You have a slave

[Relish in Chaos]

Jenifer Aniston. What shes hot.

I mean look at those legs. She may be over forty but daaaaaaamn is she hot.

Aaaaaaaand boner.

If she consented and was happy to submit to my will, I'd pick Emma Watson to be my sexy BDSM slave. I'd love to make that "girl next door"-type pretty woman my dirty cum-dumpster *****.

Oh god, I went too deep, didn't I? My apologies.

 

[Patrick Buck]

I choose Morgan Freeman...

...and his only task is to narrate my life in his amazingly soothing voice...

Stop reading my fantisy diary damnit, that's my dream! have one morning, with Morgan Freeman following me around, just... Talking.

 

[VonKlaw]

How did I know this discussion would get adult-rated reeealy quickly? Also loving how everyone is assuming BDSM subs are like that 24/7.

OT: Nobody, because I'd be super scared of it being like that crappy Cameron Diaz film where if I pick a slave, somebody gets to pick me in a non-stop circle of slavery.

 

[Craorach]

How did I know this discussion would get adult-rated reeealy quickly? Also loving how everyone is assuming BDSM subs are like that 24/7.

Hardly suprised... I'm more suprised by the number of people going "omg slavery is bad".

 

[Durgiun]

OK, I'd enslave Miley Cyrus and her orders would be to give me a foot massage every night at 9 PM and to deliver me a cold, tall glass of orange juice when I wake up.

Oh, and she has to wear a rainbow-coloured clown wig and answer to the name of Testosterone O'Testicle.

 

[MartianWarMachine]

Soooo many school bullies to choose from...

I'd pick the biggest, meanest one and send him out to commit atrocities upon the others, then have him do all kinds of humiliating things. And have him cybernetically augmented to serve me forever >:3

Done Deal.

What? I like Cybernetics... >.>

But you weren't mean to me for years... T^T

And besides, would you rather be a lobotomised Servitor, or a Techpriest? ^-^

 

[Necron_warrior]

My crush...?

God that's evil.

 

[nathan-dts]

Pope. Order him to kill his relgion.

 

[Substitute Troll]

...no one, slavery is a very bad thing and it is wrong to own one.

Did I miss the poitn whre we forgot that, can we check on that?

"Oh look, an obvious joke thread! Maybe if I spout my holier-than-thou opinions people might respect me!"

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I chose the OP just to make him regret making this thread. Tee hee hee.

 

[trooper6]

If I were given a slave, I'd immediately set them free--because slavery is wrong and people aren't property.

Now, let point out something I'm finding really disturbing. All you folks who want a female slave so that you can have sex with them whenever you want...you do realize that you are talking about rape, right? You are all talking about how cool and awesome it would be to be a rapist.

I shouldn't be, but I'm very surprised about how little you think about women as human beings, how little you care about rape, how willing you are to become rapists if given the chance.

Not cool.

"Oh look, an obvious joke thread! Maybe if I spout my holier-than-thou opinions people might respect me!"

1) Many of those people saying they would like to have these women as sex slaves don't seem to be joking.
2) For something to be a joke, it should be funny. Talking about raping women isn't funny.
2) Rape and slavery aren't jokes.

 

[BrotherSurplice]

Indrick Boreale. So that he can make epic speeches for me. And so that I can stop him losing any more companies of Blood Ravens. And so that he can interrupt my enemies.

 

[verdant monkai]

Hi due to your good behavior and recent success in whatever it is you have done lately you have just earned yourself one slave. You can enslave anyone you want but they are all you get(you will not get any of their assets, money etc). They must do whatever you say however.
So claim your slave.

I choose um.. er........ GOD, yes GOD.

I win. That is not up for debate (because God says so)

 

[the clockmaker]

...no one, slavery is a very bad thing and it is wrong to own one.

Did I miss the poitn whre we forgot that, can we check on that?

"Oh look, an obvious joke thread! Maybe if I spout my holier-than-thou opinions people might respect me!"

A question was asked and I gave my answer, who would I like to own as a slave, no one. But hey, lets start a new thread, 'If you could torture one person to death' 'if you could rape one person' 'if you could commit one act of terror' because having a 'joke' thread immediatly renders it immune to all critism.

 

[BeerTent]

Soooo many school bullies to choose from...

I'd pick the biggest, meanest one and send him out to commit atrocities upon the others, then have him do all kinds of humiliating things. And have him cybernetically augmented to serve me forever >:3

Done Deal.

What? I like Cybernetics... >.>

But you weren't mean to me for years... T^T

And besides, would you rather be a lobotomised Servitor, or a Techpriest? ^-^

As entertaining as lobotomy may be... I may have to go with the latter.
Shit, TBH, I'd be happy with just a deck.

Also, the Captcha is "roast beef" and it's moving back and forth. This is a little weird.

 

[Combustion Kevin]

dave chappelle,
just think of the material he'd come up with.

oh don't look at me like that. >.>

 

[C F]

Hmm...

Someone quiet and respectable, who wouldn't particularly mind subservience. Someone who is competent in a wide variety of fields, who is self-sufficient and unquestionably loyal. When I rise to power, they would need to recognize that my authority is not automatically theirs by extension. They would also need to be able to fill in as my aide-de-camp if the need should arise.

Oh, and whoever they may be, they'd have to be easy on the eyes. I am going to keep them around for a while after all, and I think my perfect slave should have some good looks on top of everything else.

You see, if I'm going to have a slave, I would like no regrets associated with them down the line. If they fail to meet the criteria, then I simply won't take a slave.

 

[MartianWarMachine]

Soooo many school bullies to choose from...

I'd pick the biggest, meanest one and send him out to commit atrocities upon the others, then have him do all kinds of humiliating things. And have him cybernetically augmented to serve me forever >:3

Done Deal.

What? I like Cybernetics... >.>

But you weren't mean to me for years... T^T

And besides, would you rather be a lobotomised Servitor, or a Techpriest? ^-^

As entertaining as lobotomy may be... I may have to go with the latter.
Shit, TBH, I'd be happy with just a deck.

Also, the Captcha is "roast beef" and it's moving back and forth. This is a little weird.

I don't think anyone would really want to be a Servitor...

I wouldn't be happy until I had more machinery and less flesh than an Iron Hands marine.

It's "flesh is good" propaganda! Kill it with fire and lasers and plasma and nukes!

 

[trooper6]

2) Rape and slavery aren't jokes.

Picture Elmer Fudd raping Porky Pig and then tell me you aren't laughing. EVERYTHING can be made into a Joke.

Nope, not laughing. I don't think women being raped is funny. I don't think men being raped is funny. I don't think anthropomorphic pigs being raped is funny.

 

[Shuguard]

dave chappelle,
just think of the material he'd come up with.

oh don't look at me like that. >.>

Darn beat me to it... In that case i choose Regina King for more Boondocks.