You took over the world....now what?

[Varjex]

Well line up every idiot and blow his brains out. Then retreat to my fortress of solitude and live out the rest of my years figuring out how to colonize other planets.

 

[Ponce Master-General]

First thing I'd do is force Valve to make Episode 3 with my gun that shoots velociraptors.

 

[Riccan]

Once I become the leader, I would secretlly begin funding the construction of a fortress beneath the ocean. In this fortress I shall have the greatest of human minds construct a machine/supercomputer that one could implant one's conscious into it. Then, I would have an enormous army of hyper-advanced, near indestructable robots(think Necrons) constructed that could be controlled through the above mentioned machine. I would then have underground bunkers created that contain more of my deathbots and machines that I could send my conscious through. I would have all books that contain knowledge on electronics, machinery, and anything else that I would need to know to maintain my machines (and myself by extension) "fed" to me. All of the scientists who helped create these things would also be "fed" to me to gain their knowledge and prevent them from ursurping me or hindering me in any way.

I will then create a bot that appears as I once did and use that to conduct my dealings with world powers, all the while improving my machines and my fortress. I would set certain goals to be accomplished such as developing a more efficient fuel source within 25 years, and others in an attempt to advance humanity. They will always be kept behind me however. I would continue to improve myself to the point that I could somehow push my will into any computer or advanced machine that I choose. I would continue to absorb knowledge, conduct mass calculations on various probabilities to almost predict the future, and create new technologies and sources of power for myself.

After all of that, I would make my me-bot stand down from office and allow the world to act on its own and hopefully the advanced means of obtaining energy would help as I watch from the shadows. If things start to get out of hand again, I would already have had bases on Mars and various moons that would hold me if the planet where to be annihilated. I would ofcourse have tried to prevent that through the deathbots on Earth, but hey, shit happens.

So I would basically be a better version of Mr. House

And because all of that is kind of boring, every other Friday and Monday will have one giant dance party.

 

[daywalker1776]

Do you remember Franklin D. Roosevelt's 2nd Bill of Rights. Well, I'll start with those, and then probably make all the oil executives pay for all the damages they caused to the world, and then send them to jail for a very long, long, long time. All the workers of said oil companies will be fine, give them public works jobs until they can find something else. Also, while we are on that subject, transfer all people on unemployment and not actively seeking a job within the next month would be immediately transferred to public works until they can find another job. If they refuse, then they don't get the unemployment checks. And, simultaneously, negotiate with the unions of all workers of the world to set up a system of governance that prevents lazy workers from being defended from said unions. Also, establish a new world currency, and invest in nuclear energy until a more efficient green energy is found (in case you're wondering, I would also invest heavily in green and nuclear energy R&D). Finally, remember the space program, how we were going to send a guy to Mars, and colonize the moon, and other stuff like that, well say hello to space program Mk. II.

"So you take over the world for good reasons?"
"I agree with everything you say, can I be your henchman?"

Why of course comrade, may the attack begin at dawn.

"all right but what are we attacking at dawn?Wait I'm a henchman I don't ask questions I hit things with a hammer."

And it is for your loyalty that you will be answered. We attack...Activision HQ as part of my 34 step plan to enslave the human race with the exception of a few who will be either my wives or my henchmen and their "loved" ones.

"Good Good, but what if your said loved ones need plastic surgery so they don't feel ugly."
"All good evil organizations have good health coverage since most henchmen die off with in a day."

Don't worry, just about everything imaginable that involves going to a hospital is covered for my henchmen. Also, the life expectancy of my henchmen is about one week.

"Now all what should I call you, you need an EVIL name to go by."
How about Ochiva, Sounds very exotic."

Agreed, we will go with that. All the world will tremble before Ochiva.

"Yes Ochiva, we are not only successful at taking over the world but also this topic as well."

Yes, but now the Escapist knows too much. You know what must be done.

"Yes, master..."
*Press self destruct on my profile*
"Now they will never find us!!!"

Good, now that that is taken care of, let's go to the moon and celebrate with the 72 virgins that the Muslims thought they'd get. And don't worry, they are all women, and sexy at that.

"Being the EVIL scholar that I am that 72 virgins was a mistranslation, what they actually got was grapes!"

Fair enough, I will need intelligent henchmen in my army. But still, we get 72 virgins (and some grapes if you want).

"Grapes no. Wine, perhaps..."

screw it, just give me some Coors Light and Jack Daniels and I'll be happy, you can get whatever you want.

"i'v never had Jack denials but I always wanted some."

Well that is about to change.

"I know they use it in BBQ sauce too."

If anything, that makes it more awesome.

 

[Timmaaaah]

Change my name to 'Zod' and make everyone 'KNEEEEL"

I know a girl called Zod.

Does she rule with an iron fist?

Nah she mostly just goes to work as a nurse for old people and drinks with her friends. I guess she rules the old people with an iron fist and health packs?

 

[anthony87]

Probably make a couple of smoked bacon sandwiches.

.....What?

 

[Cobbs]

VULGAR ABUSE OF POWER
followed by some decent ruling. followed by the execution of traitors by way of cassowary