect solution. Become famous musician, act like dick, get money, have a lot of sex and no one even bats an eye.

 

[Sarcastic_Applause]

by the sound of it, it means i'd get paid to act like House and go postal after work... The downside is where? i'd just be skipping along downtown with a revolver like some kind of inconspicuous brother of john wayne

 

[WaywardHaymaker]

Forced contract with Satan, you say? I'll take him to court. I know a GREAT lawyer.

 

[Svenparty]

The Devil himself pops out and curses you: You have incredible luck and you will have everything absolutely awesome in your life with one condition: You must be rude to all you see, say obnoxious things to everybody you talk to, can´t have a relationship and after every day you must kill somebody, although consequence free.
If you fail any of these conditions more than once, "Thine soul shall belong to me!" is writen in the next mirror you say and you will die.
Thou shalt be thine moral compas. Eternal torture or killing till you are the last alive.

Essentially your asking us if we would trade our lives with that of Charlie Sheens which I can totally get behind unquestionably. "Come on Satan Pimp my life you old dog!"

 

[fix-the-spade]

Search for God, with my incredible luck I'll find him/her in a couple of minuets, then I'll ask for help...

Problem solved on day 1...

Clever man.

Of course, with your inredible luck you'll not only find God but the love of your life and several winning lottery tickets along the way.

The Devil will get a lightning bolt, to the balls.

 

[HerbertTheHamster]

From which religion is this "Devil" and why is he rude enough to use "thou"?

I'm already a douchebag and you'd probably get used to killing people.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

I think this is the perfect scenario to become a dark vigilante.

Or only perform mercy killings for people who are willing.