Your bi-monthly reminder that just because you're a nerd, it doesn't make you smart:

[TheMysteriousGX]

The latest craze running around the tech bros of Silicon Valley?

"Raw Water".

For only Five real actual US dollars, you too can drink one gallon of unfiltered, naturally probiotic mountain water.

And by "naturally probiotic", I mean, "is going to give you several new and exciting forms of dysentery".

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

Hmmm, there's a river nearby. Lots of fauna like water fowl and fish live there.
If the water's natural enough for them, it's good enough for us.

Methinks a business opportunity looms.

 

[Catfood220]

I'm not seeing a problem here I'll be honest with you, I mean, a little bit of Legionella is good for you. Have you never heard the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"?

 

[Samtemdo8_v1legacy]

I like to keep never having dysentery in my life a permenant thing thank you Silicon Valley

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

Maybe we should look at it in a different way.

All that dysentery-induced diarrhea will just flush all the bad humours out of your system. Kind of like a reverse enema.

 

[Kyrian007]

Maybe we should look at it in a different way.

All that dysentery-induced diarrhea will just flush all the bad humours out of your system. Kind of like a reverse enema.

Yes, after all we wouldn't want them to wind up bilious or phlegmatic. Or worse, both. Maybe the water has leeches too... so healthy!

 

[Thaluikhain]

Oh come on, you wouldn't get dysentry.

Cryptosporidium or giardia are much more likely. Possibly chemical pollutants around as well.

But...no. Seriously, no. Really, really don't do this.

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

What if I want medium-rare water?

I wonder if I could pitch that as a business idea ... bottled water that had been tailor specific heated for a specific amount of time for a certain period, and stored in various ionizing metal capsules before bottled?

"Medium-rare Copper Water" ...

Our water has been hand-scooped and distilled at our laboratories, heated carefullly through electrically charged metal drums and hosing to allow maximum metal ionization before being pressurized to perfection for sensual molecular agitation and partial electrolysis.

How about lightning purified bottled water?

"Well-done Water"

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

Did Infowars and homeopathy produce a lovechild? This guy is a fraud, plain and simple, but they're all the rage these days in the US it would seem.

So...how about some tighter research and regulation from the FDA here, if it's been going on for 3 years already? Oh who am I kidding, in this sorry state of affairs.

 

[draigan]

While i agree with the title this doesn't really back it up. It sounds like this guy has figured out a way sell water to idiots for a ton of profit, while it might be morally bankrupt it does seem to be a smart way to make some money. /shrug

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

Oh come on, you wouldn't get dysentry.

Cryptosporidium or giardia are much more likely. Possibly chemical pollutants around as well.

Well, no disentery is a bit disappointing, but cryptosporidium or giardia both cause diarrhea, so all the bad toxins can still be properly vacated in a great and healthy anal deluge.

Gotta flush yourself for them bennies, bro.

Those chemicals are little worrisome though. That's how the Illuminati control our minds, innit?

"Medium-rare Copper Water" ...

Our water has been hand-scooped and distilled at our laboratories, heated carefullly through electrically charged metal drums and hosing to allow maximum metal ionization before being pressurized to perfection for sensual molecular agitation and partial electrolysis.

Should sell like gangbusters. How could it not when you word it so eloquently?

 

[Bad Jim]

$6 a gallon? When I had to do without a water supply a few years ago I bought a load of water from the local supermarket in 2 liter bottles that cost 8p each. And that water was safe to drink.

 

[renegade7]

I had to skip Christmas because I needed to work a straight 20 hours in order to stay ahead on my research so I can finish my PhD in a timely manner and ultimately have a prayer at a job that might pay around $70,000 a year if I'm lucky.

What I should really be doing is selling expensive crap to rich morons.

 

[Terminal Blue]

Oh, but regular water has birth control pills in it, which contain the dreaded estrogen.

I mean, shit, if you're going to drink your leftist betacuck water you may as well switch to soy milk. Meanwhile, real men drink unpasteurized milk, which is the real way to own the libs. Shitting blood is just a sign that it's working and you're becoming a real man.

 

[Gethsemani_v1legacy]

Here's a fun bit of trivia: Prior to the advent of modern plumbing and tap water the most common drinks in the Western World were beer and wine (depending on if you lived in Northern/Central Europe, America or Southern Europe). This was the case from Antiquity up to the early-20th century. The reason people choose to go around being drunk all the time and eventually suffering from liver cirrhosis was that drinking water straight from natural water sources was always a gamble with a bunch of nasty diseases and intestinal parasites (and the concept of boiling water was not well understood).

It is good to know that modern man in some ways is more ignorant than people that lived in the literal dark ages...

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

Oh, but regular water has birth control pills in it, which contain the dreaded estrogen.

I mean, shit, if you're going to drink your leftist betacuck water you may as well switch to soy milk. Meanwhile, real men drink unpasteurized milk, which is the real way to own the libs. Shitting blood is just a sign that it's working and you're becoming a real man.

A poetic irony that such beloved social Darwinism may come right back around to bite them on the butt. Or in this case, in the butt?

 

[Thaluikhain]

Here's a fun bit of trivia: Prior to the advent of modern plumbing and tap water the most common drinks in the Western World were beer and wine (depending on if you lived in Northern/Central Europe, America or Southern Europe). This was the case from Antiquity up to the early-20th century. The reason people choose to go around being drunk all the time and eventually suffering from liver cirrhosis was that drinking water straight from natural water sources was always a gamble with a bunch of nasty diseases and intestinal parasites (and the concept of boiling water was not well understood).

It is good to know that modern man in some ways is more ignorant than people that lived in the literal dark ages...

Do you have a source for that? I have heard that before, but I've also heard that that has been exaggerated, and that people didn't understand the dangers of water born diseases anyway. Also unsure of how much better the beer and wine were in that respect, though that's not my field.

In certain parts of the West, tea was very popular (IIRC, the EIC had to keep a year's supply in reserve at one stage), and that boiling water to make tea may have greatly benefited people. How much the latter is true I'm also unsure of, though.

 

[Baffle]

Do you have a source for that? I have heard that before, but I've also heard that that has been exaggerated, and that people didn't understand the dangers of water born diseases anyway. Also unsure of how much better the beer and wine were in that respect, though that's not my field.

You have to boil water to make beer (at least beer with hops); even short of boiling, you need to get the water to ~68-70C to get the sugars out of grain.

You don't need to boil with wine (though you might if you're making a fruit wine I think). OTOH, the alcohol content of wine can make it a hostile environment for microbes (which is why it's hard to make a really high-strength wine; regardless of how much sugar you add, the yeast dies once you hit a certain level of alcohol).

 

[Gethsemani_v1legacy]

You have to boil water to make beer (at least beer with hops); even short of boiling, you need to get the water to ~68-70C to get the sugars out of grain.

You don't need to boil with wine (though you might if you're making a fruit wine I think). OTOH, the alcohol content of wine can make it a hostile environment for microbes (which is why it's hard to make a really high-strength wine; regardless of how much sugar you add, the yeast dies once you hit a certain level of alcohol).

Wine isn't boiled, but the liquid in wine is grape juice which means that the water has been filtered by the plant and thus is safe to drink. And, as you point out, the relatively high alcohol content of wine makes it less likely to serve as a growing ground for microbes.

Do you have a source for that? I have heard that before, but I've also heard that that has been exaggerated, and that people didn't understand the dangers of water born diseases anyway. Also unsure of how much better the beer and wine were in that respect, though that's not my field.

In certain parts of the West, tea was very popular (IIRC, the EIC had to keep a year's supply in reserve at one stage), and that boiling water to make tea may have greatly benefited people. How much the latter is true I'm also unsure of, though.

I don't have a source readily at hand, primarily because I remember reading it in a Swedish history magazine and I've got well over a hundred issues at this point. As for tea, it has been suggested that in Asian cultures the tea drinking served a purpose similar to beer and wine in Europe; it allowed for the consumption of disinfected liquids. As with all things historical, the exact reasons why something was done are very hard to pin down, but it is also telling that pretty much every culture throughout history has found a way to consume liquids that had undergone some form of disinfection.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

I like to keep never having dysentery in my life a permanent thing thank you Silicon Valley

Don't think of it as something anti-affirmation like dysentery, think of it as a pro-affirmation screaming squirts cleanse.