You kill. How?

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razer17

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AngloDoom said:
I'm more for doing it in a satisfying, but subtle way. Example, staging an accident, or at least making untraceable sabotage.

This could be anything from poison, to getting them to get hit by a bus. For some reason, the thought of killing someone myself feels almost below me...

Hmm, I think I just developed the ego necessary to become an evil genius...Then again "Poison" and "Fast bus" aren't exactly genius.

Ah well.
i would smother this guy with a union jack. for irony/ shits and giggles.
 

razer17

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Azraellod said:
hmm, something like a razer would probably suit my purposes just fine.

it can be used to kill quickly if I'm not in the mood, or alternatively i can use it to drag the killing out and make whoever it is suffer.
huh, you called? i'm not sure if you could cope with the huge payment i would require, and i take offense at being called "it"
 

AngloDoom

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razer17 said:
AngloDoom said:
I'm more for doing it in a satisfying, but subtle way. Example, staging an accident, or at least making untraceable sabotage.

This could be anything from poison, to getting them to get hit by a bus. For some reason, the thought of killing someone myself feels almost below me...

Hmm, I think I just developed the ego necessary to become an evil genius...Then again "Poison" and "Fast bus" aren't exactly genius.

Ah well.
i would smother this guy with a union jack. for irony/ shits and giggles.
I know where you live.


Seriously, I do. We get on the same bus...

ALUCARD!
 

razer17

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AngloDoom said:
i would smother this guy with a union jack. for irony/ shits and giggles.
I know where you live.

Seriously, I do. We get on the same bus...

ALUCARD![/quote]

nooo, don't reveal my secret identity/ which busses i may or may not get.
 

Azraellod

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razer17 said:
Azraellod said:
hmm, something like a razer would probably suit my purposes just fine.

it can be used to kill quickly if I'm not in the mood, or alternatively i can use it to drag the killing out and make whoever it is suffer.
huh, you called? i'm not sure if you could cope with the huge payment i would require, and i take offense at being called "it"
ehe, that's not what i meant. sorry about that.

i meant one of those extremely sharp knives that are used for shaving people...

...you know, the type you named yourself after.

Edit : about what region of payment do you need?
 

PhantomCritic

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I haven't really thought about it. If life were a cartoon, I'd say those massive hammers the size of small buildings that characters just pull out their vastly smaller pockets.
 

razer17

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Azraellod said:
razer17 said:
Azraellod said:
hmm, something like a razer would probably suit my purposes just fine.

it can be used to kill quickly if I'm not in the mood, or alternatively i can use it to drag the killing out and make whoever it is suffer.
huh, you called? i'm not sure if you could cope with the huge payment i would require, and i take offense at being called "it"
ehe, that's not what i meant. sorry about that.

i meant one of those extremely sharp knives that are used for shaving people...

...you know, the type you named yourself after.

Edit : about what region of payment do you need?
i never actually named myself after those implements, it just sounded cool at the time, when i was playing CS, i never though of the other implications till just then.
however, depending on who it is £50,000 if they haven't caused harm to society, £15,000 if they have, £100,000 if they are a dictator (they do more harm than most, but hey, that mission is dangerous)
 

Biek

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I'd be stylish and at least kill ONE person with a throwing knife to the throat.
 

Azraellod

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razer17 said:
depending on who it is £50,000 if they haven't caused harm to society, £15,000 if they have, £100,000 if they are a dictator (they do more harm than most, but hey, that mission is dangerous)
alright, I'll message you if i ever need you're valuable services and have that much on me. thank you very much for that.

edit : sending friend request
 

FinalGamer

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On a purely fantastical basis, if I was alone in a room with a person whom I had every reason to justfully murder to the level of something of action-movie vengeance, I'd prefer to go along the psychological torture, make the person break his mind under my influence of words aided by breaking the legs, letting him crawl with some chance of hope but get a broken spine instead, render him uselessly writhing on the ground with all sorts of creepy phrases in his head. Then it's the lethal violation with the blunt object in his ass.
 

IMrAngryPantsI

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Well. If I was to honestly kill someone, it would be someone I hate. not an innocent. The first thing i would do would be to watch the obituaries and wait for an upcoming burial. preferably one happening within the week of the murder. Then i would kill them slowly, but relatively cleanly. Maybe a shovel to the face a couple of times or a bat. Then tie them up, put them in a garbage bag, and dig three feet deeper into the burial site for another dead individual. Put them in the hole. Cover them with dirt. and no one would no that anyone was in the the same ditch as their 80 year old granny. :p
 

LetheanLilith

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ooh, I used to think about this in class when i was bored all the time! i'd decide who in the class i would kill first if i could and there wasn't the whole 'guilt' thing attached to it. (I'M NOT CRAZY, I SWEAR.)
I'd probably kill them with a two handed sword. I haven't practiced my fencing in a while.. It would be fun. I could give them a sword, teach them the basics, fence them, and then slit their throat when I got bored.
Either that or I would set them on fire.
EDIT: actually, I think the funnest way possible to kill someone is by making them SUICIDE. I'd give them a gun and have a bullet proof barrier between us, and I would basically convince them that they want to die. I'm a cold hearted person, and have incredibly miserable views on life (I just don't really care), so I could manage this.
 

Caimekaze

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MaxTheReaper said:
S.H.A.R.P. said:
Panzer_God said:
S.H.A.R.P. said:
Well, when I'm in a car I destroy everything I see with my laser eyes. So yeah, killing Cyclops style would be my choice.
I thought I was the only one to do that.
It's not the first time I encountered this on the Escapist, I'm pretty sure there are others too.
Guilty.

Anyway, knife.
It's my Weapon of Choice.
How did you make that time machine anyway, Jack?