You must change a paradise into a hell, by changing one thing...

[Funkysandwich]

Everyone has a Hitler moustache that cannot be removed. Including women.

 

[nyankaty]

I would make all internet super slow dial-up. Instant insanity and misery.

Edit: Oh, and it dials up on your phone line so you can't call anyone if you're online. And if someone tries to call or text you, it might disconnect your internet because of that.

 

[Groxnax]

All the music sounds like Alvin and the Chipmunks sung them.

After inhaling helium.