Your Conspiracy

[WolfLordAndy]

My conspiracy theory... Jesus was an Alien.

All the tales about him add up to the fact that he had a much greater interlect and power over everything.

The virgin birth: Alien abduction and implantation? Was he a hybrid? Or a truely "planted" agent.
The walking on water: He had somekind of levitation device, or a natural psychic ability of flight.
Water to Wine: Again, technology that lets him change molecular composition, or psychic ability allowing him to do the same.
Feeding the 5000: Replicator anyone?
Rising from the dead: Maybe he didnt die, as crusifixion wouldnt kill him, or maybe they had some kind of resusitation technology? Natural regeneration?

Finally, Rising to the heavens: He simply went home, a flying saucer came along and beamed him up like in so many crappy B-movies. But to simple folk of the day, he was ascending to the heavens!

Maybe aliens are watching us right now seeing how we created a religion by some alien 2000 years ago, and how wrong we got it. We could be one big reality TV show for them, and I bet they laugh their arses off at Sunday morning services! ;-)

 

[Limasol]

I suspect trees and plants of laughing at me behind my back. In addition, I'm frequently paranoid that people can hear the bad things I'm thinking about them. Also that I'm the only person in the entire world without the ability to read minds, and that people are just keeping it secret purely to spite me.

It was like reading my own brain, holy SHIT, people can read my mind!!!

 

[RufusMcLaser]

Toothpaste contains silica. Silica abrades tooth enamel, making your teeth more susceptible to decay and damage UNLESS, that is... Unless you keep using toothpaste, which has enough helpful ingredients to keep the bad-ness at bay.

This is the line handed down by one of my favorite science teachers, about fifteen years ago. I don't know if he was being serious. But it's an amusing theory.

For my own part, I've grown out of conspiracy theories. They're fun, but generally bunk.

 

[Ultrajoe]

The american government never puts out enough evidence to 'conclusively' prove that they had no ties to 9/11 so they can spot those they need to prevent reproducing by the fools that accuse them of it.

Brilliance.

 

[RufusMcLaser]

now I know some people are in dire need of attention from any possible source, but these folks really need a grip. What's next? someone saying we're not real too? That this is all an illusion?

Then again, this being the internet, the chance of it being around already is significant...

You mean Solipsism? [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solipsism]

Fred Brown wrote a lovely short story called "It Didn't Happened" which contained a conspiracy among "real" people to cover up the fact that most of the "people" in the world were imaginary; if you killed an unreal person they simply vanished, not only physically, but from memory.
Along the same Fred Brown lines, <a href=http://devernay.free.fr/paradoxlost/html/solipsist.html>this.

 

[Cheesus333]

british people are so defensive about their country is cause they know no one else cares about their country, and the reason they have bad teeth is that they are trying to come up with a legitimate reason that women will not want to go out with them, but in accuality they just don't brush they're teeth because they're stupid

Upon what evidence are your xenophobic theories based? I myself brush my teeth everyday- girls don't go out with me, I'll admit, but that is because of reasons beyond my control. And if nobody cares about Britain, why do the world and his wife seem to want to come here? For a small country, we get a lot of immigrants, so clearly someone thinks we're cool. And yes, I am defensive about my country - not to the point of swearing and warfare, or even joining the Army, but enough that I respond to silly, uninformed fools like you when they come up with some very bad stereotypes and assume that they're now the best thing ever. Here's your wake up call, Mr. Zero: You are not.

I loved that Fred Brown link in the page above; that was really good, and it made me smile. I disagree though; if the world was a figment of my imagnation, I wouldn't have made it this boring. The other day, me and my friend were walking past a post office when we saw two scooters stood outside. When we looked in the building, there were only a cluster of elderly people. My friend and I devised a bet: I bet that the two old women stood at the counter didn't own the scooters, and my friend bet that they did. We stood and watched them, but unfortunately they left the scooters alone and walked off. I would have lost money but it would've been hilarious, but I was left disappointed.

In my universe, all scooters would be owned by old women.

 

[Redlac]

Haha there's some awesome conspiracies here.

The sprinkler? Priceless.

The Evil Atheist Alliance? Brilliant.

Even though it's supposedly full, that big moon thing couldn't possibly be there.

UFO shot down in OZ? Actually, that one sounds plausible.

Sopholism? Explains why when I go to sleep at night I suddenly wake up and it's morning...

Although- I did meet someone who with absolute conviction said that Jesus was an alien. What's even scarier was that some of the reasons why were near verbatim. He then went on to say how David Icke was right.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_icke

My personal conspiracy theory (which is totally true by the way) is that America does not have a population of around 305,405,000, and has in it's constitution the right to own a gun because of this:

http://www.velociraptors.info/#

 

[The Iron Ninja]

I have a new conspiracy.

Travis Bickle is Taxi Driver in disguise. Fiendishly remaining on the escapist while his three day ban is in effect by using a different profile.

My proof?
Well asides from the similarities of the avatar I bring you this little quote.

I'm down for any future that allows me to make my living off going into someone?s house and stabbing them the throat while they sleep.

If that's not Taxi driver then I'll eat my chef hat.

 

[Redlac]

Noo! Not the hat! Will no one think of the Crabs??

 

[mokes310]

My conspiracy theory... Jesus was an Alien.

All the tales about him add up to the fact that he had a much greater interlect and power over everything.

The virgin birth: Alien abduction and implantation? Was he a hybrid? Or a truely "planted" agent.
The walking on water: He had somekind of levitation device, or a natural psychic ability of flight.
Water to Wine: Again, technology that lets him change molecular composition, or psychic ability allowing him to do the same.
Feeding the 5000: Replicator anyone?
Rising from the dead: Maybe he didnt die, as crusifixion wouldnt kill him, or maybe they had some kind of resusitation technology? Natural regeneration?

Finally, Rising to the heavens: He simply went home, a flying saucer came along and beamed him up like in so many crappy B-movies. But to simple folk of the day, he was ascending to the heavens!

Maybe aliens are watching us right now seeing how we created a religion by some alien 2000 years ago, and how wrong we got it. We could be one big reality TV show for them, and I bet they laugh their arses off at Sunday morning services! ;-)

Isn't that basically Scientology if you change the names around???

 

[The Iron Ninja]

I have a new conspiracy.

Travis Bickle is Taxi Driver in disguise. Fiendishly remaining on the escapist while his three day ban is in effect by using a different profile.

My proof?
Well asides from the similarities of the avatar I bring you this little quote.

I'm down for any future that allows me to make my living off going into someone?s house and stabbing them the throat while they sleep.

If that's not Taxi driver then I'll eat my chef hat.

Don?t be [color=Google Travis Bickle if you want to shit bricks]ridiculous[/color]

Wow... this must be a record time for a conspiracy theory to be proven right.

(To those less inquisitive than me, the name of the colour he used for [color=Google Travis Bickle if you want to shit bricks]ridiculous[/color] was "Color=Google Travis Bickle if you want to shit bricks")

So it seems my hat will remain uneaten.

Why the vomit by the way?

 

[Beowulf DW]

An old physics teacher of mine has a conspiracy theory.

My physics teacher, Mr. Hasson, once helped run a company that made a component for the space shuttles. O-rings, actually. His company explicitly told NASA that the O-rings wouldn't function properly at certain temperatures. NASA apparently ignored this warning and...well...you've all heard of the Challenger disaster, right?

During the investigation after the explosion, one of the more prominent physicists who was participating in the investigation, Richard Feynman, was invited to the house of an Air Force officer. After they had eaten, the Air Force officer asked Feynman if he could take a look at his son's broken RC car. Feynman looked at the RC and realized that the O-rings of the RC had been warped by high/low temperatures, resulting in its malfunction. This set Feynman on the path to the conclusion that the shuttle's O-rings malfunctioned, resulting in the destruction of Challenger.

Here's where the conspiracy theory comes in.

Why the hell would the RC just happen to have warped O-rings? Why did the high ranking Air Force officer need Feynman's help to figure this out?

Mr. Hasson maintains that the Air Force officer, and NASA, knew that there was a danger in launching the shuttles outside of a given temperature range. My old teacher claims that the Air Force officer showed Feynman the RC with a bad O-ring because the officer knew that Feynman would arrive the conclusion that the O-rings had been messed up. Furthermore, the officer did this because he was too scared to come forward himself. If he did, it would mean that NASA had willing taken unnecessary and forseeable risks with the lives of the Challenger crew, and all the blame would have been dumped on the government and NASA.

That's my old physics teacher's view on it.

 

[nepheleim]

I actually have the answer to that. The guys dealing with Challenger used a statistical compilation to chart o-ring failures against temperature, starting from z temp on the x axis downwards, and # of ring failures on the y. The trouble is that they started at one failure, which gave a very shallow slope in terms of o ring failures as the temperature decreased. Had they included the 0 value for o ring failures, then a very sharp slope appears. It was a matter of misreading a stat plot.

 

[Insomiac]

My conspiracy theory is that the so called uncurable desease A.I.D.S was made in a laboratory
as a means for population control. Almost 3/4 parts of Africa has it. Most of these people would be considered a burden to society because they don't have a means to feed and shelter themselves so scientists were hired with the goal to assist with the population control without being directly blamed for it.

 

[Dudemeister]

Truthism <3
lololol

 

[Drift-Bus]

I had a theory a while back, and with each passing year it's looking more and more plausable.

Bush demolishs wokers rights (as does/did Howard), helping force unemployment up while giving the upper echolons of society tax cuts to acrue more wealth. As jobs dissappear and health care goes out the window (or down the shitter, pick your own metaphor!) Bush starts wars in country's and under circumstances he couldn't possibly hope to win easily. As private companies like heliburton make disgusting profits, the US economy falls to shit.

With no jobs and health care available in the private sector, the Government does the only thing it can...


It gives high rates, health care and welfare to the familys of anyone who joins the miliatry. Bush manipulates his country untill the only realistic offer left to people below the poverty line is the army.

Thank Christ Obama got in

 

[tijuanatim]

Prepare to be shocked

The real conspiracy is that Joe was put on probation....err Ultraprobation?

On Topic. The REAL conspiracy is that Chuck Norris is responsible for every major political assassination in history....except JFK and Lincoln. JFK commited suicide and Lincoln is still alive.

 

[Hunde Des Krieg]

Slowly but surely the large Corporations are going to take over the governments of the western world and form one giant consumerist society. this new "government" will fake events to sway public opinion, and will fight covert wars with other corporations, and sanction the assassinations of those that speak against them. All music and forms of entertainment will be designed to thwart independent thought, and the media will be controlled. Free speech and Democracy will become Illusions to keep the public satisfied as the oligarchy gains more and more unreasonable wealth. This will lead to a society without privacy, where the intellectuals will live in fear for their opinions, and the sheeple will live in their contented ignorance. It will lead to an era of unparalleled technological growth, but a backward slide for individual rights and true intellectualism. Scary huh? Oh wait that is the plot synopsis for my novel...

 

[Hunde Des Krieg]

My conspiracy theory is that the so called uncurable desease A.I.D.S was made in a laboratory
as a means for population control. Almost 3/4 parts of Africa has it. Most of these people would be considered a burden to society because they don't have a means to feed and shelter themselves so scientists were hired with the goal to assist with the population control without being directly blamed for it.

If AIDS was a method for population control why is it that it wasn't released in China and India? Both of which eat up more resources than Africa. And both of which are more of a threat to the comfortable lifestyles we've attained in the west.

 

[ElephantGuts]

I've got a really big conspiracy theory but it's somewhat complex and I don't completely know what I'm talking about and it may offend some people so I'm not going to bother writing it down now. Maybe later. Though I will say that it involves ancient times, Atlantis, and Jews.